Queer: You know what I completely forgot people worry about? Getting pregnant.
–The Slide, Bowery
Overheard by: professional hag
Queer: You know what I completely forgot people worry about? Getting pregnant.
–The Slide, Bowery
Overheard by: professional hag
Employee: Ma’am, can I help you?
Woman: I’d like a half dozen of your chocolate chip cookies.
Employee: We only sell them, like, 1, 2, 3…
Woman to friend: Is she serious?
Friend: She’ll take 6.
–Starbucks, Rockefeller Center Concourse
Man in a thick British accent: There isn’t a town of Leeds in England. I’m from the CITY of Leeds.
— Opening night party for an off-Broadway show in Link
Suit #1: No sir, the kids don’t have school off tomorrow. You believe that?
Suit #2: Wait, the Catholic Schools don’t close for the Jewish holidays? You’re kidding me!
–Elevator, Park & 33rd
Overheard by: Nick Jezarian
Girl #1: I saw this homeless girl on the street who looked our age and I felt so bad.
Girl #2: So did you give her money?
Girl #1: No, my nails were wet.
–62nd & Lexington
Girl #1, watching clean-cut white guy who is playing his clarinet for money: What’s he doing peddling on a subway?
Girl #2: Do we have to give him money because he’s white?
–Downtown C train
Fratboy #1: Can she bring some of her friends?
Fratboy #2: You don’t want to meet her friends.
Fratboy #1: Why?
Fratboy #2: I don’t know, they’re…
Fratboy #1: They’re fat, right?
Fratboy #2: Yeah.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Josh Caldwell
Queer: Is it wrong to think of my brother while I’m getting fucked in the ass?
Girl: Oh my god, I thought I was the only freak that thought that!
–Times Square
Overheard by: eavesdropper
HS girl: Man, this school is a ho!
Security guard: Yeah, and you gotta learn how to trick it right to get what you want out of it.
–Bread & Roses High, Harlem
Guy #1: You’re the first person I’ve seen that washed their hands before going to the toilet.
Guy #2: My godfather was a doctor and he got it into my head at a young enough age that I had to always do it.
Guy #1: Really? He must have been a bit of a strange doctor.
Guy #2: Yeah…He specialized in infectious diseases.
–Milk and Honey bathroom, Eldridge Street
