Dude #1: You know, Gerard Butler has it good. He's good-looking, but not too good-looking, he's not that ripped…
Dude #2: What the hell not ripped? Gerard Butler is stacked!
Dude #1: He's totally not. He may have been for 300, but I asked him to lift up his shirt, and he's not.
–Elevator, The Met
Father to bored seven-year-old son: I have the Post and the Daily News, which one do you want?
Son: (takes newspaper skeptically)
Father: Go to page six.
Son: Why?
Father: That's where the girls in bikinis are.
–Penn Station
Starbucks barista (giving out some samples): Hey, would you like to sample our frappuccino?
Man with a bottle in a brown paper bag: Pssh. Nah. That shit don't go good with Hennessy.
Starbucks barista: Oh, okay. Have a good day.
Man with a bottle in a brown paper bag: Wait, sorry. That was fucked up. Do you wanna sample my Hennessy?
–Delancy & Allen, Lower East Side
Overheard by: Genia
Girl #1: So, are you going to run away to Europe with me or not?
Girl #2: Depends on when you go.
Girl #1: I said I am running away. As in, never to return. Why the fuck does it matter when we leave?
Girl #2: Okay, I just need to get my passport. Do you think I have to have my parents sign for it?
Girl #1: Never mind, I am running away alone.
Girl #2: Good, I kind of have a life here.
–57th & Broadway
Overheard by: Girl on street
Black suit on cell : What'cha mean you can't get a job? Tupac's been dead for years and the nigga's still putting out albums!
–Center St & Pearl St
Overheard by: Big Larry
Friendly suit to friend: It's not about getting the work done! It's about…well, I don't know what it's about.
–Vessey & Broadway
Overheard by: mondo man
Suit in next office: Okay, I have officially hated today! (phone rings) No! Fuck you!
–Office Building, W 46th St
Overheard by: TheGreenCat
Guy on cell: So, did you find me a job yet? (pause) Well, I want something that isn't challenging, pays well, and doesn't care when I show up.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Cori
Guy on cell (about to start bank teller shift): Come on and hurry up. I'm trying to get drunk before I start my second job.
–Chase Bank, Times Square
Young woman yelling into cell after being refused entrance: Goddamn, whose dick I got to suck to get my career started? Tell me where they at!
–Lobby, Herald Square Towers
Old lady #1: Yes, but you have to admit, you did get a little crazy there.
Old lady #2: Hm, maybe.
Old lady #1: You have to admit, we are both just a little bit crazy.
Old lady #2: I don't want to talk about this anymore.
–W 10th St
Overheard by: Maybe we all are
Mr. Smith* (lifting student's backpack) That's overloaded. You need to get a boyfriend to carry that for you.
Student: I don't need a boyfriend.
Mr. Smith: Then find some sucker to carry it for you.
Student: I'm my own sucker!
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: The Happy Hippie
College guy #1: Wanna see the best dildo ever?
(shows a digital camera screen to his friend)
College guy #2: Awesome, did you sit on it?
College guy #1: No, but Alissa did, her pussy is so wide.
College guy #2: So true.
–F Line
Man: I love you…you know.
Woman: Well then, you'll buy me something expensive.
–Outside Paul Smith Shop
Overheard by: Liam Shove
Man at McDonald's drive-Thru: I'll have a #1 with a Diet Coke please.
Employee: Anything else?
Man: Nope, that's it. And this is all to go.
Employee: Ya think?
–McDonald's, Bayside
