Wednesday Keeps Popping Out One-Liners

Drunk woman to another: Well, I will see your divorce and raise you an illegitimate pregnancy!

–Court St & Atlantic Avenue, Brooklyn

Girl to super skinny girl: You look pregnant, I think I have a clothes hanger in my locker. You wanna come up and check with me?

–1st Ave & 3rd St

Dad holding baby to wife with another kid in stroller: Somebody's about to get pregnant up in here… It'll be like Maury Povich.

–Downtown 1 Train

Overheard by: NOT the father

Dude on bus to child: See, women, they get to grow people. And in exchange, we get to pee standing up.

–Q64 Bus

Overheard by: a people-grower

Girl to friend: You always seem to get pregnant at the worst times.

–Queens Center Mall

Overheard by: Jenn

Girl to friend: I'm feeling fertile. Who's going to tend to that feeling for me?

–2 Train

Latino guy to friends: That's what my name means in Portuguese, "pregnancy test positive."

–84th Drive, Queens

Posted on July 15, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Breaking Up, Brooklyn, Bus, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Families, Friends, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Kids, Languages, Latinos, Malls, Moms, Names, Offers and requests, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Passengers, Pee, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Queens, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Skinny People, Street, Stupidity, Threats, TV, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

…Making Shopping Lists in Your Head?

Gay boy: So have you guys ever had sex with someone you didn't want to?
Girl: Yes.
Gay boy: Like, they're fucking you and you're just laying there…

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: mezza

Posted on July 13, 2009
Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Queer guys, Questions, Sex, The Village, Wishes & desires

Another Thing Nobody Tells You About Childbirth

Girl #1: She smelled like vagina.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #3: No, she smelled like bloody vagina.

–Union Square

Posted on July 13, 2009
Blood & bleeding, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Sensory Experiences, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Weirdness

You Start with Just One, but It Becomes Hobbitual

Girl #1: Do you think you'll go on another date with him?
Girl #2: Yeah, I'm like addicted to hobbits!

–W 20th St & 6th Ave

Posted on July 12, 2009
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dating, Girls, Questions

Hey, You Never Know When a Stray-Dog Contest Will Erupt in New York

Guy, apropos of nothing: You know, if I were ever in one of those contests where there's a stray dog and two families and you have to figure out which family he loves the most, I would totally keep some Snausages in my pocket or something.
(long pause)
Chick he's with: You are a strange little man. A strange little man.

–Uptown Q Train

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on July 11, 2009
Family Ties, Food, Girls, Guys, Man's Best Friend, On the Subway, Weirdness

Also How Joe Biden Tries to Make Friends

Old man to passing girl: Boo!
(girlfriend shrieks, old man lets out an evil, villain laugh. Girl and her boyfriend walk away quickly, boyfriend chuckling)
Old man, looking back at them as they walk away: Hahahaha! No, no wait! Wait, I'm sorry! I'm sorrryyy!

–77th St & Broadway

Posted on July 11, 2009
Apologies, Boyfriends, Crazies, Crazy, Fears, Girls, Laughter, Old People, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness

Her Inhaler, for Instance.

Blonde chick: So…isn't she going to want her stuff back?
Dude with cute voice: Actually…she doesn't know I have most of her stuff.

–Broadway & 28th St

Overheard by: Stormy

Posted on July 11, 2009
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Girls, Guys, Questions, Thievery, Wishes & desires

He Drew Little Hearts on His Roofies!

Girl #1: He is such a creep.
Girl #2: I know! Isn't he cute?

–24th & 3rd

Overheard by: The Guy

Posted on July 10, 2009
Beauty, Girls, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions, Weirdness

…God, I Envy Her!

Girl: And she was like “I usually only play the nice girls, so I'm excited to play someone sinister.”
Gay guy, laughing out loud: Did she actually say that? I hate her!
Girl: I know, right? And she has no butt, either! It's just like, flat. What would that look like? Not that anyone should have to imagine her naked.
Gay guy: It's like…a cube. (both laugh)

–Metro North

Posted on July 10, 2009
Ass, Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Gripes, Laughter, Nudity, Physical appearance, Queer guys, Trains Not Subway

I Want Him Home in His Jammies Playing Halo

Brunette: I would never date a guy who wears skinny jeans.
Blonde: What's wrong with skinny jeans?
Brunette: It means he's got fashion sense. I just don't need that. I would also never date a guy who's sociable.

–Downtown 1 Train

Overheard by: wearing skinny jeans and wouldn't date her either

Posted on July 9, 2009
Clothing, Dating, Girls, On the Subway, Pickiness, Questions

Girls