Homeless guy: I got candy, I got gum. I do this 'cause everybody got to eat. I'm trying to do the right thing. I sell candy, I sell gum. I don't sell drugs.
Blonde girl: Do you have drugs?
–Times Square
Homeless guy: I got candy, I got gum. I do this 'cause everybody got to eat. I'm trying to do the right thing. I sell candy, I sell gum. I don't sell drugs.
Blonde girl: Do you have drugs?
–Times Square
Chick on cell: It attacked me this morning. I attacked it this afternoon.
–113th St
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Six-year-old boy on train platform to grown man eyeing him: Stop looking at me or I'm going to beat you up!
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Turning away now.
Hipster on cell: Wait…so he hit you with the broom first, right?
–60th & Lex
Overheard by: Easy Does It
Shopper on her cell: If one of these little kids steps on my toes one more time I'm gonna pinch the motherfuckers.
–Ikea in Red Hook
Woman in bathroom: No, there's no toilet paper. You wanna throw down?
–Port Authority
Lady on cell: Oh, I can’t wait to play with you!
Check-in agent: Excuse me?
–Terminal 7, JFK
Overheard by: Jonathan Katz
Very loud man on cell to Mexican musicians: Can you tone your music down? I'm trying to talk here!
–E Train
Overheard by: Robyn Z
Comedy club rep: Hey, crackheads, come see a comedy show!
Woman: I'm not a crackhead.
Comedy club rep: …yet.
–43rd & 7th
Marketing girl: Would you like to try a new perfume? It's for you and your pet!
–Bryant Park, Outside Fashion Week Tents
Overheard by: jycho
Girl: I told my mom that I would probably be alone for the rest of my life. Yesterday she sent me an e-mail with a link to petfinder.com.
–Student Center, Barnard
Overheard by: Kristine
Man trying to sell comedy club tickets: Cheaper than an abortion! More entertaining than the crucifixion! More fun than euthanizing your pets!
–50th Ave & Broadway
Overheard by: Colleen
Queer on cell: Well, women are just pets for straight men.
–E 10th St
Woman on cell: So are you going to tell your daughter that you ate her pet?
–20th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Jesse S G
NYU girl #1 (singing): “Jingle bells/Jingle bells…”
NYU girl #2: Would you stop singing Christmas music, you're Jewish! Sing “Dreidel, dreidel”!
NYU girl #1: Ewwww.. No, I hate that stupid Jew song!
–Q Train
Boy: So, do you wanna come up and meet the puppy?
Girl: Ohmigod! Like, a live one?
Boy: Yeah.
Girl: Oh my god, I looove the live ones!
–54th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Alyssa
(crowded train at rush hour)
Polite woman: Can you move in, please?
Annoyed suit: Move in where? This guy’s in me.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Zhi Man Huang
Subway sandwich maker: Can I help you?
Crazy old woman: Ughh.
Lady behind her: Pick from something on the list.
Crazy old woman: Cheese! Just cheese! A cheese sandwich.
–Subway, Hudson Street
Overheard by: Brendan
