Wednesday One-Liners Find It Difficult to Sit Down

NYPD emergency service cop to man carrying very large hamster in a cage: Whoa, did you pull that out of someone's butt?

–50th St & 10th Ave

Overheard by: Well we're in the neighborhood for it…

30-something to friend: She has everything up her ass but a cock.

–Broadway and Waverly

Tall man to short lady behind her wearing backpack: If you shove that bag any further up my ass, it'll be coming out my mouth!

–Downtown 5 Train

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

20-something boyfriend to girlfriend: First I let you put a dildo up my ass, and then you call me a faggot!

–2nd Ave & St. Mark's

Overheard by: Joe

Gay man: Oh. My. God. What kind of friend puts eels up your ass?

–52nd St & 9th Ave

Posted on August 18, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Ass, Backdoor, Body Parts, Cops, Couples, Dildos and Vibrators, Friends, Friendship, Kink, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nicknames & name calling, On the Subway, One-liners, Penis, Queer guys, Questions, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Aww, Thank You!

Pretty girl: My boyfriend thinks it's cool that I have so many gay guy friends, because they are guys who want to talk to me regardless of if I'm pretty or not.
Gay guy: Honey, we only talk to you because you're pretty.

–42nd & 7th

Posted on August 16, 2010
Beauty, Comebacks, Fag Hags, Friendship, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Physical appearance, Queer guys

When Worlds Collide

Gay guy, looking at girl dressed in princess costume: Look at that little girl. She looks so cute!
Gay friend: Yeah, she's really adorable.
Gay guy: If I had a daughter she would dress like that every day. She would wear that to school. (pause, looks at father) I would totally fuck her father.

–17th St & 9th Ave

Overheard by: Julie

Posted on August 15, 2010
Beauty, Clothing, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Kids, Physical appearance, Queer guys, Sex, West Village

How Tight Do You Wear Your Wednesday One-Liners?

Girl in sweatpants: I kind of want someone to pants me. Just so that I can show off my ass without being a whore.

–High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Fabulous gay man to another: Ohmigod! I'm totally having a Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants moment right now."

–9th Ave & 47th St

Teenage boy, screaming: I can't wait to get my pants off!

–Broadway & 52nd St

Man to seven-year-old daughter: Hold onto the rail so you don't fall. Cause if you do fall, we're all going to laugh. We're going to laugh really hard. We're going to laugh so hard we will shit our pants.

–N Train

20-something well-dressed girl to another: He comes home saying he won all this money, and falls asleep with his hands in his pants, and that's the end of the story.

–Bedford Ave & 7th

Posted on August 11, 2010
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Clothing, Fast Times at New York High, Girls, Kids, Laughter, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Nudity, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Poop, Public Transportation, Queens, Queer guys, Stupidity, Teens, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Where Reality Show Contestants Come From: Explained.

Gay man #1: There's always a moment in plays where someone has the chance to drop their morals and go for the money…
Gay man #2: But that opportunity never arises in real life. I keep waiting. Got my morals all bagged up and ready to go!

–Uptown A Train

Overheard by: Julie

Posted on August 2, 2010
Compare/Contrast, Money & Class, On the Subway, Queer guys, Theater & Dance

Some Countries Blame the Juice for Everything

Tall, gay, black guy: Girl, I learned a lot watching that movie. There's a lot of sexism in Sweden.
White female friend: Who knew? You'd think they'd be more advanced.
Tall, gay, black guy: And apparently, they have a lot of anti-semenism too.

–Film Forum

Overheard by: Peter K.

Posted on July 25, 2010
Black People, Cum, Education, Fag Hags, Film, Gender issues, Movie Theaters, Queer guys, Sexuality, Stupidity, The Village, White People

Yeah Right, Mr. “What Day Do the Wednesday One-Liners Come Out?“

Gay hipster #1: So wait, who is Natalee Holloway?
Gay hipster #2: That's a dumber question than the time you asked for some Chinese yen.

–N Train

Overheard by: Melissa

Posted on July 23, 2010
Compare/Contrast, Crime and Punishment, Hipsters, Money & Class, On the Subway, Queer guys, Stupidity

How Gay Boys Keep Their Figures by Losing Their Appetites

Young Jersey gay boy going to pride parade: Oh my god, my thighs are so pasty. And hairy!
Friend: Yeah, it's like someone cut their hair over a bowl of sour cream.

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: JBe

Posted on July 22, 2010
B & T, Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Food, Friends, Hair, Physical appearance, Queer guys, Trains Not Subway

We Pause for a Wednesday One-Liners Public Service Announcement

Girl on cell: Yeah, the breakup was tough, but I'm feeling good about it now! (pause) Hell, yes, I'm dating! (pause) Yeah, it's an exciting time! So much suspense, so many questions! Will he call me? Whom should I choose? Does he like me? Do I have syphilis?

–M4 Bus

Overheard by: All good questions

Drunk gay guy who just dropped lit cigarette: Shit! If I pick this up, do I have herpes?

–Waverly & University Place

Guy to friend: Nietzsche had syphilis… Why can't I?

–G Train

Woman at newsstand: Do you sell anything for herpes and cold sores?

–W 4th St

Overheard by: wow…i didnt kno they sold that her

Gay man to girlfriend: Is Mr Syphilis coming?

–24th & 2nd

Overheard by: erkala

Posted on July 21, 2010
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Breaking Up, Bus, Compare/Contrast, Dating, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Friends, Girlfriends, Girls, Guys, Illness, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nicknames & name calling, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Philosophy, Queer guys, Questions, Relationships, Smoking, STDs, The Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Look, You Tied Your Shoes All by Yourself Today! Hoorah!

Straight-looking young guy: So this is gay pride, huh?
Gay-looking friend: Yep, this is it. Whoo hooo!
Straight-looking young guy: I wish I had something to be proud of.
Gay-looking friend: That's kinda sad on such a gay day like today! Come on, let's get a drink. I will be proud for both of us.

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Myklstarr

Posted on July 20, 2010
Bryant Park, Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Queer guys, Questions, Wishes & desires

Queer guys

Yeah Right, Mr. “What Day Do the Wednesday One-Liners Come Out?“