Chick #1: I have a friend who lives in Manhattan, but she totally hates it.
Chick #2: Why?
Chick #1: She says everyone here is so superficial. She’s going to move to California.
–Greyhound bus, W 110th
Overheard by: Caroline
Chick #1: I have a friend who lives in Manhattan, but she totally hates it.
Chick #2: Why?
Chick #1: She says everyone here is so superficial. She’s going to move to California.
–Greyhound bus, W 110th
Overheard by: Caroline
Tourist: Are you selling those?
Guy with fake handbags: Of course not! We’re the police.
–Church & Fulton
Female employee #1: Have you seen the “Save Darfur” shirts? I want one.
Female employee #2: No.
(after ten minutes)
Female employee #1: See? Here’s the “Save Darfur” shirt. I really want one.
Female employee #2: What’s that?
Female employee #1: “Save Darfur”.
Female employee #2: What?
Female employee #1: You know, in Africa, where all that genocide is happening…
Female employee #2: Oh. (pause) I love the color!
Female employee #1: Yeah.
–Dressing Room, Urban Outfitters, 72nd Street & Broadway
Overheard by: ewg
Older woman to friend: Down there where the servants are, you know, where the gardening people and the kitchen is, I don't go there. I just don't go there.
–38th & 5th
Overheard by: garden in manhattan?
Greek Princess shopping for wedding rings: This isn't the more expensive ring I wanted but we just bought an apartment in the 70s.
–Tiffany's Second Floor
Overprivileged teenage girl on cell: The bourgeoisie… The bourgeoisie are like, the common people.
–Union Square
College girl: No, I mean seriously: who, by the age of 25, has not been to Rome or Florence?
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Dan
Six-year-old: Mommy, how do you spell "Forbes"?
–Restaurant, Upper East Side
Overheard by: jess
Girl #1: What kind of food are we having?
Girl #2: Italian.
Girl #1: No, I mean what nationality?
–L train
Overheard by: Eric Beers
Blonde #1: I feel like I didn’t apply to enough colleges. [Looks at poster of the University of Chicago] Oooh, Chicago. I should go there.
Dude: You won’t get in.
Blonde #1, ignoring him: Where is Chicago, anyway? It’s a country, right? Ohhh, wait! I’m so stupid. It’s a state!
Blonde #2: Duh.
–College office, High School of Telecommunication Arts and Technology, Brooklyn
Overheard by: …If I didn’t get in, she shouldn’t even be applying
Party girl: Can you drink vodka if you're allergic to potatoes?
Pretty boy: Are you allergic to potatoes?
Party girl: No, I just wanna know.
Pretty boy: I don't know.
Party girl: Can you drink wine if you're allergic to grapes?
Pretty boy: Are you allergic to grapes?
Party girl: No…
–PATH
Overheard by: TR
Guy holding baby: I’ve decided I’m going to write a pop-up history of the ancient world, based on Herodotus. Should be great for babies.
–Strand Bookstore
American history tutor: The only dictator I know of is Hugo Chavez, and that’s because I met him.
–Jake’s Saloon, 57th & 10th
Overheard by: poor kid’s gonna fail that test
Rich mom with two kids: … And it was named after our country’s first president, Christopher Columbus.
–117th & Broadway
Overheard by: doesn’t get columbus day off
Guy to friend: If I can make it through the ’80s, I can make it through anything.
–Astor Pl
Overheard by: squishduck
Professor: Sigismondo Malatesta was the only person in history to ever be publicly consigned to Hell by the pope. Now, that’s when a pope was a pope. I wish the pope would just get on TV and say, ‘You’re going to Hell!’
–Fordham University – Rose Hill
Overheard by: Christina
Guy: Wait, have I ever told you guys about my irrational fear of the late 1800s?
–NYU dorm
Overheard by: Danimal
Conductor: Next stop, Lexington.
Four-year-old girl, cutting him off: Shut up! Shut up!
Mother: Who are you tellin to shut up?
Four-year-old girl: That man! We *know* where we is!
Conductor: Please stand clear of the closing doors.
Four-year-old girl: We know! This ain't the first time we rode a train, sir!
–N Train
Girl #1: I thought that sign said rape instead of rapaya.
Girl #2: It’s papaya, moron.
Girl #1: I don’t speak Spanish that well!
–32nd & 7th
