Wednesday One-Liners Click “It’s Complicated”

Chick: It’s about your cyber personality, and if your cyber personality doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me on Facebook, that’s okay!

–NYU Hayden Staircase

Coed: I don’t know… if Sheryl* with the two kids by the two different baby-daddies can have a good MySpace, I think pretty much anyone should be able to do it.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: ImmaculatePizza

Hipster girl: It looks like MySpace exploded in there!

–The Knitting Factory, 74 Leonard St

Overheard by: Cassie

20-something girl: So, the quadriplegic I hooked up with added me as a friend on Facebook last night.

–Chipotle, 51st & 8th

Geek prophet: No one is ever away from Google, really.

–Near Holland Tunnel

Overheard by: Claire H.

Angry chick, to boyfriend: Look, I’m not changing my Facebook status!

–6th & Ave A

Overheard by: Kremilyse

30-ish woman: I said I wouldn’t date him ’til he gets rid of the typos on his MySpace profile… Am I a snob?

–Tom’s Diner, Morningside Heights

Overheard by: ball-and-veining tool

Posted on July 3, 2015
Baby Mama/Daddy, Bars & Clubs, Default, Facebook, Foreigners, Girls, Google, Handicaps, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hipsters, Hunter, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Myspace, NYU, Philosophy, Preachers, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Street, Students, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Washington Square Park, Weirdness, Women

Now It’s “Intentional”

Girl: I really enjoy going to movies by myself these days. Most of the guys I date, we don’t have same taste in movies.
Guy: That’s a great idea. Plus, you don’t get some weirdo trying to
“inadvertantly” place your hand on his cock.

–L train

Overheard by: Vivian

Posted on July 1, 2015
Body Parts, Dating, Movie Theaters, Movies, On the Subway, Pop Culture, Relationships, Sex & Relationships, Stupidity

Oh, These Guys Would Respect You Like Crazy

Asian yuppie: I’m so tired of his bullshit. I’m done. Like seriously. Who the fuck tells his ex: “Hey, I’m going to ask this chick out, you think it’s a good idea?” That bastard!
White yuppie: Wow, no respect at all.
Asian yuppie: I know.
White yuppie: We should go out for drinks, I know a lot of guy friends who would do anything to have sex with you.
Asian yuppie: I don’t need to get laid…
White yuppie: Blasphemy!
Asian yuppie: Ok. You’re right, maybe I do need to get laid.

–Grand Central Station

Posted on June 30, 2015
Advice, Asians, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Grand Central, Insults, Questions, Relationships, White People, Wishes & desires, Yuppies

I Also Love Gravity Bongs and Our Lord Jesus Christ

Boyfriend: This song was in ‘Beavis and Butt-head do America’!
Girlfriend: Yeah?
Boyfriend: I love that movie … And I love you.

–Dunkin Donuts, 26th & 7th

Overheard by: Kai Nagai-Rothe

Posted on June 30, 2015
Boyfriends, Couples, Default, Girlfriends, Love, Movies, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Music, Nice People, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes

Sounds More Like King-sized

Girl: The last guy she slept with was eleven inches.
Guy: Well, she is from Queens.

–N train

Posted on June 30, 2015
Body Parts, On the Subway, Queens, Relationships, Sex, Sex & Relationships

Ooo, Let's Become Blood Sisters!

Girl #1: So I told her she should totally come to the beach on Saturday, and you know what she said? She said she can't… she has her “lady friend.” And I was like “hello, tampon.”
Girl #2: I'm so over those.
Girl #1: That's what she said too.
Girl #2: Word!

–Bathroom, Central Park Playground

Overheard by: Heather

Posted on June 30, 2015
Central Park, Girls, Gossip, Menstruation, Parks, Relationships

This Price Ain’t Right

Woman: I’ll give you one up the butt if you let me be a stay at home mom.
Man: Once for every year you stay home.
Woman: Once per child.
Man: Once for every two years, or I’ll be the stay at home.
Woman: Fine.

–Astor Place

Posted on June 30, 2015
Backdoor, Manhattan, Relationships, Sex, Sex & Relationships, The Village

There’s Even a Website for It

Teen girl: You know, relationships are a lot like the British government. The queen thinks she’s in charge, but the prime minister has all the power.
Teen boy: I wonder if people in the real world are subjected to this kind of conversation.

–Stuyvesant High School, Chambers Street

Posted on June 28, 2015
Fast Times at New York High, Manhattan, Relationships, Sex & Relationships, Stupidity, Stuyvesant, Teens, Travel, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

At the End Of the Day, It's All About Big Bits

(about the Sex and the City movie)
Woman #1 : Yeah, I never saw the series but I think I'll still understand the movie.
Woman #2: Oh, yeah. I watched the whole series 'til the end.
Woman #1: Which one's Carrie?
Woman #2: Sarah Parker is Carrie. Yeah, and she was with this guy for a loooooong time. A loooong long time.
Woman #1: Yeah?
Woman #2: Yeah, they call him “Mista bits.”
Woman #1: What do they call him?
Woman #2: Mista bits.

–Downtown E Train

Overheard by: E

Posted on June 27, 2015
About Celebrities, Default, Nicknames & name calling, On the Subway, Questions, Relationships, Rockefeller Center, TV, Women

It Was a “Five Finger Discount” in Every Sense Of the Word

Drunk girl: I'm totally into “Wham, bam, thank you mam.” People think it's trashy but I just wanna get mine.
Less drunk girl: I like to have relationships, make them work for it. I mean, what do you get out of a one-night-stand?
Drunk girl: One time I stole the guy's watch.

–LIRR

Posted on June 26, 2015
Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Girls, One Night Stand, Questions, Relationships, Thievery, Trains Not Subway, Weirdness

Relationships