Little girl: Are we going to Manhattan to the big shopping mall place?
Dad: You’ve spent enough money. We’re going to Manhattan and riding in a cab!
–Amtrak to Penn Station
Overheard by: Erica
Little girl: Are we going to Manhattan to the big shopping mall place?
Dad: You’ve spent enough money. We’re going to Manhattan and riding in a cab!
–Amtrak to Penn Station
Overheard by: Erica
Salesguy #1: Dude, I think I smell or something…
Salesguy #2: You smell like the robust combination of onions and poop.
–The Puma Store, Broadway & Spring
Overheard by: Jeeps
Man: I can’t leave my door unlocked in the Barrio. Someone might sneak in and steal all my spices.
–42nd & Ditmars, Astoria
Man on cell: Now why the fuck would you go and eat my ravioli? Dat’s mine!
–42nd & Lex
Overheard by: Danny
Black tween girl: And that nigga bitch Rihanna thinks she can do ballet? Shit! I can do ballet. The only thing I ever seen that nigga do right is eat fried chicken.
–Q train
Overheard by: kb
Woman: I mean, I would have loved rice. We all would have loved rice.
–8th St between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: Jaya
Chick: The other day I ate a hot dog, and it had a bone in it. I don’t know what animal they make hot dogs out of, but I’m pretty sure they don’t have bones.
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: seth kleinman
Girl: Food is like candy.
–92nd & Broadway
Shrewd observer: He is either in the Army or chews a lot of gum.
–Ludlow & Rivington
Overheard by: pete Lanpr
Lady: There ain’t no way I’m standing in front of a stove all day making tuna salad. It’s fucking hot!
–104th & Broadway
Overheard by: Fatty McFingers
Queer: Oh my God, cottage cheese is albino diarrhea.
–City Diner, 90th & Broadway
Man to child in stroller: What do you want? You want money? Do you want money or a bagel?
–Absolut Bagels, 108th & Broadway
Overheard by: another jew
Chick on cell: …No, not years of porn, ears of corn! Corn, like you eat!
–Ding Dong’s, 106th & Columbus
Overheard by: Jas
Passionate woman: I just love egg white! It’s like painting to me! The texture, the smell…
–17th & Broadway
Overheard by: Shivvers
Pringles lover: Yeah, he’s, like, all that minus the bag of chips.
–14th St between 5th & 6th
Overheard by: the chips
Big black dude: So tell me, how much would it cost to get a huuuuge jar of mayonnaise, outta state?
–Uptown 5 train
Teen girl #1: No, I don’t think I’ll be buying a chocolate vagina.
Teen girl #2: Why not?! It tastes like chocolate but looks like a vagina!
Teen girl #1: Okay… maybe.
–45th & Broadway
Tourist: Wow, it’s like a whole underground city thing here!
Local: I dont know any freaks who would want to live in a city like this.
–Times Square subway station
Overheard by: LSB
Guy #1: So what should we get him for his birthday?
Guy #2: I don’t know….what about a menorah?
Guy #1: What? But it’s not Hannukah.
Guy #2: Yeah, but he’s Jewish. And his room is dark.
–Union Square
Overheard by: curious
Guy #1: So, I had this dream about Janet Jackson last night.
Guy #2: Yeah?
Guy #1: She told me, “Mitch, get your shit together”.
–9th Street & 1st Avenue
Construction guy: Can’t we move this line a little faster? This line isn’t moving anywhere. What’s with this line?
Lady: Here, you can go ahead of me.
Construction guy: I’m using humor, lady. This is just humor. I’m not serious here. [Gets in front of her in line.]
–4th St
Overheard by: the girl who fainted at Starbucks
Guy #1 peeing in urinal moans loudly.
Guy #2 peeing in urinal: You ok, man?
Guy #1 peeing in urinal: God, I should have used a condom!
–28th & 10th, Crobar
Teen guy: Everyone’s out to get me; that guy just gave me the dirtiest look.
Teen girl: You retard, that guy was blind.
–81st & 5th
Overheard by: Chelsea Bridge
