These Wednesday One-Liners Got Sole!

Woman: Nothing says "ferry terminal" like fish with moustaches.

–Battery Maritime Building

Overheard by: Jon A.

Guy in quiet, crowded elevator: Do you know if jellyfish reproduce sexually?

–Google's NYC Office, 15th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Derek

Teen girl to friend: But your shrimp ate a fish alive? Is that what happened? I don't believe you. Shrimp can't eat fish. It's like part of a food chain or something.

–Metro North Railroad

Overheard by: Jessica S.

Excited tourist girl among crowd of Chinese people: I can smell the fish!

–Grand Street Subway Station

Overheard by: Angelina

30-something female customer to H&M employee: Do I smell like I just ate fish?

–H&M

Overheard by: julia

Really drunk girl in front of gallery: I would fuck him for lobster!

–26st St & 10th Ave, Chelsea

Overheard by: Charlotte

Posted on April 14, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Chinese, Clerks, Customers, Drunks, Elevators, Food, Friends, Girls, Grand Central, Guys, Office, One-liners, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Store, Street, Teens, The Village, Tourists, Train Station, Trains Not Subway, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women, Words

If Only the Streets Had Signs

Tourist guy looking at map: We have to find 7th Avenue. The tour guide said it was on 7th Avenue.
Tourist lady: I know, but it's also in Times Square, so we should go there first.

–7th Ave & 43rd St

Overheard by: DawllyLlama

Posted on April 4, 2010
Directions, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Tourism, Tourists

Then We Discovered She Was a Mannequin

Bro tourist #1: Has CJ ever had a girlfriend?
Bro tourist #2: Yeah.
Bro tourist #1: Is he a ladies' man?
Bro tourist #3: Yeah. His last girlfriend? She was hot!

–24th & 8th

Posted on March 25, 2010
Beauty, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Questions, Relationships, Tourists

No More Deer Penis for Me

Tourist woman to husband: Is it all vegetarian?
Guy waiting in doorway: Uh… Yeah.
Tourist woman: Oh. That makes sense.

–Outside Vegeterian Dim Sum, Chinatown

Overheard by: Brok

Posted on March 19, 2010
Chinatown, Couples, Customers, Idiots, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Strangers, Stupidity, Tourists, Vegetarian & Vegan

I Thought the W Train Didn't Go to Brooklyn?

MTA announcement, as train stops: We're being held momentarily by the train's dispatcher. Please be patient.
Tourist: What'd he say?! We're going to hell? Temporarily?

–W Train

Overheard by: Jason

Posted on March 15, 2010
Language Barrier, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Satan, Tourists, Words

Anything You Say Can and Will Be Used Against Wednesday One-Liners

Little boy to father, watching NYPD officers standing outside on horseback: Shit, yo! The cops is here!

–W 42nd St

Overheard by: Nikki

Loudspeaker on police car to pedestrians: We have sidewalks in New York. Try using them!

–Chinatown

NYC cop to pushy tourist: Don't touch me, I have no answers for you.

–Columbus Circle

Man to cop: When are you gonna learn that, man? People suck!

–Grand Central Station

Cop on horseback to pedestrian horse admirer: Don't get any closer to the horse, unless you want rabies.

–3rd St & Thompson

Overheard by: Heather

Posted on March 10, 2010
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Chinatown, Cops, Dads, Grand Central, Gripes, Illness, Insults, Kids, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, One-liners, Only in New York, Parents, Questions, Strangers, Street, The Village, Tourism, Tourists, Train Station, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

An A-Train With No Flamboyant People Is Like an Aquarium With No Fish

Flamboyant man in sunglasses, after pushing his way into the closing doors: Whew, I made it, I don't have to wait 20 minutes… Where's my applause?
(two tourists applaud half-heartedly)
Flamboyant man: Thank you, thank you. Now don't you feel better now that you've applauded?

–A Train

Posted on February 25, 2010
Men, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Tourists

Ten Bucks Says She Goes Home and Tweets Excitedly About the Rude New Yorker

20-something tourist chick, screaming: I love New York!
20-something preppy black guy: Well, it doesn't love you back, so shut the fuck up.

–7th Ave & W 55th St

Overheard by: KC

Posted on February 19, 2010
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Black People, Comebacks, Insults, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Only in New York, Preppies, Tourism, Tourists

And I Thought You Supported a Woman's Right to Shoes?

Tourist girl: We still have to make it to Williamsburg! When are we gonna do that?
Tourist guy: Why? What's in Williamsburg?
Tourist girl: Shoes… For one.

–2nd Ave & 10th St

Overheard by: Rubie

Posted on February 6, 2010
Shoes, Shopping, Tourism, Tourists, Travel, Union Square and East Village

Tourists