Wednesday Pick-Up-Liners

Guy, bumping into girlfriend as bus lurches: Sorry baby, that’s gravity. I can’t help it, I’m physically attracted to you.

–M116 Bus

Overheard by: I hate the bus

Construction worker hitting on young girl: Hey baby, you are too cute to be so pretty!

–Allen & East Houston

Black bag seller to passerby: Hey sweetheart, you wanna buy a bag today? I’ll tell you what, you buy a bag and I’ll give you my number for free.

–33rd & Broadway

Man to teenage girls: Do you and your friends like to wrestle? I swear to god I could take you all.

–Times Square

Overheard by: yearbookie

Homie to friends: They say in the old days you couldn’t even holler at a woman cause she wouldn’t answer you.

–South Williamsburg

Overheard by: DanielXY

Homeless man to cute passerby: Nice knees.

–Central Park

Posted on August 12, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Apologies, Beauty, Black People, Body Parts, Boyfriends, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Construction Guys, Friends, Gender issues, History & Geography, Hobos, Love, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nice People, Offers and requests, On the Bus, Orgy, Parks, Physical appearance, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Relationships, Shopping, Street, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Vendors & Street Performers, Weirdness, Williamsburg

It’s Pronounced Gonorrhea

Teen girl: Whenever I like a guy I get diarrhea.

–8th Ave. & 16th St.

Overheard by: Kevin Allan

Posted on August 10, 2015
Manhattan, Poop, Relationships, Sex & Relationships, Teens

But I Eat You Anyway

Girl: And sometimes I just don't like seafood, you know?
Guy: Sometimes, I just don't like you.

–67th St & Lexington

Overheard by: Liz

Posted on August 9, 2015
Food, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Relationships, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

And Clean the Grout Between His Shower Tiles

High school girl #1: Did you see Juno?
High school girl #2: Oh my god! I loved it! Especially that song they sang!
High school girl #1: I know! I always try to get my boyfriend to sing like that with me, but he just tells me to get on my knees.

–79th & Lex

Posted on August 7, 2015
BJs, Default, Girls, Movies, Music, Offers and requests, Questions, Relationships, Teens, Upper East Side

…But, Um, I Assumed He Was Passed Out the Whole Time

Girl #1: Okay so like, I wasn’t going to tell you guys but Ed* and I really did have sex last night… I was lying on the phone.
Girl #2: But we knew that already! Ed* called me crying this morning because he thought he took advantage of you.
Girl #3: Ok… this is weird.

–9th St & 5th Ave

Posted on August 1, 2015
Crying, Default, Friends, Friendship, Girls, Lies, Relationships, Sex, The Village, Weirdness

And, Most Importantly, I'm Watching Grey's Anatomy

Very gay guy #1: What are you doing now?
Very gay guy #2: I'm heading home. My ex-wife is meeting me there to sign the divorce papers. She doesn't even know I'm gay yet.

–Spring & Broadway

Posted on July 31, 2015
Default, Gays and Lesbians, Queer guys, Questions, Relationships, Soho

Yeah, That’s What I’ll Miss the Most

Guy #1: He left me yesterday.
Guy #2: What a cock sucker.

–E 2nd St & Gravesend Neck Rd

Posted on July 30, 2015
Breaking Up, Brooklyn, Gays and Lesbians, Nicknames & name calling, Queer guys, Relationships

And I Love You, Horns and All

Guy: I am really excited about our trip to Germany in the summer. We have to make sure to stop in Frankfurt to meet my family.
Girl: I am kind of nervous about meeting your grandfather since your mom said he was a Nazi and I am Jewish.
Guy: My grandfather is just a mild Nazi. He only believes in the conspiracy theories about Jews.
Girl: Well, I don’t care that your grandfather’s a Nazi. I love you.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Cannelle

Posted on July 30, 2015
Family Ties, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Hitler/Nazis, Love, On the Subway, Relationships, Tourism, Travel, Wishes & desires

The Superfluous Eruditeness Of Wednesday One-Liners

Pompous, insane English professor: Right now I am being plagued by a contagion, but I will return your reports anon.

–Barnard College

Student, to friend who just bashed the side of his head: What the hell? You're hurting my ganglia!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: John David

Black mom to teen daughter walking away from her: No, you get back here and listen to what I'm sayin! You gotta pay attention–niggas be instigatin!

–Nassau & Fulton

Overheard by: Tigertail

First year legal scholar: I feel like our relationship is terminated for perpetuity.

–Grand Central

Overheard by: bunbury

Yuppie on phone: Wait. (pause) Bruhaha, right?

–70th & Broadway

Posted on July 28, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Body Parts, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Crazies, Friends, Grand Central, Illness, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Questions, Relationships, Street, Students, Teachers/Professors, Teens, Time, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Words, Yuppies

It’s the Default Option

Chick #1: So, what do you think?
Chick #2: It’s…
Chick #1: It’s complicated.
Chick #2: Yeah, it’s complicated.
Chick #1: I need to change my Facebook profile. Is ‘It’s complicated’ an option for relationship status?
Chick #2: Yeah.
Chick #1: Good.

–73rd & Columbus

Overheard by: Vicksburg

Posted on July 25, 2015
Girls, Internet, Relationships

Relationships