Gangster kid to female friend: I don't care. I ain't goin' there early. Ain't nobody care.
Friend: But you have a test!
Gangster kid: I'm the sexiest guy in my bio class, so I can do whatever the hell I want!
–Marshak Building, City College
Gangster kid to female friend: I don't care. I ain't goin' there early. Ain't nobody care.
Friend: But you have a test!
Gangster kid: I'm the sexiest guy in my bio class, so I can do whatever the hell I want!
–Marshak Building, City College
Mother to small child: Well, the weather's nice today, so it's a good afternoon to go to the park, play on the playground, go on the swings, or attack daddy. (pause) Or…you know, whatever else you feel like doing.
–Gramercy
Overheard by: Max
Fancy woman waking out of building, on cell, during snow squall: It's either snow or debris. I can't tell.
–Grand Army Plaza
Overheard by: snow. trust me.
Five-year-old girl: It's snowing way too much in Columbus Circle! Fuck! I am going to file a complaint!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: queenofscots
Older hot guy: It's as cold as a drunken French whore in the old Bastille days!
–W 4th St
Woman to neighbor: Hey, girl, do you see this snow? It's the end of the world!
(pause) Have a great day!
–140th St & Amsterdam
Young boy to dad: Dad, I am still really concerned about that ghost we saw earlier.
Dad to boy: It was just your grandmother, I've told you!
–Sunset Park, Brooklyn
Jersey man, describing doughnuts to his daughter: And this one has so much chocolate…so much chocolate it will turn your skin brown!
Brown-skinned employee: Um, that's not true.
Jersey man: Look at this guy! He used to be Swedish!
–The Doughnut Plant
Mother: Honey, are you done going potty?
Three-year-old daughter: Meeeeahh oooh gruuuu.
Mother: Are you speaking whale again?
–Bathroom, Barnes & Noble, Park Slope
Overheard by: mmk
Little boy to random man: I'm going to go see South Pacific with my daddy.
Random man: That's something you don't say in public!
–Times Square
Nanny to four-year-old: Please stop screaming, you are going to give me a headache!
(pause)
Four-year-old: I had a headache once!
–Upper West Side Elevator
Little girl reading bar sign: Mom, what's a Stumble Inn?
Mom: It's a restaurant.
Little girl: Is it like Stumbelina?
Dad: Yeah, Thumbelina's drunk sister.
–2nd Ave & 76th St
Eight-year-old Russian boy, in Martin Luther King voice: I had a dream, that one day…I pooped. (giggles)
–Q Ttrain
Overheard by: Robert G.
Drunk bro on phone: I know I'm not the guy you fuck in the shower, but can I shit on your chest?
–Fordham University
Woman on cell: There's no law against defecation.
–3rd Ave & 10th St
Overheard by: SophieMed
Man whispering into cell: I'm going to have to take a number two while we're talking.
–Sunshine Suites
Young man on cell: We're in the ticket line. Are you still pooping?
–Castle Clinton
Overheard by: B Fraz
20-something guy to friends: When I poop on something, I want someone to notice!
–Bushwick, Brooklyn
Overheard by: I prefer to flush
