Guy #1: Yeah, she was really upset. You can just tell when girls get upset.
Guy #2: They smell different.
Guy #3: Their vaginas get all crinkly.
Guy #2: They smell like… dolphins.
Guy #3: And they turn all white.
Guy #2 to guy #1: You learned something today.
–8th St & University Pl
3rd grader, cheerily announcing to subway: I'm starving! I didn't even have breakfast! (jubilantly) Just candy!
–4 Train
Overheard by: i tried that once
Cosi employee to another: Dude, don't tell anyone, but I put a *special ingredient* in the brownies.
–Cosi Restaurant
Fat girl with three skinny friends and a large cupcake: So what do you think our cupcake choices say about our personalities?
–Crumbs Bake Shop
Overheard by: Damon
Old guy with ponytail: You bootlegged My Bloody Valentine? That's like breaking into the US Mint and stealing the chocolate sauce!
–7th Ave
Overheard by: Good Analogy
Girl: And by "jellybean," I mean "fetus"!
–Christopher & W 4th St
Woman: It's no longer a chocolate vagina, it's just a pool of chocolate!
–Manhattan Center Grand Ballroom
Overheard by: Ilyssa
Teen girl #1: How does a female condom work?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, what do you put it on?
Teen girl #3: I think you put it on that thing on the top of your vagina.
Middle Eastern cashier: Do you know what you are saying? Get out of my store!
–East Village bodega, 1st & 1st
Overheard by: Chaz Michael Michaels
Puerto Rican teen #1: That’s nothing. I seen a horse give birth on the TV. That baby horse just come outta the big horse butt all slimy and shit.
Puerto Rican teen #2: Oh, snap?
Puerto Rican teen #1: For real, yo. That’s some big stuff comin’ outta your butt if you’re a horse and shit…
–14th St, between Ave A & Ave B
Chick #1: Wait, you like pussy?
Chick #2: Well…
Chick #1, yelling: You like pussy! That’s amazing! This opens up so many options!
–Madison & Rutgers
Hobo, eating a chicken kebab: I want me some pussy. I don’t care where it’s from. I just really want me some pussy to fuck. I wanna make her pussy go (sticks tongue out of mouth) pfffffffff.
Girl on street: Alright. That’s enough.
–W 4th & Broadway
Overheard by: KTandSheila
Black guy: And lemme get two Dutches…
Store clerk: (puts them on the counter)
Black guy: And lemme also get that … that female Dutch.
Store clerk: (looks confused)
Black guy: You know, man, that female Dutch. You know what I'm talkin bout, man.
Store clerk, pointing to various items: This one? This one?
Black guy: Nah, man, you know, that female Dutch! For the pussy, man! For the pussy!
Store clerk: (takes down a douche) This one?
Black guy: Yeah, yeah! See? You knew what I was talkin bout!
–130th St & Lenox Ave
Overheard by: Kosi
Guy: I don't think bees even have vaginas.
–23rd & 3rd
Suit to another: I want him scrutinized. At a gnat's ass level!
–Midtown Office
Middle school thug: I been radioactivatin' spiders in my kitchen.
–C Train
Overheard by: Emily B.
Mother to five-year-old boy: No, you can't buy grandma a plastic spider for Christmas!
–74th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Harriet Vane's Husband
Guy on cell: Hey, did I tell you I got drunk last night and ordered 1,500 ladybugs off the internet?
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ashley
Girl #1: He has no idea how good this pussy is.
Girl #2: He’s just taking your pussy for granted. You know what you need?
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: A new booty call.
Girl #1: I don’t have time for a new booty call. He just needs to learn how good my pussy is.
–The Riviera ladies’ room, W. 4th Street
Overheard by: Lela Justin
Girl #1: Where do eggs come from? I mean, do chickens have vaginas?
Girl #2: I don’t want to know.
Girl #1: I mean, I was thinking about this the other day. Where do they come out of the chicken?
Girl #2: Let’s just drop it.
Girl #1 to Girl #3: What, does she not like chickens?
–MoMA
Overheard by: El Pollo
