Girl #1, in library: Where's Samantha*?
Girl #2: Over there. (points)
Girl #1: I don't see her. Oh, there she is! She blends in with the nerds.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl #1, in library: Where's Samantha*?
Girl #2: Over there. (points)
Girl #1: I don't see her. Oh, there she is! She blends in with the nerds.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Yuppie lady: When all is said and done, I was drunk in Banana Republic…
–51st & Lexington
Overheard by: Karen Adverb
20-something burnout: Would you like to know what this girl said last night, when she was tripping balls and the cops came to my house?
Friend: She thought she was in a nursing home!
20-something burnout: She was screaming all this crazy stuff. (pause) Wait, are you offended by dirty words?
Friend: Go for it.
20-something burnout: “You dick!”
Friend: Excuse me?
20-something burnout: “You fucking nigger faggot! Bitch-ass spic! I'm a fucking lesbian! You're a fucking lesbian!”
–Mineola Ave, Queens
Worker: … Just stick it in your pocket. I mean, seven inches isn’t bad.
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: EthanK
Guy: So I tried to set my password to "Penis".
Girl: […]Guy: It said my password wasn’t long enough.
–66th & Broadway
College kid to girlfriend: You make me feel sometimes like ten inches isn’t enough.
–12th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Strand Customer
Asian girl on cell: It’s six inches. [Laughs.] Wait… What’s six inches?
–CUNY Queensborough
Drunk guy pissing against wall, on cell: I got my dick out at 14th street! Yeah, it’s 14 inches!
–Union Square
Young office peon: Stan*, I have a question, but first, how are you this morning?
Old office peon: Well, I had only four hours of sleep, I am still very drunk, and even though I showered, I still have stripper stank on me… So, what was your question?
Young office peon: Never mind.
Old office peon: Okay, cool.
–Queens
Teen girl, exasperated: Europe is a nation!
Teen boy: Europe is a continent!
–Queens
Little girl playing video game: I’m shooting fish.
Mom: Stop talking retarded.
Little girl playing video game: But I’m supposed to shoot the fish!
–Queens Center Mall
Woman: No! Do it like a bear!
Man: Raaaaaawwwwwwrrr!
–Queens
Chick on cell: It's all about the eyeball lick. Tell her.
–59th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: aenigma
NYPD cop: I would rather lick the street than ever smell your fart again.
–Forsyth St & E Houston St
Overheard by: Dave-o
Teen girl to friends: He's so gross! Seriously, I'd rather lick my cat's asshole than hook up with that guy!
–Barnes & Noble, Bayside
Guy at bar to friend: I can't believe you married a woman who won't lick your asshole.
–Ale House, MacDougal St
Random woman: Why do you always insist on licking my elbow?
–86th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jana
Nerdy serious white guy: See, that's what's great about going to Afghanistan. I'm no good at talking to women.
–N Train
Overheard by: annearchist
Nerd walking into archaeology class from noisy hallway: Do you hear the roman legion?
–Hunter College
Nerdy guy on cell: Yeah, she's an exhibitionist. She needs to be punished, but who's going to do it?
–JCPenny
Geeky Korean kid outside high school: I'm not really bad. I'm, like, medium-bad. You know, like, bad… But still good.
–Flushing, Queens
Overheard by: Samantha
Nerd to another: Your entire belief system is based on the rotundity of Darth Vader… That is a farce.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Nicole
