Mother: I'm very angry with you.
Daughter in stroller: You don't love me!
Mother: No, I can love you, but still be angry with you.
Daughter in stroller: That does not make sense.
–18th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Not gay in chelsea
Mother: I'm very angry with you.
Daughter in stroller: You don't love me!
Mother: No, I can love you, but still be angry with you.
Daughter in stroller: That does not make sense.
–18th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Not gay in chelsea
Bimbette: So my cat jumps into my bed last night, like he always does, and he snuggles up next to me and all that, and as I'm petting him, I think, “I know he loves me 'cause I take care of him and everything… but does he also think I'm pretty?” You know?
Friend: (silence)
Bimbette: I really hope he thinks I'm pretty. I mean, like, compared to the other humans he's met. Right?
Friend: You are a) a total narcissist; b) totally creepy; or c) both. I'm leaning towards c).
–Starbucks, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Unfortunately, he's just using you for food.
Drunk chick #1, as she looks in the mirror: Hey guys!
Drunk chicks #2, #3, #4, and #5, in unison: Yeahhhh?
Drunk chick #1: I can't wait to go home and have sex with Cody* tonight! I love him so much!
Drunk chicks #2, #3, #4, and #5, in unison: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Drunk chick #1, truly forlorn: But I have my period!
Drunk chicks #2, #3, #4, and #5, in unison: Ewwwwwwwwwwww!
Drunk chick #1: It's okay. He's dumb. He won't know the difference.
Drunk chicks #2, #3, #4, and #5, in unison: Yayyyyy!
–Ladies' Room, Lotus, W 14th St
Overheard by: Uhm…
Woman to man she just met: I live in Brooklyn, and I'm on my way to see my man in the Bronx. My mother said to me, “must be some kinda love if you travel all the way to the Bronx for a man!”
Man: Uh-huh! That's right! It's got to be good lovin', too!
Woman: You know what I'm saying? Don't talk to me 'bout no headache, 'cause I can't do this everyday!
–1 Train
Ghetto dad to little boy wearing knight's helmet: I don't know who the fuck's son you are, but I love you.
Little boy, muffled through helmet: I luf you do!
–3rd Ave & 9th St
Father to son: Son, I love you, fuckface!
Son to father: I love you too.
–37th & 4th
Overheard by: Jonas Puer
Girl: What have you been up to, Stephanie?
Stephanie: Oh, I work at an assisted living in Dedham.
Girl: Oh, I know that one. I have a funny story about…
Stephanie: Oh?
Girl: And by “funny story” I mean that I'm in love with your coworker's ex.
Stephanie: Wow!
Girl: Hey, does this look like a mosquito bite or a hive?
–Columbus Circle
Girl on phone: I'm so sick of this! He keeps making excuses not to see me! I feel like I'm being used! (pause) No, really. (pause) I just can't deal anymore! We only hang out when he wants sex! (pause) And his excuses! Ohmigod! They are getting so lame. (pause) If it's not his work or boss, it's his nanny or his wife or his kid. (pause) I mean… what's his deal?
–Broadway & 20th St
Overheard by: Cali in NYC
Hispanic woman: And meanwhile the husband is in fucking Iraq, and she cheats on him with the UPS guy! What can brown do for you!
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Suit on cell: The love, the dirty sex, and the money… It's all going so well, and yet so sneaky. (hangs up, then dials another number) Mary, I think he's finding out… (pause) It's not my fault I am fucking my best friend's wife.
–79th St & Madison
Overheard by: Anna
Girl yapping on cell: It was amazing. I mean, I looked hot. (pause) Yes, I wore the naked dress. He took one look at me and had the "Uh-oh, can't control myself" expression. (pause) No, girl, his fucking wife is in town! I mean, whatever.
–51st St & Lexington Ave
Woman: He cheated… On JDate!
–26th & 8th
Nine-year-old boy to mother, forlornly: In five days, it will be two weeks since we last ate in a restaurant.
–75th & Amsterdam
Jewish girl with heavy New York accent: So when we went to the South we ate at a waffle house, aka the most amazing experience ever! Everyone there was missing at least two teeth!
–Baruch College
Overheard by: kteezy
Man on cell: What the fuck was in that Chipotle last night?
–Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: Steve
Preppy teenage boy to friend: Dude, so then I took her to Applebee's. She thought it was so romantic–like "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" status.
–Hunter
Overheard by: Hakuna Matata
Eight-year-old girl to eight-year-old friend: You see, I love him, but I can't make that kind of commitment right now.
–Carroll Gardens
Lone suit, shaking fists in air: Why do fools fall in love?!
–Wall Street
Overheard by: poisonivy
Woman to neighbor, shouting out of the window: She's an idiot! She knows the man's a fucking bullshit artist, and she's in love with him!
–Hoffman St & 187th
Inebriated, tattooed man on cell: You fuckin' love me?! You fuckin' know what? That's fuckin' unreal, you know why?! Because you fuckin' don't!
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: Cara
Sallow, skinny, melancholy tattooed dude: Looking for love in all the wrong places… That's why I was after her ass.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
