Guido #1: I fucking hate New Jersey.
Guido #2: I won't even take a piss in New Jersey.
Guido #1: I won't even say “New Jersey”!
–Shea Stadium
Guido #1: I fucking hate New Jersey.
Guido #2: I won't even take a piss in New Jersey.
Guido #1: I won't even say “New Jersey”!
–Shea Stadium
Mother: When you go into the stall do not sit down on that toilet seat!
Girl: OK, Mommy.
Mother closes the door and goes into the next stall.
Girl: Mommy?
Mother: Yes?
Girl: I’m sittin’ all over this toilet!
Mother: Girl, I told you not to sit on that toilet!
–Wendy’s ladies room, W. 34th and 8th Ave
Nut: Fucking homosexual! Watching another man do his business. You must be gay.
–Union Square
Serious man to dog: I am very disappointed in you. I expect more of you than that.
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Sunny
Woman to pooping Jack Russell terrier: Don't even pay attention to all those people who are looking at you. They all poop too. Everybody poops!
–University & 9th
Little girl, angrily to her dog for going at a mural: You just peed on Barack Obama!
–East Village
Overheard by: Z
Woman to dog: No, we can't go in there; that's an evil pet store.
–50th & 9th
Overheard by: Natalie
Woman to her dog: You know, there are a lot of crazy people in the world. That's why I trust your opinion so much.
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: Jessie
Girl #1: Dude, why do all these black guys want to fuck me?!
Girl #2: No, this guy just wants you to pee on him.
–63rd St & West End Ave
Teen girl on cell: Are you kidding, mom? Google shapes everyone's lives, whether they like it or not. You google everything.
–W 28th St
20-something-girl: He has liked every status I put up since Wednesday. I haven't spoken to him in ages. I was like, "stop peeing all over my Facebook page!"
–42St & 2nd Ave
NYU student on cell: Honestly, that blog was the most profound thing I've ever written.
–Mercer & W 4th
Overheard by: Bloggers have depth too
40-year-old woman dressed as 16-year-old, on cell: Samantha, just go on Facebook and text him already. (pause) Of course you can do that, everyone does it.
–Outside Five Guys Burgers
Drunk, loudly to drunk friend: Relax, dude, no one even notices. (drunk friend mumbles) It's St. Patty's day, bro. These people don't care. Bro, no one's gonna know you pissed yourself.
–E Train
Girl, about Gathering of the Vibes music festival: The thought of peeing in an outhouse this weekend has already made me constipated, you have no idea.
Friend: Vibes!
–Nokia Theatre Bathroom
Drunk guy: I summon all the single ladies to my personal sleeping quarters. Somebody come up here and kiss me! I'm an outstanding kisser and an excellent swing dancer! Girls, boys, hermaphrodites, I don't care!
Drunk guy's friend: If you think this is bad, you should've seen him at the Billy Joel concert… He peed on my foot.
Drunk guy: Only because you were wearing sandals!
–Citi Field Stadium
Woman to cashier: Do you have a bathroom I could use?
Cashier: No, we don't have public bathrooms here.
Woman: It is harder to pee in New York than to see a gorilla doing the Watusi in Times Square at high noon.
–Times Square
