Cashier #1: Me and my ex-boyfriend are on common ground.
Cashier #2: What does that mean?
Cashier #1: We both know it will never work out between us.
Cashier #2: Didn't he say he wanted to knock you up again or something?
Cashier #1: Yes.
–Grocery Store, Chelsea
Overheard by: Torch
Girl #1: And how old is her boy now?
Girl #2: Uh… I dunno, one year old -maybe older?
Girl #1, in shock and disgust: And she still breast-feedin’ him?! That crazy ho!
Girl #2, definitively: Yeah, I ain’t lettin’ no lil’ man put teeth on my nipple!
–53rd & 6th Ave
Overheard by: SA
Schoolgirl #1: The sun rises in the west and sets in the east, right?
Schoolgirl #2: No, no, no! It rises in the east! Girl, you need to learn your temperatures!
–N train
Musician: See, that’s why I don’t drink. So I can fuck any time.
–26th between 6th & Broadway
Overheard by: Mike
Guy: Where can I go to make it look like I went home last night?
–56th & 9th
Overheard by: David
Ghetto chick: …and it’s not like I’m calling him a transsexual, but he gave oral like a starving lesbian.
–58th & 5th
Overheard by: Melissa
Queer #1, stopping at store window: I don’t know. Should I? Well, actually, can I go in?
Queer #2: Sure you can. They let dogs in. Why can’t you go in with a cigarette?
–The Village
Girl #1: I'm still looking for a phone to call from.
Girl #2: Why do you want to call from a 212 area code so bad?
Girl #1: I just don't want to call from an 847 number. I want to keep it professional.
–NYU
Eastern European tourist chick, looking at Empire State Building: What is that?
New York teenage girl, in perfect seriousness: I have no idea.
–Outside Empire State Building
Overheard by: Sapodilla
Thug #1: How do you know all that about the church?
Thug #2: Because I was a muthafuckin' altar boy for five years!
–Pride Parade, 25th &5th
Overheard by: fellow ex-catholic
Girl #1, reading menu: Cheese and onion pasties…
Girl #2: How can that be true?
–The Cake Shop
Overheard by: Ryan
Chick on cell: As a pie-lover, I have a question.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Poogins
Father to toddler: No, you can't have a doughnut. You just had a doughnut yesterday. You can have another when you're…25!
–Doughnut Plant, Grand & Norfolk
Large older woman: I like cherry, lemon, peach, apple, and pumpkin. Other than that, I'm not a big pie person.
–Central Park Bench
Overheard by: Struedel Snatcher
Big black guy: And she kept trying to get me to take a pie, but I kept telling her, "bitch, I ain't got no room for no pie!"
–Penn Station
Young lady to friend, gravely: I understand, but things have changed. That was before the chocolate bonanza.
–72nd & Broadway
Overheard by: T. Ryan
