Wednesday's One-Liner Sense Is Tingling

Black man in Batman suit trying to get tourists to pay to take pictures with him: I got bills! I got bills!

–Times Square

Overheard by: kpan

Traffic cop, motioning in vain for car to stop: I guess my powers aren't working today…

–Citifield, 7 Train Entrance

Teenage girl: I love my physics teacher. He's like a fat, middle-aged Superman.

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Large man with heavy accent shouting into cell: Please send somebody–I have just been robbed. (pause) I am on the corner. (pause) What do you mean, "white"? He is a Spiderman! He's wearing a Spiderman suit!

–Stanton & Essex

Posted on May 5, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Cars and Driving, Clothing, Cops, Diet/Weight, Fast Times at New York High, Fat People, Lower East Side, On Cell, One-liners, Physical appearance, Pictures, Queens, School and studying, Superheroes, Teens, Thievery, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

We Really Don't Give the Jews Enough Credit

Grizzly-faced tourist: Yeah, you see those trees over there?
Companion: Yeah.
Grizzly-faced tourist: Those were here when New York was invented by Ed Koch.

–Central Park West & 72nd St

Posted on May 1, 2010
History & Geography, Questions, Tourism, Tourists, Trees and plants, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness

Westchester, Hoboken, Paramus…

Teen girl: Have you ever been to Long Island?
Tourist man: No, but I've been to the other five boroughs.

–Penn Station

Posted on April 23, 2010
Girls, NYC Geography, Penn Station, Questions, Tourism, Tourists

FAQsday One-Liners

NYU girl: It's a box, though… Can you FedEx a box?

–Starbucks

Overheard by: Elena

Tourist: So… Are we like, underground now?

–NRW Train

Overheard by: Stacey

Mom in toy store: Do you guys have any organic play-doh?

–7th Ave & Garfield, Park Slope

Overheard by: persiangroove

Teen tourist bimbo, looking at Rockefeller Center Christmas tree Swarovski tree topper: So, can we buy it?

–Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: Kaitlen

20-something girl: Wait, so what's a blog?

–55th & 6th

Thug on bus on cell: Yeah, I just got on the bus. How will I know when it's the third stop?
(goes on to get off on the second stop)

–Roosevelt Island

Posted on April 21, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Bus, Clerks, Customers, Directions, For Sale, Girls, Internet, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Money & Class, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Park Slope, Public Transportation, Questions, Rockefeller Center, Shopping, Sorority Girls, Starbucks, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Thugs, Tourism, Tourists, Trains Not Subway, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners

These Wednesday One-Liners Got Sole!

Woman: Nothing says "ferry terminal" like fish with moustaches.

–Battery Maritime Building

Overheard by: Jon A.

Guy in quiet, crowded elevator: Do you know if jellyfish reproduce sexually?

–Google's NYC Office, 15th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Derek

Teen girl to friend: But your shrimp ate a fish alive? Is that what happened? I don't believe you. Shrimp can't eat fish. It's like part of a food chain or something.

–Metro North Railroad

Overheard by: Jessica S.

Excited tourist girl among crowd of Chinese people: I can smell the fish!

–Grand Street Subway Station

Overheard by: Angelina

30-something female customer to H&M employee: Do I smell like I just ate fish?

–H&M

Overheard by: julia

Really drunk girl in front of gallery: I would fuck him for lobster!

–26st St & 10th Ave, Chelsea

Overheard by: Charlotte

Posted on April 14, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Chinese, Clerks, Customers, Drunks, Elevators, Food, Friends, Girls, Grand Central, Guys, Office, One-liners, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Store, Street, Teens, The Village, Tourists, Train Station, Trains Not Subway, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women, Words

If Only the Streets Had Signs

Tourist guy looking at map: We have to find 7th Avenue. The tour guide said it was on 7th Avenue.
Tourist lady: I know, but it's also in Times Square, so we should go there first.

–7th Ave & 43rd St

Overheard by: DawllyLlama

Posted on April 4, 2010
Directions, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Tourism, Tourists

Then We Discovered She Was a Mannequin

Bro tourist #1: Has CJ ever had a girlfriend?
Bro tourist #2: Yeah.
Bro tourist #1: Is he a ladies' man?
Bro tourist #3: Yeah. His last girlfriend? She was hot!

–24th & 8th

Posted on March 25, 2010
Beauty, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Questions, Relationships, Tourists

No More Deer Penis for Me

Tourist woman to husband: Is it all vegetarian?
Guy waiting in doorway: Uh… Yeah.
Tourist woman: Oh. That makes sense.

–Outside Vegeterian Dim Sum, Chinatown

Overheard by: Brok

Posted on March 19, 2010
Chinatown, Couples, Customers, Idiots, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Strangers, Stupidity, Tourists, Vegetarian & Vegan

I Thought the W Train Didn't Go to Brooklyn?

MTA announcement, as train stops: We're being held momentarily by the train's dispatcher. Please be patient.
Tourist: What'd he say?! We're going to hell? Temporarily?

–W Train

Overheard by: Jason