Wednesdays Floss After Every One-Liner

Asian girl on cell: Yeah… or I could just knock her teeth out and sell them on eBay or something.

–Chelsea Market

Overheard by: Alyssa

Girl on cell: And out of nowhere dude a goddamn peacock feather hit me in the teeth!

–Starbucks, 8th & 39th

Old man: I can smell my own tooth decay!

–Times Square

Overheard by: One Liners Are The Best

Lady on cell: I don't know what to do. I'm like nervous… I know… I haven't bought toothpaste in years…

–Duane Reade

Guy on phone: The difference between you and me is you drink tea and eat tofu. I drink whiskey and make people eat their teeth.

–48th & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Rebecca

Posted on April 29, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Birds, Body Parts, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Cleanliness, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Drinks, Duane Reade, e-Bay, Ethnic Food, Girls, Grocery Stores, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Punch, Sensory Experiences, Starbucks, Street, Time, Times Square, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

…Haha! Just Kidding!! You Should've Seen the Look on Your Face!

Guy #1: Those pants are cute. Did you buy them with the paint on them?
Guy #2: No, I was painting last weekend.

–68th St Loews Theater

Overheard by: amalthya

Posted on April 28, 2015
Beauty, Clothing, Guys, Movie Theaters, Questions, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

That’s Nature’s Way of Making a Gold Donation

White guy #1: You know they fine you for smoking on a train platform even when it’s outdoors?
White guy #2: That’s crazy man.
White guy #1: They even fine you for peeing and jumping the turnstile.
White guy #2: Well, I understand jumping the turnstile…but peeing?

–A train

Posted on April 28, 2015
Guys, Idiots, On the Subway, Pee

What's a Nice Wednesday One-Liner Like You Doing in a Place Like This?

Guy to girl with afro crossing the street: Hey gorgeous! Gorgeous! Let me massage your kinky tips!

–8th Ave & W 4th

Comedy club promoter to hot girl: Hi, do you like comedy? (girl keeps walking) Okay, do you like skinny white guys then?

–42nd & Broadway

Overheard by: Galina

Young boy reading aloud in halting monotone: I like that outfit. It would look great crumpled up on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning. You have 206 bones in your body, want one more?

–Borders, Kips Bay

Overheard by: Emily

Fat white guy in Mets jersey to hot blonde: Hello, my name is Tom and I'm horny. (blonde keeps walking)

–Lexington & 50th

Black man to female passerby: S'cuse me miss… Not to seem rude, but to be honest…for a white girl, you got a nice butt.

–5th Ave

Conductor on PA: Ladies and gentlemen, this last weekend I went to a club…never again. I walked in, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. I saw a beautiful lady across the bar, went up to her and said, "Where have you been all my life?" She said back to me "I think for the first half of your life, I wasn't born." This is 59th, Columbus circle, have a good day, ladies and gentlemen.

–A Train

Posted on April 26, 2015
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Beauty, Black People, Boys, Compliments, Creepsters, Fat People, Flyer people, Guys, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Pick-up Lines, Public Transportation, Questions, Sexuality, Store, Strangers, Subway conductors, Weirdness, West Village, White People

Just Like the Old Song Goes

Guy #1: I was totally eyefucking her.
Guy #2: Yeah, you were eyefucking her from here to Puerto Rico.
Guy #1: Yeah, I was.

–6th Ave & 56th St

Overheard by: Chloe

Posted on April 26, 2015
Guys, Horny, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Sex

I’m Not That Good, but I Am Faithful

Chick: We had a great sex life — fuckin’ all the time… Then I find out that he is calling the free exotic party line… I mean, all the time.
Dude: He’s a loser if he spends all his time doing it… Will you have sex with me now?

–2 train

Overheard by: aeongirl777

Posted on April 26, 2015
Girls, Guys, On the Subway, Pick-up Lines, Sex

Check and check!

Guy : Yeah, Portland’s great…if you’re into heroin!

–East Village

Posted on April 24, 2015
Guys, Heroin, Union Square and East Village

“Because that zebra gave me his gum!”

Guy #1: …and he just kept chewing and chewing. Man, I felt so bad.
Guy #2: Dude, why did you give a Twizzler to a giraffe?

–Astoria

Posted on April 24, 2015
Animals & Nature, Astoria, Guys, Junk Food & Fast Food

Just a Little Something for You to Think About While I Go in This Corner and Puke

Large drunk black guy to black girl sitting down: Girl, you're so pretty, why are you frowning?
Black girl sitting down: Do me a favor, get up out my face.
(two large Hispanic men get up to protect her)
Large drunk black guy: Okay, I'm done…but I love you.

–2 Train

Overheard by: jj is sober at 10am

Posted on April 24, 2015
Black People, Compliments, Default, Drunks, Girls, Guys, Love, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Pick-up Lines, Questions

Right Before the Cautionary Chapter About Frosted Tips

Guy: I love porn. I've got XTube bookmarked.
Slightly older guy: You're a gay man in New York: of course you love porn. It's in the rulebook.

–42nd St, near Broadway

Posted on April 23, 2015
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Internet, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Only in New York, Porn

Guys