20-something girl in chucks to another: No, I will not get rubber boots. What do I look like, fucking Paddington Bear?
–CVS
Boy: I bet if I had three of me I could take on a grizzly bear.
–Columbia
Overheard by: Megan
Small, well-dressed girl: I want to eat the heart of a bear!
–Bohemian Hall, Astoria
Overheard by: Joseph
Guy on cell: You don't even know what the Care Bears are about!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Fresca P.
NYU girl #1: You're smoking again. You're a smoker.
NYU girl #2: No I'm not! I only smoke when I'm stressed out in New York.
NYU girl #1: (blank stare)
NYU girl #2, realizing: Shit.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: …shit.
Girl to friend: What's the difference between penguins and puffins?
Friend: Well, for one thing, puffins are birds.
–Central Park Zoo, Penguin/Puffins Exhibit
British tourist to misbehaving child: Do you want a smacked bottom now or the other thing when we get home?
–Central Park
Overheard by: birdw0rks
Mom to kid playing on shopping cart: You'd better stop that, or you're going to fall and crack your head, and I'm going to laugh, cuz I told you so.
–Grocery Store
Father to four-year-old son: Watch out, these people are trying to kill us.
–36th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: benny
Guy to son who is hesitant about seat in theater: If I had been this choosy with your mom, you wouldn't be here!
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Mother to daughter: I don't want to hear about your hunger pangs right now. Now turn around and look at the sea lions.
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: kathcom
20-something girl #1, about energy drinks: Everyone drinks them. I figure if they were so bad they'd make them illegal.
20-something girl #2, sarcastically: Yeah… like cigarettes and alcohol are illegal.
20-something girl #1: Heroin is illegal. That's definitely bad.
–Central Park
20-something chick: Oh my god! So he's gay now?
Dude, muttering: I dunno…
20-something chick: I'm sorry, what?
Dude: Where's a damn Twix bar when you need one?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Rosie
Young guy: If I see another blue penis it would be too soon!
–42nd St
Overheard by: alecko
Girl on cell: She just bought a merkin… It was pink, you know, to match her hair. (pause) Would you want to rub toxic dye down there?
–Williamsburg
Girl to another: Just because he is wearing a different colored shirt, he's still the same guy.
–Central Park
Flamboyant guy, shouting to girl in very short orange dress: I have that same orange dress in purple!
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Green Star
Mother to four-year-old wearing pink shirt and shoes: Not *everything* has to be pink, honey.
–Rite Aid, Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Sunny
Street performers to people leaving: Hey, we didn't leave when you got here!
Random passerby: I threatened them with sex!
–Washington Square
Overheard by: RAR!
Girl sitting with friends listening to music: Ohmigod, the guy who sings this song is sooooooo ugly!
Friend: Really?
Girl: My family said I look like him.
–Central Park
Hot law student: But then she was like, “but he's gay?”
Less pretty friend: No way!
Hot law student: I know, so I just laughed and said my boyfriend's defo not gay.
Man on next table: I don't mean to be rude, but if you're always like this I can see why he would be, I'm thinking of interior decorating as we speak.
Hot law student, whispering to friend: Obviously a closet.
–Tavern on the Green, Central Park
