Wednesday One-Liners Are Growers, Not Showers

Bouncer on phone: I don't care if they is balding, got big guts or little dicks!

–Houston & Lafayette

Overheard by: chiddox

Flaming gay man to lover: You have a small dick that never gets erect, and you are not in my will!

–Avenue St John & Kelly Streets, Bronx

Overheard by: Li'l Squeaker

Hobo: Stop controlling my eyeballs to look at your dick!

–Times Square

30-something man: Waaaaait, did they say "dick in cider" or "dick inside her"?

–7th St & St. Mark's

Overheard by: Juicy

High school kid: I wish I had two dicks. (pause) So both of my hands have something to do in class.

–Q27 Bus Stop

Overheard by: cough.cough.cough

Woman on phone: It's not about you, it's about your small dick.

–Times Square

Girl to friend: So you're going to tutor his dick, right?

–University & 10th St

Posted on March 4, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Balls, Body Parts, Bouncers, Couples, Erections, Frat Boys, Friends, Girls, Height, Hobos, Masturbation, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Penis, Queer guys, Questions, School and studying, Sex, The Bronx, The Village, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Waxing, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women, Words

Not Chosen Good, But Good Nonetheless.

Hassidic Jew in front of Mitzvah Mobile: Excuse me sir, are you Jewish?
British guy: No, I'm good, thanks!

–Union Square West

Overheard by: not jewish

Posted on March 3, 2009
Brits, Jews, Judaism, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

I Don't Wanna Have to Hold Your Head While You Cry Again

Punk girlfriend: What movie do you want to see?
Punk boyfriend: How about Definitely Maybe?
Punk girlfriend: I don't know…seems kinda chick-flicky.

–Austin St, Queens

Posted on March 3, 2009
Couples, Film, Gender issues, Punks, Queens, Questions

Challenge: Read This without Googling the Video

Hot girl: Did you see the videos online of Florence Henderson wiping dog poop on some girl's face?
Even hotter girl: No, what the hell are you talking about?
Hot girl: Some video on YouTube.

–Rockefeller Center

Posted on March 1, 2009
Bimbettes, Body Parts, Internet, Man's Best Friend, Poop, Questions, Rockefeller Center

I Could Move One Arm Slightly, But That Was About It

Ghetto boy #1: Hey, honey, how old are you?
Ghetto girl: I'm sixteen.
Ghetto boy #1: Hey, you wanna trade phone numbers or aim or something?
Ghetto girl: No, thanks. (leaves)
Ghetto boy #2: Ooooooh. Damn.
Ghetto boy #1: Shut up, Justin! At least I don't date ugly-ass hos like you!
Ghetto boy #2: What about Veronica?
Ghetto boy #1: I only fucked Veronica cause I was trapped!
Ghetto boy #2: Nigga, how you be trapped?
Ghetto boy #1: Fuck, man, she weighs 300 pounds!

–Pizza Place, St. Mark's Place

Posted on March 1, 2009
Age/Aging, Beauty, Boys, Diet/Weight, Ghetto Chicks, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Union Square and East Village

It's Better Than The Da Vinci Code

Young man in line for ticket machine to old man walking away with no ticket: Is the machine broken?
Old man (seriously): No, I was just reading the screen.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Hilariter

Posted on March 1, 2009
Old People, Penn Station, Public Transportation, Questions, Strangers, Weirdness

Instead Of Wearing Ratty T-Shirts, I'd Have to Wear Gucci Ratty T-Shirts

Girl: I can't take the $100,000.
Guy: Why not?
Girl: Cause being poor is a part of who I am.

–Columbia Medical Center

Overheard by: Philips Loh

Posted on February 28, 2009
Girls, Guys, Hospitals, Money & Class, Questions, Weirdness

Like, Elizabeth Taylor Sad

Blonde in stilettos: My boss told me that she slept with Mick Jagger.
Blonde in pumps: Recently?
Blonde in stilettos: No, back when he was beautiful.
Blonde in pumps: He was beautiful?
Blonde in stilettos: In the sixties.
Blonde in pumps: That's so sad.

–Marquee's

Posted on February 28, 2009
Age/Aging, Bars & Clubs, Beauty, Girls, Music, Questions

Fine, I'm Pee-Shy, Okay?

Little girl in stall with her mother: Are you going to go?
Mother: No.
Little girl: You aren't going to go?
Mother: No.
Little girl: You aren't going to go?
Mother: No, I don't have to go.
Little girl: But you said you had to go!
Mother: I changed my mind.
Little girl: That's not something you can change your mind about!

–Ladies' Room, Saks Fifth Avenue

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Posted on February 28, 2009
Family Ties, Kids, Moms, Pee, Questions, Should've Used a Condom, Store

Questions