Mother to young son: If daddy asks you why mommy's upset with him, you say it's because he doesn't take care of her.
Young son: I ain't saying nothing.
–B Train
Mother to young son: If daddy asks you why mommy's upset with him, you say it's because he doesn't take care of her.
Young son: I ain't saying nothing.
–B Train
Young girl: How old are you?
22 year-old girl: I'm 22.
Young girl: And you're pregnant!
22 year-old girl: No I'm not.
Young girl: Why do you have a big belly then?
22 year-old girl: Well you know, when you're my age, hormonal and stuff, you'll get fat. People will think you're pregnant when you're not, and you'll cry. So you'll eat tons of salads to make the belly disappear but it won't work and you'll be sad. That's all life's about. Don't grow up.
–A Train
Overheard by: Violette
Suit on cell: You're stupid enough to swallow a condom but you're smart enough to know you can sue someone.
–69th & York
Overheard by: Eugene
Attractive tall Asian chick with purple hair on cell: There's no way I would be compatible with someone so much smarter than me.
–Joralemon & Columbia, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Awesome Mother Fucker
Effeminate young man to lady friend: I think you're street smart when nobody tells you you're street smart.
–C train
Father to son: You are so smart. You are going to be the leader of a cult someday.
–Thompson & Spring
Six-year-old girl, with mace in hand: Look, mommy! A mace! Now I can hit unicorns and make them bleed. Death to unicorns!
Mom: That's great, honey.
–8th Ave & Carroll St
Mom to nine-year-old son: Do you want anything?
Kid, looking at variety of candy: Mmmmmm, let me see, something no one will like, so I don't get bullied for it at school.
–Deli, Hicks St & Kane, Brooklyn
(conductor closes subway doors on relatively empty train, preventing a throng of people from boarding)
3-year-old girl: Mommy, why did he do that?
Mother: Because he's mean!
–1 Train
Overheard by: M
Mother to yelling six-year-old son: Alright, that's it. You are not getting a gold star today.
Six-year-old son: I know, I've been bad all day!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: me too!
Three-year-old: Dad, it's raining!
Dad: You're three years old. You don't even know what rain is.
–1st Ave & 4th St
Teacher, holding up bag with four apples: Okay kids, how much does this weigh?
Really enthusiastic child: Twenty one pounds!
Teacher: Umm…okay. You think 21 pounds. Right. Anyone else?
–Lincoln Center
Middle aged black woman on cell: Does your mother know we're married yet?
–Forever 21, Union Square
Overheard by: Sophie
2nd grader: See! This is what happens when a man marries another man! They get divorced!
–22nd & Lexington
Angry man to woman: They just had to get fucking married two days before fucking Christmas!
–Century 21
Overheard by: Amina
Dejected guy, slumping on stairs: Will you marry me?
–11th St & b/w University Place & Broadway
Overheard by: Alex Bailey
Guy on phone: She already said yes, so I don't have to get her a ring, right? (pause) Well, why do I have to get her a ring if she already said yes?
–18th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Jessica Bergin
