Hipster guy #1: Dude, it's so cold…did you just pee your pants?
Hipster guy #2: I did. I peed my pants, everybody! I peed them!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: youknowme
Hipster guy #1: Dude, it's so cold…did you just pee your pants?
Hipster guy #2: I did. I peed my pants, everybody! I peed them!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: youknowme
Girl #1: I really gotta pee…
Girl #2: Please. Use the adult word.
Girl #1: What's that?
Girl #2: Piss. You gotta take a piss.
–Bard High School
Overheard by: Delilah
Girl to friend: You have to stop setting your brother on fire.
–Broadway
Overheard by: sandm
Student to professor: Urinating on fire? What the hell, Freud?
–Wagner College, Staten Island
Tool on cell: If burning leaves in the schoolyard is wrong, I don’t wanna be right!
–E 44th St & 2nd Ave
Blond woman: And that was the night I burned my eyebrows off!
–Union Square
Some guy: I spent all of last night searching my body for it, but I promise you if I find it, I’ll burn it.
–The Village
Older woman at art gallery, looking at the price list: That burns my ass. Sorry, but that burns my ass.
–57th St
Guido #1: I fucking hate New Jersey.
Guido #2: I won't even take a piss in New Jersey.
Guido #1: I won't even say “New Jersey”!
–Shea Stadium
Mother: When you go into the stall do not sit down on that toilet seat!
Girl: OK, Mommy.
Mother closes the door and goes into the next stall.
Girl: Mommy?
Mother: Yes?
Girl: I’m sittin’ all over this toilet!
Mother: Girl, I told you not to sit on that toilet!
–Wendy’s ladies room, W. 34th and 8th Ave
Nut: Fucking homosexual! Watching another man do his business. You must be gay.
–Union Square
Serious man to dog: I am very disappointed in you. I expect more of you than that.
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Sunny
Woman to pooping Jack Russell terrier: Don't even pay attention to all those people who are looking at you. They all poop too. Everybody poops!
–University & 9th
Little girl, angrily to her dog for going at a mural: You just peed on Barack Obama!
–East Village
Overheard by: Z
Woman to dog: No, we can't go in there; that's an evil pet store.
–50th & 9th
Overheard by: Natalie
Woman to her dog: You know, there are a lot of crazy people in the world. That's why I trust your opinion so much.
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: Jessie
Girl #1: Dude, why do all these black guys want to fuck me?!
Girl #2: No, this guy just wants you to pee on him.
–63rd St & West End Ave
Teen girl on cell: Are you kidding, mom? Google shapes everyone's lives, whether they like it or not. You google everything.
–W 28th St
20-something-girl: He has liked every status I put up since Wednesday. I haven't spoken to him in ages. I was like, "stop peeing all over my Facebook page!"
–42St & 2nd Ave
NYU student on cell: Honestly, that blog was the most profound thing I've ever written.
–Mercer & W 4th
Overheard by: Bloggers have depth too
40-year-old woman dressed as 16-year-old, on cell: Samantha, just go on Facebook and text him already. (pause) Of course you can do that, everyone does it.
–Outside Five Guys Burgers
Drunk, loudly to drunk friend: Relax, dude, no one even notices. (drunk friend mumbles) It's St. Patty's day, bro. These people don't care. Bro, no one's gonna know you pissed yourself.
–E Train
