Teacher #1: We could videotape each other.
Teacher #2: And then we could put different names on them.
–Teacher’s lounge
Teacher #1: We could videotape each other.
Teacher #2: And then we could put different names on them.
–Teacher’s lounge
Teacher: What country do we live in?
Very enthusiastic little boy: The United States of New York!
Teacher, a few minutes later: Can someone name a state outside of New York?
Very enthusiastic little boy: Brooklyn!
–First grade classroom, the Bronx
Black teen #1: See ya later.
Black teen #2: Cheerio, nigga.
–School, 17th St
Overheard by: John
Teacher: So, as you can see, this car in the picture reduces air resistance and can accelerate faster.
Student #1, chuckling: Yeah, and plus, it’s yellow, so that makes it faster, too.
Teacher, laughing: Haha, yeah, very true.
Student #2: Wait, really?
–Physics class, St. Ann’s School
Overheard by: Mike N
Blonde chick: Oh my god, so there’s this playwright who died, and they’re like, putting on a re-… re-… Well, like, whatever it’s called, they’re putting it on. They’re reading some lines. But anyway, like, her brother who, like, my dad like, used to work with — well, he’s dead, too. And I’m like, ‘Why are you hanging out with your girlfriend’s daughter when I’m your real daughter?’
Friend: Oh my god, you should totally bitch him out.
Blonde chick: Oh, I will.
–Elevator, NYU residence hall
NYU student: I feel like the professor didn’t scare me enough about the final exam y’know? So then, like, I didn’t get nervous enough, so then I didn’t study enough, so then I didn’t do well on it, y’know? So, like, it’s really my professor’s fault, y’know?
–Korean deli, 13th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Joseph O’Connell
Cop: Yeah, the open-book exam? I passed it on appeal.
–45th & Broadway
Guy on cell: … Fucked me, dude. Fucked me hard. Bent me over the desk and rammed a bluebook right up my ass. Sooo fuckin’ hard…
–Union Square
Guy: I should have studied for this final… But the tequila was so good!
–NYU Silver Center
Student to professor during final: Do you want us to use our intelligence or follow the instructions?
–Columbia University
Grey-haired middle-aged man on cell: 40 grand for a suck. No… 40 grand, and I’ll suck your dick.
–Fashion District
Man on cell: What about the licking? Did you practice licking? I can’t teach you anything if you don’t practice. You have to practice the licking if you want to do it right.
–78th St & 37th Ave
Overheard by: Jillian
Homeless woman: Everyone on this train eats pussy! Guys, girls, all ya’ll!
–2 train
Overheard by: Macaire
Ghetto dude: Do you see that building? Do you see that building? That’s NYU. It took me 26 years to get my degree there. And what am I doing? Still sucking white dick.
–Bleecker & Mercer
Overheard by: Jay
Guy on cell: Yeah, man, this chick just gave me a blowjob. She was like, ‘Are you on Restless?’ And I was like, ‘Yeah,’ and then she dropped to her knees!
–2nd & 2nd
Overheard by: wishing i did soaps
Suit on cell: On one hand, you’re married, and I don’t need that kind of drama. On the other hand, you do owe me a blowjob.
–Wall St, 2-3 stop atrium
Overheard by: did he get a receipt?
Girl #1: That is such a cute shirt.
Girl #2: Thanks, but it’s actually a dress.
Girl #1: Is it?
Girl #2: Well, I hope so, because I’m not wearing any pants.
–NYU
Teen girl #1: So, I was talking to her and I said, ‘You’re lucky you’re a minority, because you can get more scholarships for college.’ And she told her friend, and now I’m a ‘racist.’ What the fuck?
Teen girl #2: How is that racist? It’s true! I don’t see a ‘United White Girls College Fund.’
Teen girl #3: It’s called ‘affirmative action.’ Look it up.
Teen girl #1: And why would I be racist? I love black people! I listen to rap.
–Brooklyn High School
Professor: I’ve heard from students that have taken my exams that they’re generally considered thinking exams. Rather than just have you recite the law, I try to throw questions in there that will make you examine the policies behind it… Yes?
Law student: What would you say the ratio of thinking questions to normal questions is going to be?
Professor: Hmmm… Really, I don’t know if I can answer that. I mean, what to one person would be a thinking-type question, to another might not be, you know? [Same student raises hand again.] Usually I’m reluctant to let a person who asks a question like that ask another question, so let me ask you first — how many of your questions are thinking-type questions?
–Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law
