Baby, You Can Drive My Wednesday One-Liner

Teenage girl to friends: How many babies can you squish into an oversized Ferrari?

–W 77th & Central Park West

Overheard by: Teddy Nicholas

Bartender: Can you imagine living somewhere where you actually have to drive home after work?

–Vintage Restaurant, Hell's Kitchen

Overheard by: GretaGarbo86

Dude eating lunch with friends: Man, I hate to say it, but I love driving drunk.

–Restaurant, Bleecker & Lafayette

Gay black man to another: First of all, that fender bender you had a block away from your house was not a car accident. My three-car-pile-up was a car accident!

–A Train

Six-year-old to mom: What? An actual person who drinks and drives and she's famous? She's been in movies and she drinks and drives?! What is happening to this world?

–13th St & 5th Ave

Random wannabe thug: Yo, we seen a NYPD car get hit by a harpoon!

–Montgoris Dining Hall, St. John's University

Overheard by: Craig

Posted on March 25, 2009
Accidents, All Wednesday One-Liners, Babies, Bartenders, Black People, Cars and Driving, College, Compare/Contrast, Cops, Drinking & Drunk People, Gangstas, Girls, Guys, Home, Sweet Home, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Movies, On the Subway, One-liners, Queer guys, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Street, Teens, The Village, Thugs, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

The Who Boys?

Young black woman #1: So I had to go to concerts and promote other concerts.
Young black woman #2: What concerts?
Young black woman #1: People you never heard of. Brian Wilson. He used to be with The Beach Boys.

–A Train

Posted on March 23, 2009
Black People, Movies, On the Subway, Questions, Stupidity, Women

I Cheered When His Heart Stopped Going On

Guy #1: I hate to say it, but the guy's a really good actor.
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: I wonder why I said “I hate to say it,” though.
Both: Titanic.

–72nd & Columbus

Posted on March 17, 2009
Gripes, Guys, Movies, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

And Let Him Trim Your Bush

Girl #1: He's just like Edward Scissorhands.
Girl #2: Yeah, he's like, just so awkward. But he's so cute you just want to give him a hug.

–NYU Student Center

Posted on March 16, 2009
Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Hugs, Movies, NYU

Unfortunately, I Mean That Literally

Coworker #1: See any good costumes this weekend?
Coworker #2: Yeah, I saw this one guy dressed as Borat. You know, with the like thong-leotard thing?
Coworker #1: Oh, wow.
Coworker #2: Yeah…it was really ballsy of him.

–Broadway & Walker

Overheard by: office peon

Posted on March 13, 2009
Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Coworkers, Movies, Questions, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

You Could Help Me TA That Class at NYU…

Local friend: So how you finding New York?
Tourist friend: It's okay, I guess… Just can't really see it without the monsters, you know? Like in the movies?

–Times Square

Overheard by: Joel Moore

Posted on March 13, 2009
Friends, Movies, Questions, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists

Get That Triumph-of-the-Human-Spirit Taste Out Of My Mouth

20-something guy: I saw Wall-E this weekend. (pause) Then I saw Wanted to balance it out.

–Deutsche Bank Elevator

Overheard by: Katerina S,

Posted on March 8, 2009
Bank, Compare/Contrast, Elevators, Guys, Movies

He's Conspicuous by His Absence

Girl #1: What should we do?
Girl #2: We could go back to the dorm and watch 10 Things I Hate About You.
Jersey girl: Oh, yeah! I haven't seen Heath Ledger in a long time!

–8th St & University Place

Posted on March 6, 2009
About Celebrities, B & T, Girls, Movies, Questions, The Village

Peanut, Pinenut, Ground Nut, Wednesday One-Liner Nut…

Ghetto girl: Hmm, I know what a peanut is, but what a walnut is?

–147th & Broadway

Man on cell: It's quite possible that my left nut is bigger than my right nut.

–82nd & Broadway

Girlfriend to boyfriend: So that's why Yoda sounds like busting a nut!

–Ave A & 6th St

Guy to friend: I've been bitten in the nuts by two different Scottish Terriers.

–7th Ave b/w 24th & 25th

Overheard by: Carmen

Guy on cell: I'm just like an anorexic. Every time they look in the mirror, they think "I'm not skinny enough," but I look in the mirror and think "these pants aren't tight enough," even though everyone tells me they can see my nuts.

–L Train

Posted on January 28, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Balls, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Food, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Health and Hygiene, Height, Man's Best Friend, Men, Movies, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Questions, Street, Trees and plants, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

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