Little boy, pointing to staircase leading to basement: Daddy, what's downstairs?
Dad: Hell.
–Clothing Store, NoHo
Little boy, pointing to staircase leading to basement: Daddy, what's downstairs?
Dad: Hell.
–Clothing Store, NoHo
Girl #1: Are you pregnant? Your belly looks big…
Girl #2: No, I just haven't shat for three days.
–4 Train
Girl #1: So then he asked if I would send her a birthday card.
Girl #2: Oh my god, seriously? Why would he want you to send his mom a birthday card?
Girl #1: I know! It's not like she sent me one on my birthday.
Girl #2: Slut.
–Amtrak, Grand Central
Overheard by: RG
Random guy: I was naked in my neighbors' pool this weekend, with my wife and another woman…
Friend: Where were the neighbors?
Random guy: Gone for the weekend. It was great.
–42nd & Lexington
20-something guy on cell: In the eight-minute cab ride it went from her telling him he was wearing a cheap coat to her licking his face!
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
Overheard by: Robert
Conductor: We are not moving because of a switch problem at 125th. If you are in a hurry, there are taxis upstairs.
–Uptown D Train
Overheard by: Wes
30-something man in Santa suit on cell: Where the fuck is my fucking taxi, bitch?
–Lafayette & Spring
Cop pulling over a cabbie: Why did you honk? Where did you see danger? Where did you see danger? Besides behind your own wheel…
–Times Square
Woman cut off by cab while crossing the street: Oh my god! I'm getting cab-fucked left and right!
–Broadway & Spring
Overheard by: Marc
Suit on cell: I've already had a blow job tonight so I don't really care what happens.
–7th St & Ave A
Overheard by: Karmenlara Seidman
Lady suit to other: What about 1994? I haven't sucked cock or watched ice hockey since 1994!
–Lion's Head, 109th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: A great man
Toothless thug: And now she wants an award for sucking my dick.
–7th Ave & 16th St
Overheard by: mattamore
Guy on cell: Look, I'm about to get on the train and lose signal so I'll sum up my argument: until I can pull out my dick and get a blowjob from any woman I want, my grudge against feminists stands. No, I don't care if it doesn't make sense. Fuck you, I'm getting on the train!
–Penn Station
Old woman to husband: Now isn't she the girl who gave him head in the Port Authority bathroom?
–Bench, Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Horrified
Girl to two hipster friends with yoga mats: Oh my god, he had to stop me while I was sucking on his dick just to tell me he likes me. Like why? Ew, why would he bother?
–Avenue B & 13th
Girl #1, about lady on loudspeaker: Do you think she's British?
Girl #2: Nah, she's just drunk.
–Chelsea Piers
Guy with mullet #1: Did you get those two pics I sent you?
Guy with mullet #2: Actually, once I downloaded them it was a letdown. I thought that the bottom one was a cross section of an elk against glass, like some deer bodies exhibit or some other fucked shit.
–L Train
Overheard by: Zev
Girl #1: Did you hear that Theresa got sent to alcohol reform?
Girl #2: No, what is that?
Girl #1: It's like a reform thing, like remedial classes, where they force you to like, do things to decrease your drinking.
Girl #2: What!?
–City College of New York
Lady: How are you doing tonight?
Hobo: I'm miserable. You know I'm homeless?
–54th St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: Seth
