Stringy black jazz singer #1, watching BBW woman squeezed into barbie-pink tiny jeans: Damn!!!
Stringy black jazz singer #2: Oh mah gawddd!
Stringy black jazz singer #1: Daaaaaammmnnnn!!!
Stringy black jazz singer #2: Ooooooohh maaaahhh gaaaawwwwwddddd!
–Washington Square Arch
Jersey girl: Oh. My. Gawd. Where is that accent from? It's sexy.
B&T guy: It's from Queens, baby!
–Broadway & Lafayette
Overheard by: Alaina
Serious guy to another: See these hands? These are my bread and butter!
–Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: Hi-D
Well-dressed 25-year-old on phone: Yes. (pause) Please spare me the placenta. (pause) Okay, well, as long as it's clean.
–Key Foods
Woman on cell: So, she doesn't think her body is going to be ready by then?
–32nd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Publius
Man on cell: I wish I could just take my legs off. That would be so much easier.
–45th St & Ave of the Americas
Loud chick: Yeah, I'm still taking French classes. Last week we did commands, and this week we're learning, like, body parts.
–Hudson St
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
20-something girl on cell: But I have several heads…
–Metro-North Rail
Three-year-old boy to punk girl in black fishnets, as he pokes though holes: Um… why is your legs trapped?
–Thompkins Square Park
Columbia student #1: She had a sex change. Or wait–what do you call it?
Columbia student #2: No–she came out.
Columbia student #1: Yeah, she came out. She speaks all these languages–Spanish, Italian, Brazilian…
–1 Train
Overheard by: Kyla
Indian woman: You can't say “Paki”! You just can't!
Italian man: What about “Paki-bashing”?
Indian woman: Absolutely not! And you certainly can't say it in a fake Indian accent! You know, you need to take a sensitivity course. Just for you.
Irish man: Yeah, you wop!
–28th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Guy #1: And then I said, “bitch, I speak crazy too!”
Guy #2: Damn right!
–42nd St
Overheard by: Doesn't speak crazy
Girlfriend: Learn anything new today?
Boyfriend: How to say “sexual offender” in Japanese!
–Central Park
Overheard by: lynn
Student, referring to pinus: Wait, does that actually mean “penis”?
Latin teacher: No. But once I made a joke about penises in a paper in college and my teacher wrote, “never do this”.
(class laughs)
Latin teacher: So guys, don't play with your penises!
–Bard High School Early College
Overheard by: Theseus
Student: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving, monsieur?
NYU French professor, with heavy French accent: Bien sûr! I'm as American as apple pie!
–NYU Classroom
Loud bar patron, reading new item on menu: Anybody know what artisan cheese is? Anybody at all? (mutters) Shit man, this is Astoria, we don't know no artisan cheese.
–Astoria
Overheard by: Jesse
Guy: He said "when you cum yourself." I looked at him and said "that is not how you say that."
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Jill
Girl to friend: So, you see, I was right! It's spelled w-h-e-r-e!
–McDonald's
Guy: And stop trying to rhyme words with other words.
–16th St & 8th Ave
Guy to girl: I am really into words, especially long ones. I love them, and like, collect them. There is a word for people like that, but it's pretty long, so I can't remember it.
–Q Train
Overheard by: Eavesdropper
Lady: He doesn't speak English good, so he gots deported.
–Park Slope
