Wednesday One-Liners Are Working on a Perfume Line

Flustered suit pacing along street: Just letting you know I got a FedEx from Bruce Willis, I guess he finally decided to pay his bills.

–84th St

Overheard by: mikaela

Man to dinner companion: So did you know Mia Farrow is doing a hunger strike? Because of what's happening in Darfur? I hope she dies.

–Red Bamboo, West Village

Transvestite: Damn, that girl looks like Brooke Shields. Damn, that white girl in the blue shoes looks like Brooke Shields.

–4 Train

Man giving out Metro newspaper: Metro! Metro! Whoooeee, baby, you looking like Jennifer Lopez! Metro!

–7 Train

Suit on cell: If he does it again I am going to get all Chuck Woolery on his ass!

–Gold St

Posted on March 9, 2016
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Compare/Contrast, Death, Friends, Men, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Physical appearance, Politics, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Shoes, Street, Stupidity, Suits, Threats, Trannies, Vendors & Street Performers, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-liners Teach Your Children Well

Pregnant woman to 3-year-old son: Do you remember what happened last time you licked the subway? That’s right. You threw up.

–4 train

Overheard by: Leora

Parent: My son is only two years old, sittin’ at the bar, talkin’ ’bout “old school.” How you gon’ talk ’bout “old school” when you two years old? I think my brother taught him that.

–Merrill Lynch lobby, Broadway & Park Row

Mom to 4-year-old: Stop crying and take a moment and think about how you feel.

–Broadway & 104th

Posted on March 8, 2016
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Family Ties, Kids, One-liners, Parents, Public Transportation, Stupidity, Vomit, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary, Words

Wednesday One-Megapixeliners

Pushy black woman to employee standing next to portrait studio samples: The next time I come in here, I want to see my daughter's picture up here, because she is beautiful.

–K-Mart, 34th St

Overheard by: EthanK

Guy: There were some pictures taken, involving, like, my penis and Caleb's penis and five other guys.

–4th St & 2nd Ave

Girl: Food is overrated, let's just take a picture and leave.

–100th St & Broadway

Hipster punk girl on phone: Hello? (pause) No, but I know a girl if you're looking. She also puts jelly on her toes. (pause) Who? I once sold a semi-nude photo of myself at an art show once. I think Brendan has a copy of it… no one would ever pay to see my feet. But again, I ask, who were you talking to? (pause) Dave was under the impression that I sold pictures of my extremities for money? That's awesome! I'm going to send him a picture of my elbow!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Ayenbird

Guy: The more bodies, the more pictures. That's what I always say.

–14th St & 7th Ave

Posted on March 7, 2016
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Black People, Body Parts, Clerks, Compare/Contrast, Food, For Sale, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Money & Class, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Penis, Pictures, Punks, Store, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Don't Even Bother Bringing Up Shallots.

Teen #1: What's a scallion pancake? Do you put syrup on it?
Teen #2: I don't know.
Teen #1: I thought scallions were a seafood.
Teen #2: No. That's “scallops.”

–Chinese Takeout, Queens

Overheard by: illyria

Posted on March 5, 2016
Ethnic Food, Grocery Stores, Queens, Questions, Stupidity, Teens, Words

Slows Me Down on the Bike

Bike messenger #1: Education is so fucking overrated. Honestly, the worst mistake I ever made.
Bike messenger #2: Uhhh…
Bike messenger #1: Serious fucking waste of time.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Neilium

Posted on March 4, 2016
Coworkers, Education, Gripes, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village

Shhh, She’s Undercover

Woman: Are these Japanese dolls?
Employee: Yes.
Woman: Oh, are you Japanese?
Employee: No.
Woman: Are you sure?

–Union Square

Posted on March 3, 2016
Manhattan, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village

Expecting Some Wednesday One-liners?

Teen girl: Girl, you look cute pregnant! You should stay pregnant!

–2 train

Overheard by: n69n

Posted on March 3, 2016
Compliments, On the Subway, One-liners, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Stupidity, Teens

That Sounds Like It’s About Wong

Woman #1: So I decided to celebrate turning 50 by traveling to Tibet.
Woman #2: Tibet? Where’s that? London?
Woman #1: …No, it’s near China and Russia.
Woman #2: Oh. It’s not like I don’t like to travel but I went to Mexico once and it was stupid.

–4 train