Guy visiting mother at new office: Man…I've been in jail cells bigger than this.
Mother, to coworkers: He really means that.
–Fordham University
Guy visiting mother at new office: Man…I've been in jail cells bigger than this.
Mother, to coworkers: He really means that.
–Fordham University
Girl, loudly and enthusiastically: Everything I say is a joke!
–City Bakery, 18th St
Girl to guy: What's so funny? Did you fart?
–W 96th & Broadway
Overheard by: Megan W.
Santa, chasing scared teen: Do you think it's funny to throw things at people's heads? How about I break your face?
–42nd St
Girl: I'm really excited that, like, within our lifetime, there are gonna be funny movies about Obama.
–Manhattan Theatre Source
Overheard by: Emily B.
Laughing girl on phone: Come on, please! Please! Just take off your clothes and take pictures! (pause) Come on, mom, it would be so funny!
–Union Square
20-something skater guy to another: And then I started whackin' off, and it was hilarious.
–Broadway & E 10th St
Overheard by: Timothy
Elderly woman to Bulldog: If you were human, you would be a male model.
–44th & 3rd
Female on phone, trying to be discrete: I could take a million pictures without makeup and I could make it on the cover of Vogue. I am telling you I just want a model agent to come up to me and say "you are gorgeous, I want you to model." I know I have what it takes!
–Outside Bobst Library
Overheard by: V Liebs
Scrawny short dude: You know, I like the model-type chicks.
–Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Jon A.
Battery Park city mom, about son: He's not even four and he can earn as much from one commercial as he can from a year of modeling.
–World Trade Centre Plaza
Girl walking around with a camera: People get so awkward when you're carrying around a camera. Come on people! Give me something I can use here! You are all models!
–44th & Lexington
Overheard by: apparently a model
Drawing professor: I'm not allowed to sleep with the models.
–Pratt Institute
Middle aged white woman on cell: I did not call you a scumbag, but you are a scumbag.
–3rd Ave & 85th
Overheard by: Guy Walking
Street youth to another: Nigga, you got a face like a hologram!
–159th St & Ft. Washington
Girl: Yeah, she was like, "Oh my god! Did you see what this guy was wearing?" Please, she should go to a state school, because it sounds like that's where she belongs.
–NYU
Girl to boyfriend, during fight: You're like an empty Christmas present!
–16th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Lizzie
Guy on cell: Well, that's one way of looking at it, but could it be possible that you just suck as a person, and it was really all your fault?
–N Train
Overheard by: Shock-E
Asian guy #1: Dude, the Wii is so much better than the Cube.
Asian guy #2: No, the Cube is so much better!
Asian guy #3: Yeah, the Cube has so much more power, and the dynamics of the graphics…
Asian guy #2, interrupting: The graphics! They are soooo awesome!
Asian guy #1: Hey, guys? Why are we talking about video games?
Asian guy #3: Because we're boys.
Asian guy #2: Nah…because we're Asian.
Asian guy #3: Dude, if I could be Colossus it would be sooo cool, cuz I wouldn't have to wear my glasses anymore!
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: Emma
Headline by: Doc Dan
Runners-Up:
· “And Have an Undersized Metal Penis!” – Patrick
· “Every Asian Girl´s Parents´ Wet Dream!” – Ria
· “It Was at This Moment Kim Jong-il Selected His Son to Be His Successor” – What about NES?
· “Somewhere, the Mutant Sunspot Is Gently Weeping” – wirrrn
Black guy wearing North Face: Listen up, people! I'ma need some money to buy a coat, cuz it's freezin out there! This coat that I'm wearin' ain't mine, it's my friend's. So I'ma need some money to buy a coat…yo, what stop is this?
Asian kid: Times Square.
Black guy: Okay…if you want to donate, you can't. Cause I gotta go, man.
–1 Train
Hyper kid to mom, loudly: Where is my veggie soup!? (repeats it several times)
Grumpy old dude: Shut the fuck up, kid!
(general laughter)
–Deli, 57th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: gunnarsix
Girl: Ohhhh, this is the building that King Kong climbed up, right?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: Wow. That would have been so scary to live here when that happened!
–In Line for Elevator at Empire State Building
Overheard by: Bella
White dude to black friend: Do you want to see my meat?
Asian dude, to no one in particular: You know, the stereotype isn't true. It isn't true!
Flustered party hostess: This is so not what I need to hear right now.
–W 11th St
