Little boy: Mom, can I download you?
–Barnes & Noble, Astor Place
Little boy: Mom, can I download you?
–Barnes & Noble, Astor Place
Concerned girl crossing street: But the light says “Don't walk”!
Amused friend: Right…so we run!
–Broadway & Houston
Overheard by: I was sauntering, personally
Kid on cell: I am about to kill myself because of you!
Hobo in wheelchair: Do it! Do it! You haven’t got the balls!
–Prince between Mulberry & Mott
Overheard by: Hashashin
Guy #1: Wow, did you see that rat? Where did it come from?
Guy #2: It came out of nowhere, just like my herpes.
–Prince Street & 6th Ave
Teen scene girl: And that's a whole fucking different story! You always said you wanted to die having a heart attack in a car!
–57th & 3rd
Overheard by: Duluthian
Guy in line: I haven't had a corn dog since Jim Belushi died.
–Nathan's, Coney Island
Creepy guy on cell: Hey. Did you hear about the Craigslist killer? Yeah, isn't that a great idea?
–Penn Station
20-something irritated man on cell: Dude, stop freaking out! They're probably not going to do the autopsy for another three days.
–8th Ave & 15th St
Conductor: Please, no one cross cars, if the train makes a turn you will fall through, get crushed and die, thank you and have a lovely evening. Oh, and it's lovely to be alive.
–Amtrak Train to Penn Station
Overheard by: Paige
Guy: Yeah, my goal is to work at the Nike factory.
Girl: That's your goal!? Like in life!?
–Bleecker & Carmine
Overheard by: Jacob
Drunk guy: You’re not the boss of me…Bruce Springsteen is the boss of me.
–The Red Lion, Bleecker Street
Guy: Seriously. Puff’s attorney called me the other day to say Puff wants me to sign a confidentiality agreement. Puff doesn’t want me to disclose that he is the seller. I said to tell Puff that he’s the one who has to sign a confidentiality agreement. If the boys at Goldman find out who I am buying from, my credibility is going to be shot forever.
–Anotheroom, West Broadway
Overheard by: Big Lex
Paralegal lady on phone: And I thought to myself, “She looks so familiar, who is she?” Queen Latifah’s mother!…No, mangos.
–Office, 50th & 6th
Girl: Well, if he’s cranking the bass on a Dixie Chicks song at 2AM on a Monday at a bear bar to sell beer to lesbians he has much bigger problems than he knows.
–The Dugout, Christopher Street
Chick: If we see Robbie Williams tonight, I’m gonna die.
–30th & Park
Hipster guy: Yeah and what’s with Simon Cowell? That guy is like the Grinch Who Stole Everything Else.
–Abbey Bar, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Spyridon Panousopoulos
Guy: You know you have reached the lowest point of all human existence when there’s a telethon featuring only John Denver music.
–2nd between A & B
Overheard by: djlindee
Guy: God, I love going to Galapagos. You always run into all the right people there. You know, all the people that you haven’t seen since that last Yeah Yeah Yeahs show?
–L train
Overheard by: Shannon
Woman on cell: Remember that handsome lawyer who took me out to dinner the other night? Yeah, well, he gave me an STD. It reminded me of a song.
–14th & 6th
Professor guy: Billy Joel, wow. He’s got about 10 shows coming up. I bet the stage production budget is through the roof. I’d drive a car onto stage…and smash it into a tree.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Woman: Brian Wilson beat me right the hell up right there; right the hell up!
–43rd between 8th & 9th
Overheard by: Ryan Duncan
Old woman: Oh, is Lil’ Kim in jail?
–7th & Bleecker
Overheard by: Sarah Doogs
Dude: I was listening to a DMX record the other day, and if that
guy’s telling the truth, he’s lived quite a life.
–Gee Whiz Restaurant, Greenwich Street
Overheard by: Matthew Alhonte
Asian guy: The time has come fo’ mad hip-hop.
–Go Sushi, St. Marks Place
Overheard by: Alyson Leigh
Crazy lady: Excuse me…Excuse me…Have you heard of a band called “The Diarrheas”? From Washington, DC! With Hillary and…Chuck! Like from Friday the 13th? Do you think they’ll be successful?
–11th between 52nd & 53rd
Third floor window guy: Hey fuck you, I don’t need you telling me that you are cooler than me, I saw the Ramones in ’83!…Fuck you, your not cooler than me, I saw Fugazi’s first show, I saw Minor Threat. What is your fucking claim to fame, seeing the White Stripes?
–Rivington & Stanton
Gangsta: What was I saying?
Super preppie, impatiently: So you were in the handcuffs…
–6th Ave & 8th St
Tourist, tapping man on shoulder: Excuse me sir, would you mind pointing me to the Empire State Building, please?
Man, pointing at the sky: See that building? The shiny big one, with all the pretty lights? Walk straight towards it.
Tourist: Thank you, my good man!
–Downing St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Emma
Swaying hobo with outstretched arms, as it starts to drizzle: I make it rain, I make it rain, I make it rain on you, hoes!
–14th St & University Place
Conductor over PA, on sunny 50-degree day: Due to inclement weather, the 2 and 3 trains will be running on the local track.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: Ladle
Bag lady: I'm not selling ass, just panhandling. It's too cold.
–9th Ave & 25th St
Really tall dude to no one in particular, very energetically: It's a beautiful day, oh my god! I'm gonna cancel all my appointments and go on a walk!
–2nd & Bedford
Angry stranded guy: And you were all like "it doesn't snow in the city, there are too many cars!"
–Bleecker St
