A guy runs down and holds the train doors open. Guy: Yo! Yo! …Yo!
Conductor: Next stop West 4th, stand clear.
The doors close.
Conductor: …I wanna know who “Yo” is.
–A train
Overheard by: p. vale
A guy runs down and holds the train doors open. Guy: Yo! Yo! …Yo!
Conductor: Next stop West 4th, stand clear.
The doors close.
Conductor: …I wanna know who “Yo” is.
–A train
Overheard by: p. vale
Texan teen #1: Look! Look over there!
Texan teen #2: Where?! I don’t see it! What?! [Texan teen #1 points to man playing keyboard and singing.] Ohhh my god! He’s singin’! Cooool! Wow! God!
–Port Authority station
Hipster to friend having problems with ATM card: Maybe it's for normal people and you're just abnormally large.
–Village ATM
Overheard by: rafa
Overenthusiastic father of new skater: Oh, you know, it's her first time, so I wanted to make sure that I was there to help her through it so that it'd be extra-special for her.
–Wollman Rink, Central Park
Overweight woman: Where's Wang? Guys, where's Wang?
–Hard Rock Cafe
Tourist mom: It's not big enough to impress me.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Not The Empire State, Surely
Loud woman: It was a three-legged pussy!
–Union Square Subway Station
Overheard by: Rachel K
Modern literature professor, after ending class early: Well, that's it, I've blown my load.
–Columbia University
Jamaican lady: You fucker! I sell drugs for the Police. They call them dealers because they make deals. I made a deal. Do you pay me? Am I your employee? Fuck you, brush your teeth!
–F train
Overheard by: z0mb13
Guy on cell: I’m off today. I ran over one of the kids with the bus.
–72nd & 1st
Overheard by: Todd Horan
Trader: I’m almost wishing to come back in my next life as the Jewish wife of a Jewish husband.
–Madison Avenue office
Man on cell: She’s got a summer job editing Harlequin romance novels. Yeah, which goes so well with…you know…her divinity degree.
–118th & Broadway
Security guard: One of my feet has five fingers less than the other one, but I don’t claim disability. I work three jobs: model, actor and security guard, I’m not stopping until I make fifty-two million.
–F train
Overheard by: Nico Westerdale
Store chick: I’m just sampling the food so I can explain to customers why it’s so expensive.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: jexe
Southern girl: I got guys asking me to send them pictures of my cooter. It’s like guys know when you’re taken; they flock to you like bees to moldy bread.
–3 train
Woman #1: These moving sidewalks are for the birds!
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: The moving sidewalks are for the birds!
Woman #2: What birds?
–Court Plaza station
Overheard by: Cheryl
Tourist: Where do we get the Uptown A?
Local: Right here. Down those stairs.
Tourist: But is it Uptown? The sign doesn’t say ‘Uptown’ or ‘Downtown.’
Local: You can get them both here.
Tourist: But we need Uptown. How will we know it’s there if there’s no sign?
Local: Blind faith, I guess.
Tourist: I think we should take a cab.
–Outside W 4th St subway
Chick riding down escalator: I can’t believe Andrea left work at 5:30 today.
Thug riding up escalator: Bitch had to leave to go suck my dick!
Chick and friend, gasping: Oh my god!
Thug, to thug friend: She gotta climb that corporate ladder somehow, yo!
–53rd & Lex station
Frat boy #1: I’ve been reading Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Dude, this book makes so much sense. I totally understand women now.
Frat boy #2: Yeah?
Frat boy #1: Yeah. This girl at work, she was all into me and shit and I totally cut her off, it was cold. She was so annoying. I really understand how to deal with women now. It explains all their games and translates what they’re saying.
Frat boy #2: So I’m reading this book about Transylvanian necrophiliacs…
–1 Train
Overheard by: Suzanne
Russian Lady: Oh no, he’s too gentle to be a teacher. He went there before and the kids did whatever they wanted. They took everything from the tables.
–D Train
