Girl #1: I hate people who keep talking because they love the sound of their own voice! Like, unless you're gonna tell me about shoving a chicken up your vagina, I don't wanna hear it!
Girl #2: That's the second time we've talked about chicken girl and I still don't know her name.
–Crown Heights
Overheard by: chris k.
Ponytailed girl on cell, excitedly: Maybe you have, like, bacterial vaginosis or something! Yeah! That would explain it. No, you don't wanna smell like cinnamon down there, cinnamon toast crotch!
–86th & Lexington
Girl, walking onto stinky train car: Oh, shit, yo! It smells like a whole mess of hot ass up in this piece.
–L Train
Loud singing teen, stopping in mid-song: Damn! Somebody smell like soup!
–F Train
Overheard by: bpm
Smelly woman on elevator: I'ma kick that man's butt. I don't smell that strong!
–Office Building, Harlem
Overheard by: Liz
Man: This place smells like venereal disease!
–Port Authority Subway Tunnel
Overheard by: Courtney
Guy on cell: Who knows what I can do now that I don't smell like dogshit. The sky is the limit. (pause) Yeah, no more living in fear!
–27th & 5th
Attractive 20-something man: Do you want me to sleep over tonight?
Attractive 20-something woman: Yes, but only if you put your penis in my vagina.
Attractive 20-something man: You've got yourself a deal.
–36th & 5th
Overheard by: lola
Aspiring street musician: Hey, lady! Wanna buy my CD?
Lady: Nope! That shit's rap and I only like R&B!
Aspiring street musician: Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn't be outside with your pussy smelling like that!
–Outside Macy's
Overheard by: Nick Spiller
Gay #1: Sometimes, I just wish I was a stripper.
Gay #2: Oh, I would totally go to see you.
Lesbian: Yeah, me too, but only if you can make the mangina.
–Porn Shop, West Village
Overheard by: me too…
Guy #1: You guys should put on a musical next year!
Guy #2: We would, but a musical's pretty elaborate. I mean, we have plenty of girls who can sing, but no guys at all.
Guy #1: Oh! Then you should, like, do The Vagina Monologues, The Musical!
Guy #2: (stares)
–3rd Ave & 10th St
Girl #1, missing yet another shot: God, this is so frustrating! All I want to do is just get it in the hole.
Girl #2: Yeah, now I know how guys must feel.
–Amsterdam Billiards
Guy wearing a promotional cardboard to another: I think I'm going to treat myself to health insurance next month.
–Broadway & 43rd St
Overheard by: Maria
Woman on phone: My urologist wanted to stick a microscope up my urethra! (pause) No! (pause) Because it's going to hurt!
–Vandam St & 6th Ave
20-something woman on cell: Yeah, the doctor told me not to exfoliate my labia.
–R Train
Overheard by: Note to self….
Bartender: I gotta get sexy for my doctor tomorrow. I'm gonna be like, "doctor, I need you to examine me. I need you to remove my garments." Nah… I'm just playin'. My doctor's cute, though. For real. I'm just gonna show some cleavage or somethin'.
–Jamaica, Queens
Woman on phone: She wants to be a doctor. She likes it when the guts fall out. (pause) No, she wouldn't do that. She's too lazy to be a serial killer.
–Fox Newsroom, 6th & 48th
Overheard by: Newsbunny
Guy on cell: Dude, I am so gonna punish that pussy.
Girl sitting next to him, texting: You know you have a small penis, right?
–L Train
Overheard by: Caged Monkey
