Chicks with Wednesday One-Liners!

Chick on cell: In the past three weeks, I've been to more tranny-hosted parties than non-tranny hosted parties.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

Mini-Asian teen: Well he's not a real man in the sense that he has a penis, or like, male reproductive organs.

–6 Train

Loud woman: I can't tell whether he's a lesbian or just gay.

–Bamboo 52

Overheard by: Aidan

Angry man: Suck my pussy dick!

–Canal St

Overheard by: Kaitlen

Black woman to group of friends, after watching an attractive black man walk by: Mmmmm, he so fine! I wanna stick my dick up that ass!

–Duane Reade

Bum on subway: (singing) when I go into space, I'ma take a stripper wit' me!
(woman puts a dollar bill in his cup)
Bum: I'ma take a trannie too, but the trannie cost extra!
(man puts a dollar in his cup)
Bum: La dee da!

–L Train from Williamsburg

Posted on July 30, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Black People, Celebrations/Parties, Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Duane Reade, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Homeless, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, Penis, Sexuality, Soho, Store, Teens, Trannies, Vagina, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women, Words

25% Of All New Yorkers Have Wednesday One-Liners

Thug on cell: Wait, so you said you needed something for herpes? (pause) I said, you need something for your herpes? (pause) Well, I smoked a little before I came over here…

–Harlem Rite Aid

Man: Your wife! Your wife! Richard Dawkins is gonna get herpes from your wife!

–French Roast, 86th & Broadway

Overheard by: zdog

Girl on cell wearing a Puerto Rican flag bandana: I dunno, I mean, I just can't keep doing this. I don't want to get herpes again.

–Bleecker & Mercer

Overheard by: JLief

Girl on subway to friend: I've never looked at you and thought you looked like you had herpes.

–E Train

Mother to tween daughter, ecstatically hugging friend: Remember, girls: No sharing saliva. That's how you get herpes and ruin your summer.

–3rd & 92nd

Overheard by: rebecca

Posted on July 30, 2008
About Celebrities, Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Friends, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Latinos, Men, Moms, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, STDs, Store, The Village, Thugs, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wishes & desires

When I Try It, I Come Away with Cold Sores and Shame

Tween girl to friends: Did you know kissing is good for your health?
Cashier lady: Kissing *who*?

–Loehmann’s Upper West Side

Posted on July 21, 2008
Cashiers, Default, Friends, Girls, Health and Hygiene, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Questions, Store, Tweens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Women

Just Like I Only Make Fun of Blacks For the Color of Their Skin

Salesman: Ah, so soly. Mr. Wong not in today.
Saleswomen: My boyfriend’s Asian. Don’t make fun of them.
Salesman: I’m not making fun of them. I’m making fun of the way they talk.

–Sales Department, SoHo

Posted on July 19, 2008
9 to 5-ers, Compare/Contrast, Coworkers, Default, Languages, Laughter, Offers and requests, Race, Relationships, Soho, Store

But It Took Her 20 Tries to Get It Right

Teenage girl #1: I feel so bad so bad for her.
Teenage girl #2: Why? She brought it upon herself, I didn’t tell her to snort that coke, I didn’t tell her to roll up that $20 bill and put it in her nose.
Teenage girl #3: Let’s be honest now, it was probably only $1.

–Forever 21, Union Square

Posted on July 10, 2008
Cocaine, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Money & Class, Store, Teens, Union Square and East Village

No, But I Play One on TV

Clerk #1: Man, that’s why medicine has a expiration date. The ingredients go inactive.
Clerk #2: Nigga, are you a licensed physician or somethin’?

–Blockbuster, Broadway & 93rd

Posted on July 10, 2008
Clerks, Coworkers, Default, Jobs & Careers, Medicine, Questions, Science, Store, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

At Least It Complements Your Syrupy Sweetness

Woman in stall #1: I hate it when this happens!
Woman in stall #2: What?
Woman in stall #1: These pants! They looked so nice but they flatten my ass. My ass is flat now. I look like pancake ass!

–Fitting Room, Staten Island

Posted on July 7, 2008
Ass, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Default, Gripes, Physical appearance, Stall Spies, Staten Island, Store, Women

The Side Of Jared Subway Doesn’t Want You to See

Guy #1: Yo, man. I lost seven pounds. Can you believe it?
Guy #2: Oh yeah? Really?
Guy #1: Yeah, I got a fuckin’ shoestring on my pants.
Guy #2: Uh…
Guy #1: I don’t like this. I liked being fat.

–CVS, Allerton

Overheard by: Lee

Posted on July 5, 2008
Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Default, Diet/Weight, Guys, Questions, Store, The Bronx

Two Girls, One Stradivarius Probably Isn’t Appropriate, Then

Woman: Do you have any books on violins?
Sales guy: Well, we don’t have a lot about playing them, but we have some about the sensuality of it.
Woman: It’s for a child.
Sales guy: Oh.

–Borders, 57th & Park Ave