Girl #1: Oh my god, I love my English teacher.
Guy: Why? He’s so old!
Girl #1: He’s so easy.
Girl #2: What? You guys had sex?
Girl #1: Nah! He passed me with a 90 and all I do in his class is eat
breakfast.
–G train
Overheard by: Faizun Nahar
Girl #1: Oh my god, I love my English teacher.
Guy: Why? He’s so old!
Girl #1: He’s so easy.
Girl #2: What? You guys had sex?
Girl #1: Nah! He passed me with a 90 and all I do in his class is eat
breakfast.
–G train
Overheard by: Faizun Nahar
Chubby Hispanic guy: I got soap on a rope, dude.
Manly black guy: And I got scissors, baby.
–W 34th St
Guy to friend: Are you gay, man?
Friend: I'm not fucking gay, I just want to hold your fucking hand!
Hobo: I'll hold your hand, buddy.
–2nd Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: Just wanted a milkshake…
Large black woman to another: So I said to him, "Muthafucka, don't you know a baby comes out of that shit? Ain't nothing you got down there gonna hurt me!"
–Fulton St
Old man with thick Russian accent: It is fresher than a baby's bottom!
–Ave M & E 16th, Brooklyn
Ghetto black guy on phone: Nah, I was locked up, but I'm out now, and she's tryin' to say it's my baby, but that shit ain't mine.
–Downtown 2 Train
Man on cell, passing adorable child playing with dog: I love fucking babies!
–10th & 53rd
Puerto Rican girl to pregnant friend: You feel like you have to poop, but that's just the baby.
–36th St & 34th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Bryan Bruner
Conductor: Ma'am, please step off the ramp platform and wait until it is safe. (pause) Miss, you're having a frickin' baby, get off the ramp! (she does) Thank you.
–Metro-North Rail Tracks
Overheard by: Theonlyonewhoseemedtonotice
Teenage mother to friends, running to catch subway: Last one gets the baby!
–Broadway
Overheard by: Francisco S. Ramírez
Black guy: You just made fun of someone with Down's Syndrome!
Hispanic girl: She kicked me!
Black guy (exasperated): Because she has Down's Syndrome!
–Union St & 4th Ave
Overheard by: Chihuahua
Guy: Oh my god! I just snorted!
Girl: Hey! There’s only room for one snorter and I’ve already claimed that title.
–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Natalie
Bus driver: Take it to the end of the bus.
Dude: What?
Bus driver: Take it to the end of the bus. I don’t want to listen to you cursing.
Dude: What the fuck? I am not talking to you.
Bus driver: I don’t talk like that.
Dude: You look like you talk like that!
–Q23 bus
Girl: Well, she's newly single so…
Guy with baby: So you know what she's looking for.
Girl: Well, she already hooked up with a bartender in a broom closet.
–6th Ave & 19th St
Overheard by: Daniel
Meathead: I think that’s just so ridiculous that they would expect you to teach these kids when you don’t know the kids at all.
Ditzy girl: Well they had name tags.
–2 train
