Little girl in men's room stall: Daddy, someone peed on the seat.
Dad: No, it's fine, honey.
Little girl: Daddy, someone peed on the seat!
Dad: It's fine, just go.
Little girl: Daddy, I peed on the seat.
–LaGuardia Airport
Little girl in men's room stall: Daddy, someone peed on the seat.
Dad: No, it's fine, honey.
Little girl: Daddy, someone peed on the seat!
Dad: It's fine, just go.
Little girl: Daddy, I peed on the seat.
–LaGuardia Airport
Woman #1: Your baby doesn't have shoes on!
Woman #2: He doesn't need shoes, he's part Indian.
–Madison Square Garden
Girlfriend: I want to have four kids and live in Nantucket, is that too much to ask?
Not-so-much-anymore boyfriend: Ugh… Please, don't talk to me about this now.
Girlfriend: Why? What's so wrong with having a life goal with you?
Not-so-much-anymore boyfriend: Because we are 14.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Anna
Girl #1: I hated Anne frank.
Girl #2: Yeah, she was such a baby.
–Fashion Institute of Technology
Overheard by: Christiaan
Hyper five-year-old boy #1, shocked: And in France, men kiss each other! On the cheek!
Hyper five-year-old boy #2, mumbling: Wow, I wish I was French.
Hyper five-year-old boy #1, puzzled: Wait, what?
Hyper five-year-old boy #2, disgruntled, sighing: Nothing.
–Coldstone Creamery
Overheard by: Kat
Loud woman on cell: And then he had the nerve to ask me if it was cause he's black! I was like, "it's not cause you're black, it's cause you slept with that stripper!"
–Starbucks
Midwestern grandmother, seeing granddaughter play on subway: She's working on her pole dancing, just like her mother.
–E Train
Young Asian guy, telling stripper what he does for a living: Do you even know what a hedge fund is?
–Strip Club, Queens
Thug to girlfriend, pointing at totem pole in museum: You know what those be? Fancy stripper poles! (makes techno music noise with his mouth)
–Museum of Natural History
Blonde chick on cell: Oh my god, Mike, just fuck her and get over yourself, I really don't care! (hangs up, to friend) I don't understand why my boyfriend keeps calling me asking me if it would break my heart if he slept with the stripper we met at the bar on Saturday.
–NYU
Overheard by: i wish i had me a girl like that
Serious, tired, cute guy on cell: So you remember the stripper that has been hassling me? Well, I went out with her and her girlfriend on Tuesday, and stuff got out of hand… really out of hand–like Budapest out of hand! (pause) I don't know, but I woke up in fucking New York City!
–Penn Station
Little girl: Mom?
Helicopter mother: Yes, honey? Are you all right? Are the trains too noisy for you?
Little girl: Mom, guess what?
Helicopter mother: What is it, sweetie pie?
Little girl: Mom, I have a vagina!
Helicopter mother: (opens mouth in shock)
–South Ferry Train Station
Overheard by: ABrooklynBaby'sNanny
Hyper small child: I like standing up!
Sitting harried mother: Great.
Small child: Look! I'm twirling!
Harried mother: That's wonderful.
Small child: I know all about the world!
Harried mother: You are very smart.
Small child: I know all about science! I know all about geishas!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Sarah
