Old man #1: It was uplifting.
Old man #2: Dead babies?
–Cranberry Cafe
Overheard by: Jordan
Old man #1: It was uplifting.
Old man #2: Dead babies?
–Cranberry Cafe
Overheard by: Jordan
Old Chinese lady: No luggage allowed. Leave it outside. This is my building! I own it!
(College kid, obviously from out of town, leaves in fear)
Old Chinese lady: Puta!
(college kid scurries away)
College kid on cell: Yeah, I did what they say on Law & Order. Never make eye contact with a New Yorker.
–Penn Station Entrance
Overheard by: kash
Old man: Let me ask you something. When you see a person in a wheelchair or on crutches, do you feel bad for them?
Teenage boy: Um… I guess, yeah.
Old man: You shouldn't, because they don't feel sorry for you.
Teenage boy: Oh. Thank you.
–Brooklyn Heights
Little boy: Now?
Grandma: No! Now? Now? You sound like Taco, my old cat. Now? Now? He had a funny way of meowing.
Little boy: He looked like a taco that you eat?
Grandma: No. I don’t know why they called him Taco.
–Myrtle & Washington
Overheard by: Kevin Michael Lee
Wasp woman, looking at Asian Peoples exhibit: Oh, honey, look, that woman looks just like that woman at that Chinese food place we like!
–Museum of Natrual History
Overheard by: Heather
Older man to Chinese friend: You know, Caucasians really can't tell the difference between the Asians and the Chinese.
–23rd St b/w 5th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: James
Burly bouncer to burnt-out groupie: Don't think of it as a finger, think of it as an Asian penis.
–11th & 3rd
Tourist on cell: I think I'm heading towards Little Italy, but all I see are Chinese people. I feel like fuckin' Marco Polo. Fuck man, where are you? (trips on curb and falls into pile of trash bags)
–Canal St
Giggling 20-something: So we hired a new intern, and she's Asian!
–Murray Hill
Overheard by: sab
Old lady: You know, I never liked the word ‘black.’ I much preferred ‘colored’ — it makes more sense. See, you’re not black, you’re brown like the color of toast.
Nurse: Ah, um, I’m just here to give you your meds.
–Albert Einstein Hospital
Girl to old man in baseball cap: What does the “E” on your hat stand for?
Old man: (unintelligible)
Girl: The “E”? What does it stand for?
Old man: (unintelligible)
Black lady observing scene: E stands for the English he don’t speak.
–A Train
Overheard by: Brenda
Old lady #1: I'm glad I live so near the subway.
Old lady #2: Yes, because it's so easy to get wet nowadays.
–Outside Nederlander Theater, W 41st St
Overheard by: Willo
Older gentleman #1: The couple times a century that we do have sex, I would rather be playing golf.
Older gentleman #2: I know exactly what you mean.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Jessica
Hippie woman: Ma'am, what did you just feed my dog?
Elderly woman: A treat.
Hippie woman: What was it? Was it meat?
Elderly woman: Well, not really, it was a sausage.
Hippie woman: What is wrong with you?! My dog is a vegetarian! What if he had a food allergy?!
Elderly woman: Right. Go away.
–Thompson Square Park Dog Run
Overheard by: Klayton
