Girl #1: I think I'm gonna cut his class today.
Girl #2: Yeah, me too, it's just going to be some dumb lesson on women's rights.
–Frank Sinatra High School
Girl #1: I think I'm gonna cut his class today.
Girl #2: Yeah, me too, it's just going to be some dumb lesson on women's rights.
–Frank Sinatra High School
Professor: So if we were to write a speech on the American Civil War, what could some topics be?
Student: The different countries involved?
–Pace University
Drunk sorority girl: Did you go to private school or public school?
Drunk frat guy: I went to private school… But I fuck like I went to public school.
–Soundz Lounge, 123rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Kimberly King Parsons
Overly excited 20-something girl: It's Valentine's Day on Sunday.
Less excited friend: I know, I have a paper due then.
–Grand Central Station
Girl #1: Oh my god! We should definitely get together over the summer to study for the MCATs!
Girl #2: Yeah! That way, we'll actually have somewhat of a social life!
–Bard High School Early College
Professor: So I told my grad students they could have an A if they earned it, or if they beat me in a 12-minute cage fight.
–Fordham Universityy
Israeli politics professor, after class: There's enough Tylenol out there to take care of your hangovers after Purim. So, all your sorry little asses better be in this class at three o'clock, Wednesday afternoon.
–Yeshiva University
English professor: Yeah, the end of the poem relates to the beginning. Every good poem has a return… just like a good walk.
–Hunter college
Professor: Of course there was marital harmony! As we all know, the family who cuts drugs together, stays together.
–Fordham Law School
Overheard by: EntertainedStudent
Professor: An example of synecdoche would be, "get your ass over here." You want all of them, not just their ass. But sometimes, you do just want their ass. And we all know how that goes. But that sort of thing doesn't happen in a classroom… usually.
–NYU
Overheard by: queenofscots
HS girl #1: What time is it?
HS girl #2: 8:25.
HS girl #1: Ha, I missed half my period! Ew, that sounded nasty!
–3 train
Female NYU student: Like, my mom went to NYU. Like, when it was real.
Male student: Yeah, my dad went to NYU.
Female NYU student: Like, before Stern was called Stern, and it got shut down by the government because it was like, communist.
Female NYU student: I haven't showered in like, two days. I like, stink. I can smell myself.
–Cooper Square
Overheard by: saucy jade
Girl on cell: Yeah, so he was kicked out of college. It’s kind of a long story. He like, pulled a knife on George Lucas.
–Barnard College
Curly-haired chick: If we go, like, cowboy/Indian, you’re supposed to be giving me smallpox blankets and liquor, and I’m supposed to hold a knife to your scalp. Hmmm.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Girl (yelling at other girl): Just because he cuts himself doesn’t mean he’s emo!
–Brooklyn Tech HS
16-year-old to another: If Dane Cook was here, he would stab you in the chest.
–The Beacon School
Gay man to female friend: I’m gonna cut out your G-spot with a butter knife and stick it to the wall.
–Dojo Resaurant
Tall, muscular, handsome guy on cell: My night turned out pretty crazy… Why? Because this chick drew a knife on me in the restaurant before we even finished the appetizers… And I blame you for that.
–Grand Army Plaza
Overheard by: wishes she would have been there…
Tween boy #1: Man, I don’t like your school.
Tween boy #2: I know. They’re all like Rob Zombie there, but none of them are zombies — they’re all gay.
–C train
Overheard by: Betty Noir
