Guy: Hey, you’re limping! Did you run the marathon or something?
Gal: No, I fell doing a kegstand.
–Greenwich & Charles
Guy: Hey, you’re limping! Did you run the marathon or something?
Gal: No, I fell doing a kegstand.
–Greenwich & Charles
Large black man on cell phone: They did the deal with the diamonds, then the other guy got greedy and shot up the place.
–Union Ave
Overheard by: Seth Callaway
Teen, looking around: Where are we? Are we purchasing illegal arms?
–Turkish Restaurant, Montague St.
Overheard by: Mike N
Blonde chick in pink coat, perkily: … There was no exit wound, and no bullet.
–L train
Overheard by: Ladle
Girl talking to co-worker: I live near Wall Street and there are like army men down there with machine guns and it’s scary! How do I know they don’t have Tourette’s and won’t just start shooting their guns all over the place?!
–41st & 3rd
Older suit, calmly, to his two female coworkers: I’d like to put a gun to his head and say "Nickie do the right thing or I will blow your fucking head off."
[His companions nod in understanding.]
–Starbucks
Calm Jewish fraternity guy on cell: So, I’m being deported and drafted into the Israeli army… It’s okay, I’ll name my gun after you!
–NYU Waverly Building
Random guy peeing in the corner to girl walking by: Hey girl, I like your scarf. I'd like to make love to you, but you could keep the scarf on. Keep the scarf on when we make love.
Girl's friend: He'd probably use it to choke you.
–14th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Julia
Guy: I'm tellin' you, man. America loves cheese. No, seriously, dude. America loves cheese!
–Ace's, 5th St & Ave B
Cute 20-something guy singing while playing soccer: Bottles of cheese, bottles of cheeeeeeeeese…
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: i'd like a bottle of cheese
Girl: I'd rather have a turkey sandwich with cum on it than cheese.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Lindsay
Distressed female student: She's such a hard grader! She's like…a cheese grater.
–Queens College
Five-year old boy: But mummy, I want goat cheese on my french fries!
–St. Regis Hotel
Overheard by: Nonok
Mom, looking at bedding: Oooh, this one is nice.
Daughter: Mom, I’m getting married. I want to have sex. Lots of it. Hot, steamy, nasty, married-people sex. I just don’t think I can do that on pastels.
–JCPenney bridal registry
Chick #1: Is that the guy you were with last weekend?
Chick #2: Keep your voice down. And please don’t remind me.
Chick #1: Why? He’s not bad.
Chick #2: He’s not even law school hot. I’ve so had to lower my standards for this group.
Chick #1: I’ve just started going out with Jewish guys.
Chick #2: Ugh. Please. We’re only here for another year and a half…I can hold out.
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: iiams
Boricua chick #1: So does your new boyfriend go to school?
Boricua chick #2: Yeah, he goes to some fancy-ass school in Manhattan… BMCC or somethin' like that.
–Queens Blvd
Girl: Did you hear about Barbara Walters and the affairs she had when she was younger? It shocked me.
Guy: Why'd it shock you? A lot of these older people did a lot of crazy shit when they were younger, from violence to sex. How do you think at least 50% of us were born? And she looked kinda good then, I'd have done 'er.
Girl (shaking her head): Just about everybody is fucked up.
Guy (growling and laughing): Don't groan about it, it's nature baby. Us people today are just the latest ones on the scene.
–8th St & 6 Ave
Overheard by: savon
Girl looking at garbage and dirt spilled on the sidewalk: Gross. You think it’s supposed to be art?
–Broadway & Houston
Literature professor: So anything that anybody ever painted was a Guido?
–NYU Silver Center
Plausibly mad septuagenarian clerk: When I was 16 Stravinsky bought my first painting. It was written up in the paper. A couple of days later, I was kidnapped.
–Barnes & Noble, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Seth
Father to four-year-old son: Looking at art makes your legs tired.
–Metropolitan Museum Lobby
Philistine: I don’t like art in which you have to understand the motivation behind it.
–Outside the Guggenheim
Overheard by: Devoted Puppy
Professor-type man to group of teens looking at Greek sculptures: And if the sculpture’s back is up against the wall and you want to see it from behind, just get up against a wall and look at its ass as much as you can… yeah! It’s not dirty or wrong… Just look at its ass!
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Girl #1: Yeah, but the more time I spent in New York, the more I realized it's just full of hustlers.
Girl #2, extremely emphatic: Oh, yeah! Everyone I know in New York is a hustler! (long contemplative pause)
Girl #2: 'cept my cousin.
–Jet Blue Plane Taking Off, JFK
