Guys

Crazy man dressed like a King: Everyone, I just bought the sun! So if you don't mind, I'd like a hundred dollars an hour if you're using my sunlight.

–Sheep Meadow, Central Park

MTA track worker to another: Why does everybody wanna die tonight, Eric? Is there a full moon or something?

–49th St Station

Overheard by: Jon A.

Man talking to himself on imaginary cellphone: There will never be peace until the planet explodes. Then there will be peace. (pause) Yes, I took my medication today.

–R Train

Overheard by: Matt Giella

Guy in line for a play: I don't take my sunglasses off because the sun never sets on a badass

–41st & 7th

Overheard by: clara

Teen thug to another: He said he likes sunsets. Who says he likes sunsets?

–Macon & Marcy, Brooklyn

Overheard by: g

Co-ed: And Galileo's like, "Saturn has rings!" And Kepler's like, "Oh my god, really?" And Galileo's like, "Ya, really!"

–1 Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Guy #1: So, how was your weekend?
Guy #2: Man, I ain’t never gettin’ married…

–50th & 8th

Guy #1, reading Post: This is why I drink! I drink to forget this shit!
Guy #2: I used to drink to forget. Now I just pee to remember.

–Sin Sin Bar, East Village

Overheard by: Alan Roberts

Black guy: I ain’t saying I love her, but I got feelings for the bitch.

–82nd & 2nd

Overheard by: Rick Segall

Fratboy: Fuck the afterlife. I want my 72 virgins now.

–111th & Broadway

Overheard by: Djlindee

Shoplady on phone: Oh, so did she tell you about her sex? Well, she told me…I mean, she’s ugly but it’s good to know even ugly people can have good imaginary sex.

–Barbara Feinman Millinery, St. Mark’s Place

Overheard by: Sarah C

Jamaican lady: We don’t fuck for enjoyment, we fuck for love.

–Washington Heights

Guy on cell: You had sex with my sister!…Well was she any good?…Where the hell did she learn that nifty trick?

–Times Square

Guy: Oh, you should come by the soup kitchen I run. There are no homeless people. Only real estate people. I used to go…I would go on Wednesday (snaps fingers) and I’d have a date for Saturday.

–Union Squre theatre

Suit: Marriage is so fucking out in banking right now. I was engaged for a while, just because I wanted to plant my seed, you know. But that didn’t work out.

–Wall Street

Overheard by: Black Red Yellow NYC

Guy #1: What did you say?
Guy #2: What do you think I said? “That ain’t shampoo, it’s maple syrup.”

–1st between 74th & 75th

Overheard by: The Iron Lung

Tourist: I read about this place in that New York book I got from the library.
Guy in line: Did it also tell you that when it's a full moon everything is half off?
Tourist to friend: Dude! We should just both get the large, then.
Friend: I love this town and its little quirks like this.

–Gray's Papaya

Guy dressed as Santa: Hey, man, got a cigarette?
Random guy: Fuck no, I got a beef with you, Santa!

–Bar, Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Keavy (loves Santa)

Guy #1: They put lead in ice cream so it makes you retarded.
Guy #2: Yeah?
Guy #1: Yeah, they put all sorts of chemicals in food; genocide, pesticide…

–A train

Girl: What is this?
Guy: Orange juice!
Girl: (pause)
Guy: I mean anti-freeze!

–29th & Madison

Overheard by: AlphaBeta

Smart girl: Well, he needs to check with his partner to see if we can have dogs in the apartment.
Hot guy: So, do you think he's gay?
Smart girl: No! He's Spanish.

–Pelham Parkway & Cruger Ave, The Bronx

Overheard by: Dazed and Confused