Polite, cute seven-year-old black boy to mother: Mommy, how was your day?
Hot mom: Nice, I had a very nice day. Thank you for asking. How was your day?
Little boy: Pimpin! Can I play Wii when we get home, please?
–B Train
Polite, cute seven-year-old black boy to mother: Mommy, how was your day?
Hot mom: Nice, I had a very nice day. Thank you for asking. How was your day?
Little boy: Pimpin! Can I play Wii when we get home, please?
–B Train
High school girl #1: Did you see Juno?
High school girl #2: Oh my god! I loved it! Especially that song they sang!
High school girl #1: I know! I always try to get my boyfriend to sing like that with me, but he just tells me to get on my knees.
–79th & Lex
Little girl: Hey! Come over here!
Coffee guy: I can’t! I’m working! Why don’t you come over here?
Little girl: I can’t! I’ve got family here!
Manager lady: Hey, so does he! All our workers are family here!
–Starbucks, Union Square SE
Overheard by: Chris R
Drunk Yankees fan: Hey there! Can we get two Jager shots?
Coffee shop employee: Uh, we don't have any Jager shots here.
Drunk Yankees fan: Well, what do you have?
Coffee shop employee: Uhh… Coffee? Tea? Lattes?
Drunk Yankees fan: Aww, man! (to friend) They ain't got no Jager shots here! (to employee) Okay, thanks anyway. (they leave)
Coffee shop employee: It's 4:30 in the afternoon…
–Coffee Shop, Franklin & Varick
Overheard by: yankees fans are special people
Young black guy with flyers: Flyer?
Young Asian girl: No, thanks. (walks away)
Young black guy with flyers, yelling: Aw, c'mon! I like China people!
–Times Square
Overheard by: ellie
Homeless guy: Yo, yo. Can I get a donation to my broke-ass foundation?
Hipster guy: Sorry, dude.
Homeless guy: Aww, come on brother. Just pretend that you love me.
–5th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: some girl
Eastern European in velour jumpsuit, approaching guy on street: Sup, cuz. Hey, remember to give it to Ricky tonight for that thing tomorrow. It's a good size. Alright, see you later.
–89th & 3rd
Overheard by: Ben A
Girl to friends: And then she was like, "yeah, let me look at you with my weirdly oversized eyeballs."
–Court St., Brooklyn
Overheard by: iwn2000
Female suit on phone: We need to get them! (pause) No! They're too big! They won't fit in the hole!
–Broadway
Guy: Masculinity is determined by the size of your (slight pause) army…
–Millennium High School
Little girl, carrying tiny stick: Look! I have the biggest stick in the world!
–Central Park
Dude #1: Can I borrow your box cutter?
Dude #2: Oh, ’cause I’m a Puerto Rican I must have a box cutter?
Dude #1: Do you?
Dude #2: Well, yeah.
–25th & Broadway
Overheard by: Schatzie
Child: Daddy, can we get a dog?
Dad: No, they don't do anything. At least Sid and Nancy keep the mice away.
–Tribeca
Overheard by: jae
Woman talking to cute businessman: Oh I totally love, like, water and all that jazz!
–Newark Flight
DJ to crowd: If ya love ya mama put ya put ya mothafuckin hand up the skyyyyy!
–Hammerstein Ballroom
Crazy man in leather pants: Bitches, I seen it all! Bitches, hoes, I done it all… Y’all, who won the Yankees game last night? I said, who won the Yankees game last night?! Can I get a motherfucking answer? [Pause.] Fuck all y’all, fuck all y’all niggas, black, white, fuck all y’all white niggas [Pause.] Bitches, hoes, Cadillacs! I done it all! Fuck all y’all [Pause.] Peace, love, and respect baby for all. I love all y’all.
–A Train
Overheard by: Sam
Girl on cell: …but I have to go now -I’m busy lovin’. I said I’m lovin’. I have to go!
–Outside Butler Library, Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
20-something woman: I need more people in my life who love my knees.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: McFreaky
Boy: I’m going to have a business card made. Some finance company. Girls love that stuff.
–6 Train
Overheard by: oya
