Hee Hee Hee, You Said ‘Wednesday One-Liners’

Woman: See? I’m really good at boning.

–Gavroche, 14th & 7th

Overheard by: the immature restaurant guest

Woman, yelling over to man during downpour: How come every man I date ends up getting me wet?

–Water Club, 500 E 30th

Overheard by: Carolyn

Burly guy: Dude, can you help me get it up?

–Gold’s Gym, 250 West 54th

Teen: I was so thirsty. Anything that went in my mouth, I swallowed.

–LIRR

Overheard by: kaydot

NYU trendoid: I need some nuts, like, hardcore.

–MoMA

Conductor: Please let the passengers get off before pushing on the train. Get them off. Get them off. Get them off fast!

–Manhattan bound L train

Overheard by: Philip

Girl: Ooo! I’ll suck on it with you!

–3rd St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: confused grad student

Posted on September 27, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Getting Off, Girls, Guys, Gyms, MoMA, More museums, Museums, On the Subway, Restaurants & Cafes, Teens, Women

Sir Mix-a-Lot Likes Wednesday One-Liners (And He Cannot Lie)

Museum patron: Tell me the story again about what happened to my bottom?

–Cafeteria, the Met

Woman to misbehaving child: Jamillah Fatima! Do not make me have to make the love connection to your behind on the C train!

–Brooklyn bound C train

Overheard by: ryan

Girl: Man, it’s hotter that 50 butt cracks in here!

–American Apparel, N 6th St, Williamsburg

Idle dreamer: Man…I wish I had, like, 59 butts.

–Apple Store, 5th Ave

Overheard by: i still sell the iPods

Walking VD: I told her straight up I only like her for her ass!

–Kissena Blvd & 71st Ave, Queens

Teen boy: I’m gonna spread your booty cheeks.

–108th & Manhattan

Overheard by: N

Man: Shit, I’ll eat a pig’s ass if they fry it right.

–471 Lincoln Place, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Michael O’Connor

Posted on September 13, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Food, Kids, Moms, More museums, Museums, One-liners, Private Parts, Queens, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Teens, Upper East Side, Violence, Williamsburg

Wednesday One-Liners: Never Too Gay to Play

Sports enthusiast: Man, that guy was queerer than a football bat.

–40th & 6th

Queer enthusiast: My son can play football, but only if he’s gay…Because, well, at least he’d be gay.

–The Cloisters

Posted on August 30, 2006
Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, More museums, Queer guys, Queers, Sports, Times Square, Upper East Side

Apocalypse Now Had an Unwholesome Effect on Jared

Guy: Wow, a head on a stick! That’s so cute.
Girl: We should soo take a picture with it.

–Museum of Natural History

Posted on August 27, 2006
Arts & Letters, Girls, Guys, More museums, Museum of Natural History, People, Topics

Wednesday One-Liners Should Be in a Museum

Teen: What’s the big difference between this and the Holocaust Museum?

–Darwin Exhibit, Museum of Natural History

Overheard by: Doug Gordon

Guy: And he just kept talking about masturbating in the Guggenheim.

–2nd Ave, between 4th & 5th

Overheard by: Bradford

MoMA security guard: No, we just have modern art here.

–MoMA

Overheard by: -=Ed.

Posted on May 17, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Masturbation, MoMA, More museums, Museums, One-liners, Pop Culture, Teens

Yeah, Famous Like…Um…

Chick: I know you’ll think I’m crazy, but I just don’t believe that dinosaurs ever existed.
Guy: What? Well, where do you think those dinosaur bones come from?
Chick: People just make them and put them in the ground and then dig them up so they will be famous.
Guy: I can’t believe you’re serious.

–Museum of Natural History

Overheard by: Kathie Samuelson