Not in the Face, Wednesday One-Liners

Girl on cell: You keep talking over me–it makes me want to punch you in the uterus.

–Ray's Pizza, 52 & 8th

Overheard by: Jarett

Guy to friend: You keep referring to me as "that guy" and we'll see how long you stay conscious.

–33rd & 7th

Nervous man seated against the wall: I don't like this seat. I don't like sitting here. I like to sit on the aisle. What if there's a fight? I don't want to be trapped in a place with a fight.

–Off-Broadway Theatre

Overheard by: Hannah

Ghetto chick: Can't you get somebody else to fuck him up? Why you gotta do it?

–W Train

Overheard by: sara n.

Man: He was trying to turn his alcoholism into a positive thing instead of attacking the guy who raped his sister.

–The Strand Bookstore

Overheard by: Slightly confused, yet intrigued…

Girl on cell: Remember that time you got into a fight with an inch worm?

–Chambers St

Overheard by: Shooty

Posted on September 22, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Drinking & Drunk People, Family Ties, Fighting and ass kicking, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Insects, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Punch, Questions, Rape, Sex, Store, Street, Theater, Threats, Violence, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Words

Wednesday One-Liners Should Not Be Taken If You Are Pregnant or Nursing

Kid to friend: Is your dad in town? I need Ambien CR.

–Saatchi & Saatchi, Hudson St

Overheard by: dlr

Guy on cell: No, they never came. [Pause.] I just never got them! [Pause.] I told you you can’t just send random pills through the mail!

–Strawberry Fields, Central Park

Strung out middle-aged lesbian: How long does that detox stuff take to work? I need to be clean of the Xanax by my doctor’s appointment next week. He knows I’m on meth, but he can’t find out I’m on Xanax.

–E Train

Worried suit: …But I can’t be on Zoloft, so I don’t know what to do.

–E 14th St

Patient to friend: He asked for an Ensure. He got an Ambien instead.

–NYS Psychiatric Institute

Overheard by: nonrandomerror

Suit: Her meds worked better this audition season -you could tell.

–Oriental Garden

Posted on September 20, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Drugs, Family Ties, Friends, Guys, Hospitals, Kids, Lesbians, Medicine, On Cell, On the Subway, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Store, Suits, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wishes & desires

Kids These Days, I Tell Ya…

Kid #1: Paper beats rock. BAM! Your rock is blowed up!
Kid #2: “Bam” doesn’t blow up, “bam” makes it spicy. Now I got a SPICY ROCK! You can’t defeat that!

–6 Train

Posted on September 18, 2022
Comebacks, Kids, On the Subway, Talking/Convos

I Can’t Wait Not to Have One of My Own

Chick #1: Dude, everyone’s popping out babies these days. JLo, TomKat, Britney. It’s like they’re the new fucking accessory.
Chick #2: Yeah, who wants a fucking baby anyway? You just turn into a fatass with stretch marks and saggy tits with a screaming infant who no one wants to be around.
Very pregnant passenger: I’m due in two weeks.
Chick #1: Aww! Is it a boy or a girl?

–F train

Posted on September 8, 2022
About Celebrities, Babies, Biotechs, On the Subway, Preggers

Canadia: Sniff

Mom: You wanna play with my iPod? I put your favorite Bieber songs on there.
Three-year-old: He not my favorite anymore.
Mom: He's not? How come?
Three-year-old: Mommy, he's just a white boy from Canada.

–Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: not a belieber

Posted on September 5, 2022
iPod, Kids, Moms, Music, On the Subway, Parents, Race

The Earth Got So Fat That Nobody Loves It

Boy: When I was little I used to think that if the planet got heavy enough, it would start to fall.
Friend: You must have been pretty smart to even think that when you were a little kid.
Boy: But what if I still think that?
Friends: Then you're a dumb ass.

–C Train

Overheard by: Rafael DaSilva

Posted on September 2, 2022
Age/Aging, Boys, Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, Insults, On the Subway, Questions, Stupidity

Bill Finally Tells His Wife She Won’t Be President

Chick on cell: What did you say?…What did you say?…What did you say?…What did you say?…I can’t believe you said that. Say it again!…I haven’t spoken to you in so long and I finally fuckin’ call and that’s what you have to say?…Well fuck you, you fuckin’ bitch!

–F train

Overheard by: Tamika J.

Posted on September 2, 2022
Insults, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Talking/Convos

Quite the Fucking Contrary

Angsty chick: I’m so tired of fucking… chicken broccoli bake.
Chill gal pal: Fucking? Sex on the mind?
Angsty chick: I’m not going to change my vocabulary just because I had an experience!

–6 train

Overheard by: i hope you read this

Posted on August 28, 2022
Food, Girls, On the Subway, Sex, Words

On the Subway