(teenagers are packing into a crowded subway car where a tiny, ancient-looking bag lady is panhandling)
Woman trying to be helpful: Hey, hey, slow down, careful–there's an old lady you people are gonna knock down!
Bag lady, shouting irately: I'm not old, motherfucker!
–S Train
Overheard by: P. nut
Guy #1: Oh my god, dude!
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: I just lost the game.
Guy #2: Faggot!
–Hudson & Leroy
Overheard by: Jason Smith
Headline by: David S
Runners-Up:
· “After Every Game in the Detroit Lions Locker Room” – PeterG
· “It’s All in the Wrist.” – Coyoty
· “Thanks Overheard, Now We’ve All Lost! Http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Game_(mind_game)” – Jen
· “This Is the Last Time Bob Played Homo / No Homo” – BabakganoosH
· “Well, the Game WAS “Only Hit on the Girls”…” – Punzie
Cabbie, as man opens passenger-side door: Wait. I am not mentally prepared for this!
–W 50th
Cabbie on cell: Hello? I’m going to beat you up… ‘Cause I want to!
–23rd & Lex
Exasperated cabbie: Why is there a house driving down Delancey Street?
–Delancey & Chrystie
Overheard by: Les Chinatown
Cabbie on cell: No, no, it is not possible. I cannot possibly be back in the city by then — I am at the airport…I could maybe make it back into the city to see you in, like, two hours if traffic isn’t bad in the Bronx. Man, the airport is really packed today.
–99th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Laughing in the back
Cabbie, after getting cut off by another: Goddamn cabbies.
–30th & 5th
Black guy with bags, bumping into Hispanic woman: Don't gimme that look, not my fault, not my fuckin' fault! (Hispanic woman just glares) Look at me again and I'll fuck you in the ass!
–53rd St & 5th Ave
Man on cell, authoritatively: Ejaculate!
–14th b/w 3rd & 4th
Mother to curious little girl reaching out to touch Wall Street bull's testicles: No! (yanks her away)
–Bowling Green
Woman shouting across a grassy field: Slutbots!
–McCarren Park, Brooklyn
(intercom beeps 10 times)
Train conductor, over intercom: Shit.
(intercom continues to beep)
–Hudson Line Train
Man on bike speeding along Brooklyn Bridge walkway: Pussyhoooollleeeeee!
–Brooklyn Bridge
Quiet, older gentleman sipping coffee, leafing through newspaper: Motherfuckers!
–Barnes & Noble Coffee Bar, Broadway
Overheard by: Suze V
Columbia grad student: …developing a really spectacular
sense of intellectual arrogance.
–Columbia University
Professor, receiving text message in class: Ooh. That’s interesting. Invitation to go dancing, not from my girlfriend. Thank God I’ve got permission… We’re never going to get to anything today, are we? I’m so bad at this…
–Tisch School of the Arts, NYU
Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson
Chinese professor: You see Chinese like tofu, you never use it.
–John Jay College
Overheard by: soccerking3t
Teen guy: So I ended up in a dress. I don’t think English class will ever be the same.
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Natasha
Sadistic professor: Unfortunately we don’t flog people anymore. You usually pass out after you finish screaming.
–Fordham, the Bronx
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Drunken pre-med to drunken boy teetering on a concrete railing: Reed, if you fall, I’m not a doctor yet!
–West Village, 8th & 14th
Overheard by: annie
NYU girl to professor: So, if you’re sleeping with Nietzsche, you shouldn’t ask the question, "What are you thinking?"
–NYU classroom, Mercer & Houston
Trashy Jersey bimbo, looking around the room: I've made out with almost everyone in here.
Trashy Jersey dude: You're a slut!
–10th & 18th
Thug, cradling very small pit bull puppy: Oh man, I can't be bothered to train him to be tough. He's gonna be a cuddly mothafucka.
Girl, cradling different puppy: Word.
–L Train
(Asian tourist walks onto subway with large panda-head shaped hat)
Random guy: Take off that silly ass hat!
–Uptown 1 Train
Guy: When I wear my other coat, I look like a yak.
–Mott St
Overheard by: robin
Thug to friend: I totally know fashion designers. I know who Hill-finger is.
–Thompson Street, SoHo
Drunk guy to orthodox Jew: Nice lid.
–Near Herald Square
Guy walking out of subway: Then she came in and told me to put the mask on.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Sarah
History teacher to class: Now, if you want a decent straw hat, do not make one.
–Millennium High School
Overheard by: Adriana
Young Hasidim selling menorahs: Are you Jewish?
Old WASP lady in fur coat, disgusted: What kind of question is that?!
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: Afrocurl
