Blonde: I love Cinco de Mayo!
Friend: Any excuse to drink is fine with me!
Blonde: Did you know that it's Mexico's Independence Day?
Friend: Doesn't everyone?
Blonde: I didn't. I just think it's so funny, because we don't even celebrate America's Independence Day.
Friend: What?
–Town Tavern
Overheard by: TJ
Woman #1: You totally should get knocked up by him. With the child support you'd get, you'd be set for life.
Woman #2: I know! Right?
–Gym, Columbia University
Overheard by: Alison R.
Middle-aged woman #1: Do you still see Paul and Adira?
Middle-aged woman #2: Well, I could call them any time.
Middle-aged woman #1: But then you'd have to have a relationship with them.
Middle-aged woman #2: It's not that I don't want to have a relationship with them…
(pause)
Middle-aged woman #1: But you don't want to have a relationship with them.
Middle-aged woman #2: Exactly.
–Columbus Circle
History geek: You laugh, but where would you be without the 18th century? The 20th century, not the 21st, that's where.
–New York Historical Society
Overheard by: Emily B.
Little boy looking at book about Presidents: I see John F. Kennedy, and I see Abraham Lincoln, and I see… what's his name? Hilary's wife?
–BookCourt, Brooklyn
20-something girl: There's this guy in my class who's like an Indian. But, I keep reading these things about how we were so horrible to the Indians and how there are none left, so where did he come from? Like, if there are none left, where did he come from?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Beth!
Woman to daughter: You know what Henry VIII ruled with? He ruled with his dick!
–Penn Station
Teenage girl on cell, yelling: Victorian era lesbians! Not Edwardian! Lesbians weren't nearly hot enough in the Edwardian era! Yeah, we should probably watch it together.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: I really hope it's porn
Dumb woman looking at Chinese takeout menu: Chicken and rice soup. What's in it?
Confused woman behind counter: Chicken and rice.
Dumb woman: In a soup?
Confused woman: Yeeaah. That's why it's called “chicken and rice soup.”
Dumb woman: Okay, I'll have that.
–E 23rd St b/w Park Ave & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Janine
Blind man: Alright, man, I'll see ya tomorrow.
Friend: You won't see nothing, you're blind!
Blind man: Shut up!
–23rd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Amanda
Man #1: Excuse me, do you know when this post office closes?
Woman: I don't know.
Man #2: I think it's open all the time. It doesn't close.
Woman: You mean it's open 48 hours?
–Post Office, 32nd & 8th
Overheard by: EthanK
Man #1: This is it, Times Square!
Man #2: Oh, so is this where time started?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Zack
Italian teen #1: Why don't we just wait in line like everyone else?
Italian teen #2: Cause we aren't like everybody else. We have fathers!
–W 3rd & Sullivan St
Overheard by: Ronnie
Brunette, looking at menu: What's cream sauce?
Blonde: I don't know, but I feel like it's really bad for you.
Brunette: Yeah, you're right. I'm getting fries.
–Cafeteria, Fordham University
Headline by: Derek
Runners-Up:
· “America’s Obesity Problem:” – catsandgnomes
· “Freshmen 15 Here I Come!” – james
· “Potatoes Are a Vegetable, Right?” – Skug Skellum
