Guy #1: I’m a good guy, I swear.
Guy #2: He really is. Only draw lines on weekends.
The girl leaves.
Guy #1: Dude, why did you have to say that? Sure, everyone does it, but it’s secret guy code: never tell a woman!
–76th & 2nd
Guy #1: I’m a good guy, I swear.
Guy #2: He really is. Only draw lines on weekends.
The girl leaves.
Guy #1: Dude, why did you have to say that? Sure, everyone does it, but it’s secret guy code: never tell a woman!
–76th & 2nd
Big black guy #1: Yo, does anybody know where we get off to go uptown?
White passenger: The next stop.
Big back guy #1: Yo, everyone shut up and listen to the white nigga! He’s givin’ us directions!
Big black guy #2: Ain’t no such thing as a white nigga, fool!
–F Train
Guy: So he finally got the guy away from the mark.
Girl: Wait, who’s the mark?
Guy: The new guy she’s fucking.
–14th & 8th
Dude #1: Lots of people tell me I’m the gayest straight man they know.
Dude #2: Mmmm… No, I know a gayer straight guy than you.
–F station, Bergen St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Suit on cell: You know, in the 80s everyone and their brother were making limos in their basement.
–17th & Broadway
Overheard by: Vespa
(obnoxious pimped-out car revs up at stop sign, then tears down the road)
Old guy: That guy's goin' back to the future! 88 miles per hour!
–9th & Stuyvesant
Tough-looking woman to younger one: Let me teach you how to break into a car…
–27th b/w 6th & 5th
Overheard by: Kyle
Russian guy on cell (in Russian): I am not seeing her as a woman, I am seeing her as a potential driver of a vehicle.
–Lower East Side
50-something woman: I haven't seen a good pimpmobile since the seventies. I mean, what happened to all the purple, maroon, and gold? What is all of this crap with yellow hummers and black Escalades these days, it's like all the pimps went to finishing school sometime in 1981.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Graham Davis
Guy in business casual: Deer, zombies, Nazis… They're all fair game in my book.
Friend: I've never been hunting before, but I do like fishing.
–73rd St
Overheard by: Irish Dave
Guy #1, shocked, and loud: Wow, so it fills your whole body with sperm?!
Guy #2, pondering: You know, I’m not quite sure how it works.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Pt Photo
Guy #1: Yeah, so I failed fourth grade twice.
Guy #2: Hmm…
Guy #1: They said I cheated on a test, but I didn’t, but they still failed me.
Guy #2: So did you fail fourth grade twice or did you just repeat fourth grade?
Guy #1: Oh, I have no idea.
–92nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Shanon H.
Buff guy #1: So she was like “I wanna suck you.”
Buff guy #2: Wait…like your dick, suck you, or something else?
–F Train
Opera Fan: Well the best thing about it is, he’s the closest thing we have to a castrato today.
–UES
