Manhattan

Hottie: …and then I want to tell them: less gooch, more cooch.

–DtUt, LES

Overheard by: e. glass

HS kid: My friend’s dad can blow smoke stars.

–Columbus Circle

NYU student to another: I haven't been drinking as much since I turned 21.

–Duane Reade

Overheard by: Rogelio

College girl to friend: I wasn't drunk, I was just cheerful.

–Canal St & Mott St

20-something girl on cell: He was drunk and fucking his demon ex-girlfriend.

–181 & Ft. Washington

Guy in dirty army clothes to another: I was still drunk, thank god Dunkin' Donuts was open.

–D Train

Middle aged guy on cell: That's what happens when you drink, motherfucker! You can't remember shit!

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Aron

Man #1: Who asked you?
Man #2: The executive.
Man #1: The executive?
Man #2: The executive.
Man #1: The executive of what?
Man #2: Of what?
Man #1: Yes.
Man #2: Of Batman.

–Manhattan

Guy #1: I really, really hate that guy.
Guy #2: But he's been dead for years.
Guy #1: Yeah, I know. I wish he were alive so I could wish he were dead.

–2nd Ave

30-something guy to friend: It's just like I always say! The Germans should've bombed New York!

–8th St

Guy with rainbow bead necklace, about protesters of Scientology: Nobody gets the point across without explosions.

–Outside Richard Rodgers Theater

Overheard by: Unlucky at Lotto

Man at Yankee parade: C'mon guys! Did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

–Broadway & Murray Street

Overheard by: Kat

Woman: The last time I blew up my nether regions.

–Imperial Theater, 57th

Girl eating falafel: This is the grossest thing I've ever had in my mouth.
Boyfriend: Really? Are you sure?

–1st Ave

Hot girl: So, what star sign are you?
Hot guy: Lepricorn.

–Starbucks, 5th Ave

Overheard by: banditqueen

Out-of-place preppy: Hey, I think that's Grace. Isn't that Grace, dude? Grace! Grace!
Not Grace: Nope, sorry. It's Beth, actually. (keeps walking)
Not Grace's girlfriend: You know, you didn't have to tell them your real name.
Not Grace: I know, I just got excited.

–2nd Ave

Overheard by: Also Not Grace.

Colleague #1: There is a girl in India with four legs.
Colleague #2: She'll be happy. She'll be able to wear more shoes.
Colleague #1: She can run fast.

–Office, Manhattan

Little boy: Daddy, am I a mama's boy?
Perplexed father: No, I don't think so, why do you ask?

–7th Ave

Overheard by: Mel