Woman #1: You have to thank Brian for these photos for us.
Woman #2: Don’t worry, I’ll just sit on his face.
–Q train
Woman #1: You have to thank Brian for these photos for us.
Woman #2: Don’t worry, I’ll just sit on his face.
–Q train
Suit: I’m always really careful when I eat so I don’t have to take it up the ass when I go to the dry cleaner.
–Organic Grill, 1st Avenue
Man: I’m telling you, what you should do is take a picture of yourself naked now and then in about two, three months, take another one and compare. Maybe keep doing that, you know? Keep a photo album documenting it. I think you should.
–F train
Overheard by: Jenni Unicorn
Man on cell: Okay, I gotta go ’cause I’m fucking sweating my dick off.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Kevin Kilroy
College guy: Have you ever jacked off with your feet?
–TKTS, Duffy Square
Guy on cell: I have a blood clot in my asshole!
–15th & 3rd
Woman: He’s a good friend, but the sex is pretty awful. He a good kisser, but he has trouble further than that. I’m just not his type. I don’t have a penis.
–West 4th Street station
Overheard by: Rachel Adler
Puerto Rican guy: Second-best feeling in the world. First is sex. I
guarantee it.
–Barnes & Noble men’s room, Union Square
Guy: And as I walked out the door I said to her, “One last thing – if your pussy is so good, why don’t you eat it yourself?”
–33rd & Park
Worker: … Just stick it in your pocket. I mean, seven inches isn’t bad.
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: EthanK
Guy: So I tried to set my password to "Penis".
Girl: […]Guy: It said my password wasn’t long enough.
–66th & Broadway
College kid to girlfriend: You make me feel sometimes like ten inches isn’t enough.
–12th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Strand Customer
Asian girl on cell: It’s six inches. [Laughs.] Wait… What’s six inches?
–CUNY Queensborough
Drunk guy pissing against wall, on cell: I got my dick out at 14th street! Yeah, it’s 14 inches!
–Union Square
Man on pay phone: Naw, naw! You gotta tell him! We ain’t down with the broomstick!
–4th Street & 7th Avenue
Overheard by: Earl Holloway
Loud girl to friend: Tell them you want fuckable hair! Fuckable hair!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Girl to friend: You mean her boob-look hair puff?
–52nd St & 6th Ave
Ghetto woman to another: Why he be mooning everyone with that hairy ass?
–53rd & Lexington
Overheard by: tommy a
Man to friend: I'm Mexican, man; I was *born* with a mustache.
–Grand & Orchard
Girl, enunciatively: I support chest hair!
–Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: DI
Girlfriend: The last thing on the list is pantyhose.
Boyfriend: Pantyhose? I didn't know you wore pantyhose.
Girlfriend: I don't in the summer, because summer is the time to be free and relaxed, but now it's cold and I need to keep warm.
Boyfriend: If you are so free and relaxed in the summer, why are we having sex more now?
Girlfriend: Because now it's cold and I need to keep warm.
–Duane Reade
Guy #1: Look at that. His front arms are so small.
Guy #2: Why do you think he looks so angry? He couldn’t whack off.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Corey F
Girl: So I met a cute boy this weekend.
Queer: Oh really?
Girl: Well, I met him a year ago, but this weekend I really met him.
Queer: You met a cute boy this weekend that you’ve known for a year?
Girl: Yeah…
Queer: Oh. So you fucked him for the first time!
–Chelsea Market, 9th Avenue
Overheard by: Aria Grillo
Queer #1: So, what do you want to do tonight?
Queer #2: I don't know, what do you want to do?
Queer #1: I want to have sex tonight!
Queer #2: You want to have sex with me!
Queer #1: No, with a stranger!
Queer #2: Well…we could put a brown bag over my head!
–17th & 7th Cafeteria
