Girl #1: I think the subway is, like, the Disney Monorail of New York City.
Girl #2: Yeah, but underground… Wow, I never thought of it like that!
–N Train
Overheard by: Lauryn McC.
Girl #1: I think the subway is, like, the Disney Monorail of New York City.
Girl #2: Yeah, but underground… Wow, I never thought of it like that!
–N Train
Overheard by: Lauryn McC.
MTA conductor: This train is going to run express. The next and last stop is McDonald's… I mean Astoria-Ditmars Boulevard.
–W Train
British teenager: They didn't even spell it right, it's "Mac Donald's," not "mc"!
–McDonald's, Bowery & Bayard
Student to class: I ate a McGriddle last week, and it was like eating a baby angel.
–Classroom, NYU
Frantic foreign lady: Is this the train that goes to McDonald's?
–F Subway
Overheard by: laura
Girl #1: Oh my god, I love my English teacher.
Guy: Why? He’s so old!
Girl #1: He’s so easy.
Girl #2: What? You guys had sex?
Girl #1: Nah! He passed me with a 90 and all I do in his class is eat
breakfast.
–G train
Overheard by: Faizun Nahar
Hipster mom: How much further are we going?
Five-year-old savant son: Well, it’s the weekend so the G train is making all the local F stops. That means six more stations from Hoyt-Schermerhorn — Jay Street-Borough Hall, Bergen Street, Carroll Street, Smith and Ninth Streets, Fourth Avenue and Seventh Avenue.
–G train
Overheard by: He even pronounced them correctly
Large black woman to another: So I said to him, "Muthafucka, don't you know a baby comes out of that shit? Ain't nothing you got down there gonna hurt me!"
–Fulton St
Old man with thick Russian accent: It is fresher than a baby's bottom!
–Ave M & E 16th, Brooklyn
Ghetto black guy on phone: Nah, I was locked up, but I'm out now, and she's tryin' to say it's my baby, but that shit ain't mine.
–Downtown 2 Train
Man on cell, passing adorable child playing with dog: I love fucking babies!
–10th & 53rd
Puerto Rican girl to pregnant friend: You feel like you have to poop, but that's just the baby.
–36th St & 34th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Bryan Bruner
Conductor: Ma'am, please step off the ramp platform and wait until it is safe. (pause) Miss, you're having a frickin' baby, get off the ramp! (she does) Thank you.
–Metro-North Rail Tracks
Overheard by: Theonlyonewhoseemedtonotice
Teenage mother to friends, running to catch subway: Last one gets the baby!
–Broadway
Overheard by: Francisco S. Ramírez
Teen boy #1: I got drunk for the first time last weekend.
Teen boy #2: Really?
Teen boy #1: Yeah, it felt so good! Every girl I saw looked really hot.
Teen boy #2: Yeah… That tends to happen.
–L Train
Woman: Once my mom let me go to school, when I was eight, in a training bra and a see-through baby blue crocheted hand-knit sweater that my grandma made.
Man: What the fuck?
Woman: Yeah. I got made fun of something fierce. That’s when I realized my mom’s a crazy bitch.
Man: Heh.
Woman: But you know what? I fucking love her. I love that crazy-ass bitch.
–7 train, Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Ryan
Four-year-old Asian boy: Is this train going to Jamaica Center? The same as e train?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: So they need to watch out for guns?
–F Train
Meathead: I think that’s just so ridiculous that they would expect you to teach these kids when you don’t know the kids at all.
Ditzy girl: Well they had name tags.
–2 train
Asian to another: And it's like, how many ABCs are there at NYU these day?
Girl to friend, once off train: What's an ABC?
Friend: Asian by Choice?
–F Train
