Ghetto girl #1: What are you staring at?!
Ghetto girl #2: That wasn't there before.
Ghetto girl #1: What?
Ghetto girl #2, very seriously: The Empire State Building!
–34th & 6th
Ghetto girl #1: What are you staring at?!
Ghetto girl #2: That wasn't there before.
Ghetto girl #1: What?
Ghetto girl #2, very seriously: The Empire State Building!
–34th & 6th
Guy in suit #1: Well, at least it's Thursday.
(short pause)
Guy in suit #2: It's Wednesday, dude.
Guy in suit #1: (incredibly deep sigh)
–M15 Bus
Overheard by: Jess
Barefoot hobo: World War II was the best day of my life til my big sista was born in 1812. That was them Spaniard War… (silence, then in a really loud voice) Dammit, who stole my chicken?
Nervous white woman to friend, whispering: That's what happens when you send your kids to public school… (a minute later) Did he even have chicken?
–F Train
Teacher #1: So I was talking to people in the admissions office, and they were talking about the answers to the question “Who is your favorite fictional character?” (pause) Hillary Clinton? Real. Gandhi? Also real. And Mulan?! I'd reject anyone who said Mulan.
Teacher #2: Maybe they meant Hillary in the sense of how she's depicted.
Teacher #1: That's stupid.
–City Center
Overheard by: Kyle
Black man passing out leaflets: And this woman here, you know she'd love to have a big black cock in her. Don't deny it, baby, you would.
–Outside Penn Station
Overheard by: unimpressed and skeptical
Girl to friend, unknowingly a few feet away from black guy: Thank god there's no black people on this street.
–Steinway St
Black TA, walking in five minutes before class: Oh my god, am I early? Oh, no! I'm going against my people's stereotype!
–Classroom, NYU
Overheard by: kpan
Asian guy to another, loudly: The black girl doesn't sound black. How do they do that?
–Uptown W Train
Queer to another: So I want to get dreadlocks, like black people.
–W 14th & 6th
Black lady to staring white kid: That's right little boy, this is what a black person looks like.
–Outside Toys R' Us, Times Square
Man to little boy: I can't believe you've never played tic-tac-toe with a chicken in Chinatown.
–52nd & Lexington
Overheard by: Ed
Hipster guy: I don't know though, I can't Indian give those chickens, can I?
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: BKLover
Older black man to himself, entering train with moving box: I got a live chicken in this box! I don't know why god gave me a chicken. He knows I don't know what to do with one. (a few minutes later) I'm gonna sell her to the butcher shop and they're going to cut that motherfucker up!
–Uptown A Train
Overheard by: Mawy
Serious man, seeing dog carrying shopping bad in teeth: I am going to train a dog like that. I will train it to bring me chicken.
–73rd St & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Large black dude to large black friend: Yo, man, I am so tired of chicken! I mean, yeah, I know, I'm black…but man, I ain't eating no chicken at that party man. Don't even bring no chicken by me, cause I ain't eating none. Matter of fact, I ain't eating no chicken for Black History Month. I'ma start the movement! No chicken for Black History Month!
–Downtown 2 Train
Overheard by: Kosi
Student to professor: Yeah, man, you know, because every time I slap you five, now I feel like I'm slapping your father's ass.
–Suffolk County Community College
Overheard by: Wish I was paying attention
Trashy sista' on cell: Did you know you've been nominated for an award? (pause) Yeah, I know! I mean, it's just nice to even be nominated, issa' honor. Yeah, you wanna know whacha been nominated for? You been nominated for the world's biggest deadbeat daddy!
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: I don't work here
Demi-bum to another, looking at postcards at a convenience store: Oh, I want to send a postcard to my father: Doing shitty, wish you cared!
–Fulton & Water
Teen girl to friend: Of course I got him tested!…but he wasn't the father either.
–145th & Broadway
Guard: Did you hear about that 9-year-old girl who gave birth to her own twin? I'm serious! It was inside her stomach and then she gave birth to it. And the craziest part is that the twin was from another father!
–74th & Madison
Latina girl to friend: You know, I don't even know what I saw in that loser. I should've dumped his ass the first time he tried hitting on my dad!
–58th & 6th
Overheard by: Tim J.
Upset four-year-old girl, looking at tapestries of unicorns: But mom!
Mother: These are fakes, silly. There are no real unicorns here. We're not at a zoo!
–The Cloisters
Overheard by: Rebecca
Woman at street vendor: I'll have a small coffee.
Vendor: We only have one size.
Woman: Well, I'll take the smallest size you have.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Siobhan
