Guy #1: So what should we get him for his birthday?
Guy #2: I don’t know….what about a menorah?
Guy #1: What? But it’s not Hannukah.
Guy #2: Yeah, but he’s Jewish. And his room is dark.
–Union Square
Overheard by: curious
Guy #1: So what should we get him for his birthday?
Guy #2: I don’t know….what about a menorah?
Guy #1: What? But it’s not Hannukah.
Guy #2: Yeah, but he’s Jewish. And his room is dark.
–Union Square
Overheard by: curious
Guy #1: So, I had this dream about Janet Jackson last night.
Guy #2: Yeah?
Guy #1: She told me, “Mitch, get your shit together”.
–9th Street & 1st Avenue
Construction guy: Can’t we move this line a little faster? This line isn’t moving anywhere. What’s with this line?
Lady: Here, you can go ahead of me.
Construction guy: I’m using humor, lady. This is just humor. I’m not serious here. [Gets in front of her in line.]
–4th St
Overheard by: the girl who fainted at Starbucks
Guy #1 peeing in urinal moans loudly.
Guy #2 peeing in urinal: You ok, man?
Guy #1 peeing in urinal: God, I should have used a condom!
–28th & 10th, Crobar
Teen guy: Everyone’s out to get me; that guy just gave me the dirtiest look.
Teen girl: You retard, that guy was blind.
–81st & 5th
Overheard by: Chelsea Bridge
Guy #1: Man, what’s wrong with your eye? It’s all red.
Guy #2: Nah, man, I’m just tired, that’s all.
Guy #1: You’re tired in one eye?
–116th & Lexington
Overheard by: Sam J. Miller
Girl: Damn, when my grandmother see me in this, she gone have a strizzoke!
–Filene’s Basement, Union Square
Geek #1: I mean, who knew that Mickey Rourke could act?
Geek #2: Dude, yeah! I mean, he’s no Steve Guttenberg.
–Forbidden Planet, 13th Street
Girl in stall: Oh, shit, I dropped my phone in the toilet!
The phone rings.
Girl in stall: And how the hell am I supposed to answer that now?!
–2nd Ave Deli bathroom
Overheard by: Rue Silver
Hobo: Can you help me get something to eat?
Guy: Yeah, I got a slingshot in my bag. You prefer pigeon, rat, or squirrel?
–Christopher & 7th
Overheard by: Colin
