Guy #1: Have you ever farted inside a piece of public art before?
Guy #2: Yes. I used to fart in the Arch all the time.
Guy #1: Oh…well, then, have you ever farted in a piece of public art by Jeanne-Claude and Christo?
–The Gates
Guy #1: Have you ever farted inside a piece of public art before?
Guy #2: Yes. I used to fart in the Arch all the time.
Guy #1: Oh…well, then, have you ever farted in a piece of public art by Jeanne-Claude and Christo?
–The Gates
Hot girl: I mean, dudes are going to be staring at you anyway, but if your nipples are poking through your shirt then it’s just all over.
Nerdy Guy: Wow… Yeah!
–Upper East Side
Overheard by: rad dude
Guy: She did this album made up entirely of processed sex noises. It’s her and her boyfriend having sex in various sundry ways. She got mentioned in a British newspaper and then the Daily News picked it up. And now it looks like she’s going to have a record deal. Most of it is…it’s kind of German, you know?
–27th Street office
Guy: Yo girl, I gotta song for you.
Girl: Okay. What you got?
Guy, beginning to beat-box: You a five-star bitch, I got a five-star dick…
Girl: Hahahaha.
Guy: Eight inches long and just as thick…
Girl: What!? Hold up!
–W. 110th & Malcom X
Overheard by: The Music Man
Cabbie #1: Fuck you! Fuck you!
Cabbie #2, getting out of car: No, fuck you! You are the fucking garbage!
Random guy, leaning out window: Shut up! Shut. Up!
Cabbies: Fuck you!
–3rd Ave b/w 9th & 10th
Drunk girl: So, have you heard from her?
Drunk guy: No, she’s too busy popping out fetuses. She pops out a fetus like every week!
–57th & 9th
Overheard by: Cori
Guy: Yeah, and he lied to me about dying, too!
–Bedford Ave, Brooklyn
Girl: So what is your name going to be tonight?
–6th Ave & 57th St
Queer on cell: She tried to tell me that I was fatter than him — that muthafucka is the worst liar in the world!
–Grand Central Terminal
Overheard by: She was probably right…
Guy: I just told her, ‘Keep on fakin’ those orgasms!’
–7th Ave & 32nd St
Suit on cell in McDonald’s: Yeah, well, I’m in Connecticut right now…
–Astoria, Queens
Overheard by: Blaine
Conductor: There’s another local train directly behind this one. I would never lie to you.
–W train to Astoria
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Man exiting taxi: If anyone asks, we walked!
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Kyle
Italian guy #1: I tell you you stink so you go in the store and put on Pledge?
Italian guy #2: Yeah!
Italian guy #1: What? Are you stupid?!
–Outside the Met
Overheard by: lousie
Neighborhood drunk: (unintelligible)
Guy: I do! I get all my toilet paper at the 99 cent store.
Neighborhood drunk: Then you're one step ahead of the game.
–5th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: wza
Guy #1: So I was talkin’ to him ’bout his sister–
Guy #2: Yo man, that chick is so fine.
Guy #1: Man, I know what you mean. But she naive, you know? She don’t know how fine she is.
Guy #2: Yeah. Naive.
Guy #1: But then she had the nerve to touch his boxes. What chick touches a guy’s boxes? She got an ugly soul.
–E train
Overheard by: Suzie
