School and studying

Anthony Michael Hall: “Can I Borrow Your Wednesday One-Liners for 10 Minutes?”

Professor: They make disposable everything these days. Disposable diapers, disposable razors. They even make edible underwear, don't they? (class is silent) Yes! They do! (pause) Maybe I'm telling you more about myself than I should be…

–Wagner College

Girl: Wait, my panties!

–Franklin St

Guy on phone: I told you to take your thong off!

–60th & Columbus

Man: I do not want to know your bra size! Ever!

–Hunter College

Overheard by: Christina M.

Guy on cell: He wore boxers and it was like, "okay, so you hang to the left…"

–W 46th St

Older gentleman to lady friend: If this keeps up, I'm going to have to start wearing underwear.

–14th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Kat

Wasn’t There Some Kind Of Angel with a Turkey Baster?

Teen girl: You know what I don’t get?
Preppy friend: What?
Teen girl: If Mary was a virgin, how did she get pregnant?
Preppy friend: Uh…I think a white dove came down and landed on her.
Teen girl: … And where did it land?
Preppy friend: On her shoulder.
Teen girl: So a dove–
Preppy friend: A white dove. Impregnated mary on her shoulder. Yeah.
Teen girl: Who told you that?
Preppy friend: Sara, in Geometry.
Teen girl: … Sara is Jewish, you idiot!

–McDonald’s, Park Ave

Alanis Is Not Alone In Her Misunderstanding Of Irony

Girl #1: I think I'm gonna cut his class today.
Girl #2: Yeah, me too, it's just going to be some dumb lesson on women's rights.

–Frank Sinatra High School

From The Weakest Link: Classroom Version

Professor: So if we were to write a speech on the American Civil War, what could some topics be?
Student: The different countries involved?

–Pace University

After a While, I Drop Out

Drunk sorority girl: Did you go to private school or public school?
Drunk frat guy: I went to private school… But I fuck like I went to public school.

–Soundz Lounge, 123rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Kimberly King Parsons

Who Makes a Paper Due on a Sunday?

Overly excited 20-something girl: It's Valentine's Day on Sunday.
Less excited friend: I know, I have a paper due then.

–Grand Central Station

I Assume We'll Be Studying Each Others' Anatomy?

Girl #1: Oh my god! We should definitely get together over the summer to study for the MCATs!
Girl #2: Yeah! That way, we'll actually have somewhat of a social life!

–Bard High School Early College

Wednesday One-Liners in Elbow-Patch Blazers

Professor: So I told my grad students they could have an A if they earned it, or if they beat me in a 12-minute cage fight.

–Fordham Universityy

Israeli politics professor, after class: There's enough Tylenol out there to take care of your hangovers after Purim. So, all your sorry little asses better be in this class at three o'clock, Wednesday afternoon.

–Yeshiva University

English professor: Yeah, the end of the poem relates to the beginning. Every good poem has a return… just like a good walk.

–Hunter college

Professor: Of course there was marital harmony! As we all know, the family who cuts drugs together, stays together.

–Fordham Law School

Overheard by: EntertainedStudent

Professor: An example of synecdoche would be, "get your ass over here." You want all of them, not just their ass. But sometimes, you do just want their ass. And we all know how that goes. But that sort of thing doesn't happen in a classroom… usually.

–NYU

Overheard by: queenofscots

A Torso Came Out Nine Months Later

HS girl #1: What time is it?
HS girl #2: 8:25.
HS girl #1: Ha, I missed half my period! Ew, that sounded nasty!

–3 train

As Real As NYU Gets, Nowadays.

Female NYU student: Like, my mom went to NYU. Like, when it was real.
Male student: Yeah, my dad went to NYU.
Female NYU student: Like, before Stern was called Stern, and it got shut down by the government because it was like, communist.
Female NYU student: I haven't showered in like, two days. I like, stink. I can smell myself.

–Cooper Square

Overheard by: saucy jade

© 2026 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist