Little girl, pointing at Andy Warhol portrait of Marilyn Monroe: Mommy, who’s that lady?
Mom: That’s Elizabeth Taylor, honey.
Little girl: Oh, hello, Elizabeth.
–The Moderne Hotel, 55th & Broadway
Little girl, pointing at Andy Warhol portrait of Marilyn Monroe: Mommy, who’s that lady?
Mom: That’s Elizabeth Taylor, honey.
Little girl: Oh, hello, Elizabeth.
–The Moderne Hotel, 55th & Broadway
Four-year-old cute tourist girl: Mommy, people are different in New York!
Tourist mom: They’re all fuckin’ crazy.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Natasha G
Little boy: I want a Cinnabon for breakfast!
Dour mom: Now, Matthew, let me ask you a question. How many grams of sugar does a Cinnabon have?
Little boy, dejectedly: Seven.
Dour mom: And how many grams of sugar are you allowed to eat at breakfast?
Little boy: Fiiiive.
Dour mom: Well then, don’t you think… [they go out of hearing range]
–5 Train
Overheard by: Jonathan Harford
Middle-aged man to elderly woman: Mom, he’s such a…I dunno. He told me the same story five times last night.
Elderly woman: Listen, dear: at my age, any man who can walk by himself and pee by himself is a catch.
–Madison Avenue Bus
Overheard by: The New York Crank
Tourist mom, talking extremely loud: Nature means happiness.
Five-year-old son: Why?
Tourist mom: Because nature means life -look at how beautiful nature is.
Five-year-old son: Whoa! Now that’s nature.
Tourist mom: The trees are nice; the road not so much… Look at the sea of trains…
–LIRR
Overheard by: JUSTSHUT UP!
Boy, looking at table full of cheap souvenirs: Hey mom!
Embarrassed mom: No, those are for tourists. We live here!
–Near Trinity Church
Overheard by: amused tourist
[Mother and four-year-old boy walking past liquor store]Mom: So we have to go to Duane Reade and… Oooh! Let’s get some wine.
Boy: Yeah!
–115th & Broadway
Little boy: …I met another girl at school who is Mexican!
Mother: Colombian! We’re Colombian!
–65th & Riverside
Mother, to crying four-year-old trying to grasp her hand: If you don’t stop this behavior you are going to have to see a psychiatrist. [Child keeps at tantrum] This behavior is excessive and abnormal, and I don’t have the patience for it.
–Washington G Station
Stern bimbette: No. My fave dead therapist said that I need to make sure that I surround myself with people who are nice to waiters and their moms.
–Court Street & Joralemon, Brooklyn
NYU chick, calmly: So then I just had a teeny little breakdown!
–West 4th St
Woman on cell: So where are you? [pause] Is that "Therapy" the bar or therapy therapy?
–Manhattan Plaza Gym, 43rd St
Girl on cell: Don’t you think I’m a psycho? [pauses, laughs] Why not?
–Bedford and North 7th
20-something homo: Scientology is just like therapy except without the stigma of therapy.
–52nd & 9th
Overheard by: Trey Givens
African tourist: All New Yorkers are sexy! That’s why I love this city. Everywhere I go, sexy. The cops, the people…
–Broadway & Chambers St.
Metro newspaper guy: Hey sexy man, take a metro and be a lot sexier!
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: Dora Watson
Loud freshman boy, entering cafeteria with more freshmen: And she pinched my nipple, but it was sexy!
–Edward R. Murrow High School
Overheard by: Kris S.
Student commenting on a painting of Mary and Jesus by Raphael: In this painting Mary has a little more of a…I don’t know, sexual aura. Her face is more narrow, I can kind of see her breast. She has her leg bent in a sexy way kind of like saying "I’m not a virgin anymore".
–Columbia University Art Humanities Class
Overheard by: Going to Hell
Skanky mom to three-year-old son: Hey sexy!
–Central Park
Overheard by: riana
Businesswoman to another: Who’s your sexy hoe?
–33rd St & Park
Tween girl with science textbook: You don’t understand cloning? Okay, let me tell you about it. It’s sexy as hell… [later] I stayed after class to get him to teach me about meiosis and it was really hot. I got so horny!
–F Train
