It's the Great Wednesday One-Liner, Charlie Brown

Subway girl in Halloween costume: I was thinking about going as Rosie the Riveter, but, like, girly Rosie the Riveter. In shorts.

–A Train

Trying-to-be-hip mom: What are vampires wearing this season?

–Halloween Adventure

Group of kids in costume, chanting: We want more candy! We want more candy! No more apples! No more apples!

–35th Ave & 29th St, Astoria

Overheard by: kathcom

Man dressed up as Michael Jackson on Halloween: I'm the King of pop, man! I'll touch your children! I'll hang your baby off a balcony!

–Downtown 6 Train

Late-night Halloween-reveler man with dirty cotton beard: I'm Santa. I'm drunk and I'm angry. Fuck balls. Reindeer balls.

–Downtown 6 train

Guy dressed as Billy Mays, in loud infomercial voice: Billy Mays here! Sick and tired of waiting for NJ Transit? Next time, drive! For the low, low price of $20 per toll! Just $4.69 per gallon!

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: J. Ra

Old man to another, about Halloween: I love young girls who dress up like pussies.

–Soho

Overheard by: Edan

Posted on February 10, 2015
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Astoria, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Food, Fruit, Girls, Guys, Insults, Kids, Men, Moms, Money & Class, Music, Old People, On the Subway, One-liners, Public Transportation, Questions, Robbing the Cradle, Sexuality, Soho, Street, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway, TV, Vagina, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners Won't Go to Brooklyn to Eat

Elderly woman yelling at man looking at map: Where you going? What color is your train? Is it yellow or orange? This train is green. You should get on a red train. (singing) Red, orange, yellow, green, blue. Oh, and brown. Can't forget that. Just don't go to Brooklyn. No. No. No-o-o-o. Not there.

–4 Train

Overheard by: Sunny

Girl on phone: My friend said that's probably why I don't like Brooklyn–because I have the night of the living dead outside my window…

–Amsterdam & 112th

Upper East Side man: If you really want to rough it, go to Brooklyn.

–84th & 2nd

Little girl shouting: Everyone in this entire building is going to Brooklyn!

–Grand Central

Posted on February 8, 2015
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Colors, Columbia University, Death, Directions, Film, Girls, Grand Central, Kids, Men, Old People, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Upper East Side, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Brooklyn's Always Been a Special-Needs Borough

Woman: I don't mean to be mean, but you know, kids who are… underdeveloped mentally?
Man: Oh, retards?
Woman, relieved: Yeah!

–Downtown Brooklyn

Overheard by: Myrtle&Carlton

Posted on February 7, 2015
Brooklyn, Handicaps, Kids, Men, Questions, Retardation, Women

Pepperoni Dreams

Three policemen are talking to a man inside Two Boots Pizza behind the security gate and locked front door, 9 am Sunday morning.

Cop: How did you get in here?
Man: I woke up here in the middle of the night!
Cop: Do you work here?
Man: No!

–Avenue A

Posted on February 7, 2015
Cops, Men, Talking/Convos, Time, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Fair Enough

Skanky woman: If you've got so many phones, why do you never call me?
Skanky man, shouting: Because I'm a drug addict!

–Union Square

Overheard by: dionneloftus

Posted on February 6, 2015
Biotechs, Drugs, Men, Questions, Relationships, Union Square and East Village

A Disturbingly Common Theme

Woman: When I got into college I entered into a world of sausage.
Man: Uh…
Woman: Come on!

–D Train

Overheard by: pop pop

Posted on February 6, 2015
Default, Education, Innuendo, Junk Food & Fast Food, Men, On the Subway, Sexuality, Women, Words

“…and by ‘Fort Lauderdale’, I mean ‘Bayside’.”

Man on cell: I’ll be in Fort Lauderdale in 2 hours, wait for me.

–34th & 8th

Posted on February 5, 2015
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Liars, Lies, Men, On Cell, Time, Travel, U.S. Geography

Not Even an Albino?

Spa Girl: I just want to remind you that for 24 hours after your appointment you can’t have any food or drink with color.
Man: So does that mean that I can’t sleep with a black woman tonight?
Spa Girl: Uh…no! I guess not!

–BriteSmile Spa , 57th & 5th

Overheard by: Jackie Lee

Posted on February 3, 2015
Drinks, Food, Girls, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Race, Sex, Talking/Convos, Time

Seriously, Women's Shoes Are Ridiculous

Man to woman, boarding train together: The next stop is 5th Avenue and Bryant Park. You know, you could've walked two more blocks and you would've been there.
Woman: But two blocks is a lot… I just walked four.

–7 Train

Posted on January 31, 2015
Directions, Men, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Women

Dude, You Got Mad Geezer Skills!

Old man #1, yelling at unstopping cabs: Hey! Hey! Come on!
Old man #2, with cane, hobbles over: No, no! You've gotta use your cane. Like this! (sticks his cane out into the street, a cab stops)
Old man #1: Hey! Next time, I'm bringing my cane!
Old man #2, hobbling away: You're welcome.

–W 57th b/w 9th & 10th

Posted on January 31, 2015
Advice, Cars and Driving, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, Public Transportation, Weirdness

Men