Wednesday One-Liners Heart Meerkats

Pretty 20-something girl: I might reconsider if there is a horse involved.

–Manhattan Beach

Overheard by: The Tutors

Girl to friend: Look at sociology. Look at the animals. That totally explains it. It is just like the animals, sociology explains everything.

–West 4th & Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Darci

Woman to man: Because I'd really like to understand what makes a good toreador and what makes a bad toreador.

–70th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Lisa B.

Girl who was just handed an anti-bird-porn flyer: I have never even seen birds mating. Now I am intrigued.

–Hair Rush Line Central Park

Overheard by: Krysta

Pet store clerk to customer: I don't know what flavor it is. It's turtle food. It's what they eat.

–Flushing Petland Discount

Park janitor to pigeons: I need all's you guys to be flappin' yo' wings and help me be cleanin' up these leaves. (pigeons coo, janitor starts cooing with them)

–Clinton & Congress, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Was a good impression

Posted on March 12, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Birds, Brooklyn, Central Park, Cleanliness, Clerks, Compare/Contrast, Coworkers, Food, Girls, Offers and requests, Queens, Science, Sexuality, Upper East Side, Washington Square Park, Weirdness, Women

Like, Where's the Ten Hookers-a-leaping I Asked for Last Year?

Guy dressed as Santa: Hey, man, got a cigarette?
Random guy: Fuck no, I got a beef with you, Santa!

–Bar, Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Keavy (loves Santa)

Posted on March 8, 2015
Bars & Clubs, Guys, Insults, Offers and requests, Smoking, Strangers, Washington Square Park

The Don Draper Costume, for Instance.

Older musician in nice suit: It's Halloween! Hell, every day is a Halloween!
Friend: That explains a lot about you.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: stavka

Posted on March 5, 2015
Celebrations/Parties, Friends, Musicians, Parks, Time, Washington Square Park

Ad: With New Baby Puptard, the Girls Will Flock to You!

Guy #1: That’s how you would get a hook-up easy.
Guy #2: Hanging out with a retard?
Guy #1: Everybody, and I mean everybody, knew him. If you hung out with Cooper, you instantly got props or something.
Blonde, laughing: Yeah, that’s all guys need to get girls — puppies, babies or retards.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: MastahD

Posted on March 4, 2015
Advice, Friends, Relationships, Washington Square Park

No, Dear Heart, I’m With You

Queer: I would never want my little girl to be in Girl Scouts!
Girl: Why?
Queer: Because Girl Scouts is for lesbians.
Girl: That’s not true! I was in Girl Scouts, and I’m not a lesbian!
Queer: Yeah, but you’re fat and alone.

–Washington Sq Park

Posted on February 24, 2015
Assholes, Comebacks, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Insults, Queer guys, Washington Square Park, Wishes & desires

Only Someone Miserable Could Create New Jersey

Father: For the last time, God is not the president! They are not the same thing!
Little boy: Okay, so nobody is God.
Father: No, that is not what I said. God looks like different things to different people.
Little boy: I think God looks like… um… happy…
Father: Whatever.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Lori

Posted on February 23, 2015
Dads, God, Kids, Washington Square Park

Wednesday Two-Become-One Liners

Girl on cell: You're like the male version of me! Of course I want to have sex with you!

–Washington Square Park

Girl: I don't give a shit about your personal life, will anyone in this bar have goddamn sex with me?!

–Naked Lunch, Tribeca

Guy on cell: So anyway, I told her I'd come and fuck her brains out. Wait a minute, I've got another call coming in… (answers) Hi, mom!

–E Train

Gay queen, while female friends take photo of werewolf: It's worth having sex with just because of the foot…

–The Slaughtered Lamb Pub, West Village

Overheard by: Lost on Christmas Day

Girl on phone: I ain't denying you shit, motherfucker! You want to pound my ass? Come over and pound me! You want to fill my mouth with juice? Then fill me with juicy goodness! (pause) Okay, I'll see you later tonight, then.

–W 123rd & 8th Ave

Ferry queer on phone: Everyone looks like the sex they had last night.

–Staten Island

Posted on February 14, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Always Bringing it Back to You!, Backdoor, Bars & Clubs, Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Cum, Friends, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Insults, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Physical appearance, Pick-up Lines, Pictures, Queer guys, Sex, Staten Island, Threats, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, West Village, Wishes & desires

You’re the One Who Got Him into Coprophilia in the First Place

NYU punk girl: Whatever. I just don’t like him, okay?
NYU punk guy: I just don’t think him being smelly should have anything to do with it.

–Washington Square Park

Posted on February 14, 2015
Punks, Scents of the City, Washington Square Park

A NY Story with a Midwest Conclusion

Hobo: Sorry to interrupt, but I’m starving. Please help me to get some candy and a soda.
Chick: How about a perfectly good pear? You know, if you’re so hungry.

The hobo walks away angry and disgusted; 20 feet later he turns around to give her a dirty look.

Chick: Obviously you’re not that hungry–and it’s called pop!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: James Lin

Posted on February 5, 2015
Food, Hobos, Midwesterners, Washington Square Park