Let's Get Ready to Wednesday One-Liiiiiiiiiiner!

Chick on cell: It attacked me this morning. I attacked it this afternoon.

–113th St

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Six-year-old boy on train platform to grown man eyeing him: Stop looking at me or I'm going to beat you up!

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Turning away now.

Hipster on cell: Wait…so he hit you with the broom first, right?

–60th & Lex

Overheard by: Easy Does It

Shopper on her cell: If one of these little kids steps on my toes one more time I'm gonna pinch the motherfuckers.

–Ikea in Red Hook

Woman in bathroom: No, there's no toilet paper. You wanna throw down?

–Port Authority

Posted on July 25, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Boys, Customers, Girls, Hipsters, Kids, Not New York, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Port Authority, Punch, Store, Threats, Time, Upper East Side, Violence, Women

She’s a Halo Addict

Lady on cell: Oh, I can’t wait to play with you!
Check-in agent: Excuse me?

–Terminal 7, JFK

Overheard by: Jonathan Katz

Posted on July 25, 2015
Clerks, Default, JFK Airport, Offers and requests, On Cell, Questions, Sexuality, Women, Words

Still Not as Bad as a Poetry Slam

Very loud man on cell to Mexican musicians: Can you tone your music down? I'm trying to talk here!

–E Train

Overheard by: Robyn Z

Posted on July 24, 2015
Men, Mexicans, Music, Musicians, Offers and requests, On Cell

Why Miss Cleo Got Fired from Her Flyer-Peddling Job

Comedy club rep: Hey, crackheads, come see a comedy show!
Woman: I'm not a crackhead.
Comedy club rep: …yet.

–43rd & 7th

Posted on July 21, 2015
Hard Drugs, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nicknames & name calling, Offers and requests, Strangers, Theater & Dance, Vendors & Street Performers, Women

Wednesday One-Liners and the People Who Love Them

Marketing girl: Would you like to try a new perfume? It's for you and your pet!

–Bryant Park, Outside Fashion Week Tents

Overheard by: jycho

Girl: I told my mom that I would probably be alone for the rest of my life. Yesterday she sent me an e-mail with a link to petfinder.com.

–Student Center, Barnard

Overheard by: Kristine

Man trying to sell comedy club tickets: Cheaper than an abortion! More entertaining than the crucifixion! More fun than euthanizing your pets!

–50th Ave & Broadway

Overheard by: Colleen

Queer on cell: Well, women are just pets for straight men.

–E 10th St

Woman on cell: So are you going to tell your daughter that you ate her pet?

–20th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Jesse S G

Posted on July 18, 2015
Abortion, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bryant Park, Columbia (& Barnard), Compare/Contrast, Gender issues, Girls, Internet, Jesus, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Parades & Festitivites, Parents, Parks, Queer guys, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Street, The Village, Vendors & Street Performers, We Love Our Pets, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Since When Is “Jingle Bells” a Christian Song?

NYU girl #1 (singing): “Jingle bells/Jingle bells…”
NYU girl #2: Would you stop singing Christmas music, you're Jewish! Sing “Dreidel, dreidel”!
NYU girl #1: Ewwww.. No, I hate that stupid Jew song!

–Q Train

Posted on July 14, 2015
Christianity, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Judaism, Music, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Students

Never Accept Invitations to Meet Dead Puppies, Dear Reader

Boy: So, do you wanna come up and meet the puppy?
Girl: Ohmigod! Like, a live one?
Boy: Yeah.
Girl: Oh my god, I looove the live ones!

–54th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Alyssa

Posted on July 13, 2015
Boys, Girls, Man's Best Friend, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, Stupidity

But Would You Like Some Poppers?

(crowded train at rush hour)
Polite woman: Can you move in, please?
Annoyed suit: Move in where? This guy’s in me.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Zhi Man Huang

Posted on July 13, 2015
Default, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Suits, Women

Meet the Lady Who’s Always on Line Ahead Of You at the Deli

Subway sandwich maker: Can I help you?
Crazy old woman: Ughh.
Lady behind her: Pick from something on the list.
Crazy old woman: Cheese! Just cheese! A cheese sandwich.

–Subway, Hudson Street

Overheard by: Brendan

Posted on July 9, 2015
9 to 5-ers, Crazies, Customers, Default, Junk Food & Fast Food, Offers and requests, Old People, Restaurants & Cafes, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Women

The DVD's Selling Briskly

Girl #1: Will you be my Valentine?
Girl #2: Of course!
Girl #1: Yay! Let's smear dark chocolate all over our buttocks and spank each other with peacock feathers! And suck on each others candy necklaces.
Girl #2: You're kinky.
Girl #1: You know it.

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: kinkyvalentines

Posted on July 9, 2015
Ass, Celebrations/Parties, Fashion, Food, Girls, Offers and requests, Questions, The Village, Weirdness

Offers and requests