Small child: I’m going to bite you, mom!
Mom: No, wait till we get off the train.
–1 Train
Small child: I’m going to bite you, mom!
Mom: No, wait till we get off the train.
–1 Train
(mom yelling at six-year-old son playing with several magazines)
Mom: Eric, let’s go now!
Eric: But Mom, I want one!
Mom: For Christ’s sake! Just take one and let’s go.
(Eric takes Gay Life)
Mom: Your father is going to kill you.
–80th & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Schatz
Young girl: Mom, I don’t want to go to ballet!
Mother: Sweetie, you have to. I paid four hundred dollars for one lesson. If you think you’re gonna back out of this now…
Young girl: But mom, the teacher touches me!
Mother: Well, damn it, he can touch you as much as he wants for the four fucking hundred dollars I spend every week!
–60th St & 4th, Brooklyn
Overheard by: kristen
10-year-old little brother: And then there was this huge fight on an armored train.
20-something big brother: Wait, are you sure it was a train?
10-year-old little brother: Yeah, it was an armored train that had guns, and bombs, and fireworks.
20-something big brother: Are you sure it wasn’t a truck? I saw that movie and it was a truck.
10-year-old little brother: Nope, it was a train.
20-something big brother: You didn’t see the movie, did you? You just had someone tell you about it, right?
10-year-old little brother: Yeah…
–1 Train
Overheard by: EthanK
Petulant child: Speed walking is boring! I want to be myself!
–1st Ave & 5th St
Awkward teen boy to friend: It was really boring until I got laid.
–66th & Broadway
Chick on cell: How is pantylessness ever boring?
–113th b/w Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Young art history teacher: So basically, I like to lecture the whole first class and bore the hell out of them. That way, everything I say afterwards is interesting!
–74th & Madison
Overheard by: Erin Partridge
Short girl to lab partner: Sometimes, when I’m bored, I become a tuning fork. (slowly hits herself on the head) Diiiing!
–Chemistry Lab, Stuyvesant High School
Hobo: Man, if you wanna get into heaven, you gotta talk to black people. They know where they at. Can’t get into heaven if you don’t talk to black people.
–Statue of Liberty
Bimbette on cell: So she is like pregnant? Like she is gonna have a baby? Hey, whatever happened to that black family?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Bigg Rigg
NYU grad student: Bill Clinton isn’t black to me anymore.
–NYU
Black couple to group of white people: We’re black! We’re invisible!
–W 4th St
Overheard by: mada
White grandpa to white granddaughter in playground: Black kids have so much fun!
–Union Square Park
Spastic little brother: NAMBLA?
Patient older brother: No.
Spastic little brother: NAMBLA.
Patient older brother: Stop it.
Spastic little brother: NAMBLA!
–22nd St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Flynn
Kid #1, sharing iPod with kid #2: Hey, it’s the CSI song!
Kid #2: (laughs) Yeah.
Kid #1: It’s like we’re secret agents!
Kid #2: (laughs) No.
Kid #1: Yeah! It is.
Kid #2: No… It’s like, we’re stoners on the subway listening to The Who.
–F Train
Little boy: Is it garbage or is it presents? Is it garbage or is it presents?
Mom: If you aren’t quiet, whatever is in the bags now will be garbage.
Little boy: [Silence.]Mom: Uh huh… That’s called logic.
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Mother pleading with squirmy four-year-old son in tight jacket: Just keep it on for the time being.
Son: I hate the time being.
–Christmas Mass, St Patrick’s
